Sentinel (WIP)


#1

I am currently developing a ChoiceScript game called Sentinel. Right now I am still among the first few pages of the intro, but I’d still like some feedback.

I am completely new to ChoiceScript (and writing as a whole) and would appreciate it if you gave me tips and told me about any glitches you find.

Summary:

In Sentinel, you play as a genderless Socoid, androids created in the Artificial Era to compensate for the lack of humans.

Humans on Earth were very industrious, always wanting to advance in the world of technology. Soon after discovering a new type of energy source called Circo and a new metal alloy, humans could easily power and make more machines than ever before. With more artificial products rolling in, machines had outnumbered humans 3 to 1, with mankind completely relying on technology to support them.

To combat this, a group of human scientists and mechanics formed Erigan Corp. and made a plan to repopulate their home planet. They would recycle dead robots and replace the insides with the organ systems of the dead. Using Circo to start their body over again, Erigan Corp. successfully brought the dead back to life.

However, the people thought the idea too inhumane and the “ReBots” were hidden away forever.

Soon, Erigan Corp. came up with a new idea to keep the Earth a human planet. They recycled the idea of “ReBots” but added a twist. These new androids were called “Socoids” and were robots with an artificial organ system heavily inspired by the human body. They were powered by Circo and only needed to breathe to survive. But Erigan Corp took it one step further. Every Socoid was implanted with a strict set of morals, ambitions, and emotions that made them more man than machine.

So where do you come in all of this?

You were the first Socoid, a prototype that was released from the lab early in development by your surrogate father. Still unstable and vastly different from the complete bots, you are as close as an android can get to being human.

But what kind are you?

Will you be a charismatic mischief maker, willing to do anything to keep yourself alive?

Or a hardy fighter with enough guts to withstand the roar of a dragon?

Who are you? And what will you be in this ruthless world?

Find out by playing Sentinel.

_--------------------------------

Here’s the link:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/197349791/web/mygame/index.html


#2

The game is awesome, You could improve the fluency at some occasions but that is not a big issue at all. The decriptions are good so its a thumbs up from me


#3

Mm, it sounds really interesting. Although I do wonder what Socoid’s actually look like… specifically, how human their appearance is. I doubt they could pass for human at a glance so… Are they like… umm… those robots from iRobot but with organs?

Also, why didn’t they use metal that wouldn’t rust to make us? Did they cheap out because we’re a prototype? Or was that horrible future acid rain? :stuck_out_tongue:


#4

@irule9344
Thanks for the feedback! I’ve always been upset by the choppiness of my writing. It’s definitely not my strong suit when it comes to writing. Hopefully, I can get the words to flow the right way on the paper/ computer screen.

@Nao
Socoids are very human in appearance. Their skin is artificial, yet surprisingly close to the real human flesh. To make it simple: imagine a random person. That’s what a Socoid looks like. The only way to sense that a Socoid is an actual Socoid is to realize that their blood is red water or delve deep into their body to find the artificial organs. To answer your metal question, I wanted to make the person as human as possible, but still be recognized as a robot. Otherwise, you might as well be a normal person. The reason for the metal rusting is 1. Overtime Oxidation and 2. MetalAlloy used to make the Socoids are sturdy and light but is prone to chemical damage.


#5

@Fultrunner i meant to say that your fluency is actually good i am just saying it is not perfect like comparing to a professional writer. Its not something that really need attention but it would bump it up. it would be a lot of work for a little cause but if your willing to make it perfect then you should do it


#6

@Nao i feel offended, prototypes deserve some respect to. I feeling being called a pile of trash. :stuck_out_tongue: lol


#7

@Prototype Oh don’t worry, you’re one of those super prototypes! You’re better than the other mass produced models! (I hope there’s no user named Mass Produced…)

@FultRunner Or, I would assume, by pulling down their pants? :stuck_out_tongue: I’m assuming they have no junk since they’re genderless, so that’d be a tell-tale sign too. Unless they are built to look like a specific gender and just don’t identify with either one; so it really doesn’t matter to them. Or I could just be reading into this way too much. I tend to do that. Bad brain, bad.

Anyway, interested! It seems like you already know where you’re going with this story, which is infinitely better than stumbling around in the dark! Looking forward to more!

Almost forgot! There’s this weird “째put hot pockets In recycling binhttp://db.tt/DVU0KEm5” thing at the end there. Hmm… I’ve never had a hot pocket before…


#8

@Nao
They are built with private parts in mind. Especially the player character, who is… well, a prototype built with the intention of being almost human. The player character will also have feelings for Socoids or humans :"> that they might find attractive.

Of course, they won’t be able to make babies. That’d be going a little… too far :wink: .

I hadn’t noticed that ending before. I must’ve typed the little quip about hot pockets on the code instead of some other document. I’ll fix this problem when I make the new update.

And again, thanks for the feedback! :slight_smile:


#9

Nice game love the description involved and extremely imaginative

Can the robots be like terminator

Or I robot?


#10

This looks amazing!


#11

Nice game :smiley:


#12

This reminds me of A.I. the movie you guys should watch it!


#13

Yes please tell me we can add other tech to our bodies (assimilate)
the world will be my toy box muahahahaha >:)


#14

This idea sounds pretty farfetched, but innovative.


#15

I thought this demo was good but short. It could only improve from here.


#16

Very interesting concept, I enjoyed your writing style. I’ll have to keep an eye out for this one.