The Darkest Winter- A WIP (Update Jan 3 2015)


#1

What happens when a fruitful discovery ends in destruction of the human race, figure it out as you survive your own personal hell in The Darkest Winter.

Life was good, peachy even. You were going to be rich, then, through a series of events you must survive the end times with whoever you can muster to work with you. Do you dare?

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/82304071/The%20Darkest%20Winter/New%20Gamme/web/mygame/index.html

Hey, so making this game has been fun so far, alas I am only the programmer, TIYF, but the actual writer of this game is RainsfordXY, as this is his great story. I hope you enjoy what we’ve done so far and by all means, have fun.

EDIT: Be aware there are known problems in the inventory system.


#2

Its really interesting, although i got an error when i chose the rise and shine option. Just curious how much of the game do you have done?


#3

@Aznxa Alright lol sorry. That part was not finished, I have labeled it as such now.


#4

Doesn’t work on IE


#5

First off, the link doesn’t work on all browsers. Try Google Chrome, as that worked for me.

Secondly, why on Earth is the gender choice phrased in the way it is? You could either be a boorish male or a polite female? That’s utterly absurd.

The text and the choices determine, without warrant, quite a lot about the character background. If you’re a journalist, you’re hot-headed; if you’re a scientist you’re morally dubious. Better to keep profession for skills alone, and determine character elsewhere.

Ironically you misspelled ‘genius’.

NEVER USE TWO EXCLAMATION MARKS! NEVER!

Quite a few sections here seem a little rushed. Some more text may be needed to embellish the descriptions, maybe add a little introversion here and there. Without these additions, reading may become more of a trawl than an engaging exercise, which would be a damn shame.

This does seem to be a work in the early stages, and a lot of revising is needed, but the theme itself seems quite promising. I would like to see more of it, indeed.


#6

Interesting beginning. It certainly sets up a lot of suspense! The plane crash was very reminiscent of “Lost”, so I was somewhat surprised when the protagonist didn’t end up alone on an island. :slight_smile:

The text would benefit from a round of editing to pare down some of the over-blown and repetitive description in the plane sequence; flesh out the following scenes, which feel very terse by comparison; and correct the spelling, grammar and phrasing (I encountered several sentences whose meaning was totally opaque to me) throughout.

Right now it’s possible to have negative stress - I was able to get a score of -1.

Surely the “Don’t email ChoiceScript here” line at the bottom of the page could just be removed altogether?


#7

@aetheria lol yea, I just wanted to put this up fast, so I went against taking it away because I usually change it to our email. The negative stress is completely useful in the game though, you will find multiple instances in the full game utilizing stress and - stress just means you are even better than not stressed. Thank you for your feedback.

@Drazen As I am a programmer, RainsfordXY will have to take that one.


#8

your writing is awesome but i could not read the whole thing just am too busy right now but i loved what i read keep up the good work


#9

@Drazen, you gave us quite a bit of feedback that I will have to look into. Of coarse the spelling and grammar will be worked out over a period of time, as it is only natural to have many mistakes in a bare bones version. As for the Gender choice, it was not my intention to force that personality, but simply for the times it was pretty common of a man or woman to react that way, however in the future if others share your opinion, I may change such. I can also see now where your coming from with the career choice, and so there’s a good chance I’ll set that straight, and maybe even add a few more lines afterwards to make the character more customized.

Redundancy. I fall victim to it more than I would like to admit in my descriptions, and will fix some of the more tedious paragraph’s when I have time. If you have any suggestions or ideas for TIYF or myself, feel free to message us. No idea is too strange, because I have even received messages saying “You guys should totally add flying spaghetti monsters to your game!” and I manage to throw around the idea and turn it into something relevant, like a snarling airborne mass of tentacles, a super monster. That however is simply an example.

TIYF and I greatly appreciate the support and feedback we receive on this project from all of you. We hope you continue to follow this project, as we both are working hard to make it awesome. Please understand that it is especially difficult to write about a time period that I have never experienced, therefore I’m watching as many movies from the era as possible, or cracking open the history books to learn more.

Thanks again and we will keep you all posted! :slight_smile:


#10

I just learned that had I really been the character on that fateful day I would have died. Because I really would have gone for the parachute. Blast.
(ㆆ∼ㆆ)a


#11

Great work so far. Really enjoyed the background and character development.

The transition after the rescue felt too short. Otherwise, my other comments were stated by others, so I will simply say this is one of the most promising WIPs I’ve seen in a while.


#12

I really liked this , it makes me want more . Like the rush and suspense that you gave the reader even when they escape alive from the wreck. Then to top it off you gave us the mysterious creature in the blizzard, and I also loved the career choices. I actually had trouble deciding which is rare for me , I usually just pick the scientist or solider with this I can finally get some variety.


#13

I have a question
The monster was there at the crash site
But
Was it on the ground and was attracted by the crash
Or
Was it the cause of the crash in the first place
Or did I miss something


#14

Pale Strider, I think you’re going to find out soon. We don’t want to be stalkers with the complete description, don’t we? :stuck_out_tongue:


#15

They don’t need to answer me
I’m not trying to be stalkerish just curious :-?

It just seemed to be there
I thought so fast it must have been in the plane in the first place


#16

And what is wrong with being an conversation stalker


#17

Roslyn is going to be a Conversation Stalker! :-"


#18

Going to be?, I already am …I am always watching, like Jason… :wink:


#19

I was also surprised when it didnt end on an Island either I didnt expect any of those things to happened, idk why but I expected it to be based on like a radio active enteral winter sort of deal with the earth and your suppose to survive idk what I thought that, then after it started to crash I thought it was gonna turn into like lost but with lots more snow, and then it turned into something else, but I think I love the direction its headed towards!

And I like the writing, I guess because I could relate to wanting to see a chicks Gams when she walks away, xD or not having the most supportive or even caring parents, cause most stories where you have parents they are always like uber supportive

Sadly, I dont have much to say besides there was a few typos, I feel you really hit the nail on the head with the intro, and after that part where your having the dream or should I say nightmare, I got really pissed because the story ended, why man? why?


#20

Well I’m working ever so diligently. I pretty much think I need to redo a few portions I haven’t released yet, which shouldn’t effect whats already out in the demo, but it might piss my programmer off XD
The game gets pretty tricky from here.