"FORTUNE the FATED" by Zachary Sergi

Hahah I guess I could look up phonetics, but winging it is more fun. It’s like “Sir G” or the way you’d say the word surge or surgical. It’s actually Sicilian/Italian, but everyone assumes it’s Russian. Also thanks so much for the print book love!!! :slight_smile:

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Ah, thank you! It’s a name that has popular variants all through the Romance and Slavic languages, but there are a bunch of different ways of pronouncing the G so I didn’t want to assume. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Congratulations on the release :smiley: This was a fun read for me and I hope others will enjoy it too.

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I’ll be honest, I have a very love-hate relationship with the Sergiverse, but I am in too deep to just ignore this. So I am pretty much obligated to read this too lol.

But just a quick question… The others were under the Choice of Games brand. Why is this one under Hosted Games?

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Massive congratulations! Now you can sit back and relax :smile:

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Not sure if this is a bug or not, but the copy editing and beta testers fields have placeholder text. Screenshot from the app:

Creative reasons for style experimentation, but also couldn’t work under a deadline with other publishing commitments.

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Is this something you could elaborate on? If not that’s ok, I’m just insatiably curious about how everything works. :laughing:

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Tried the demo. Nope.

There’s just too much narrator “telling” all around. First we’re told what to think about overly lengthy exposition topics, then how to feel towards newly introduced characters… And then there’s the weird “powerful vs powerless” stat; even to someone who enjoys roleplay like myself, I can’t get over the negative connotation of the word itself. Like, the whole premise is your character possessing this reality-breaking ability, so how does being “powerless” even further the narrative? It’s not because it’s the direct antonym that it should be used. Something more elegant or nuanced could’ve been substituted instead. I reckon there was an overabundance of adverbs, too. Like, my eyes bled a little at “temporary preliminary”! The choices also seemed forced. I feel the author already had a predetermined vision of our character, for all the customization possibilities touted in the pitch. And… why again can the truth about an alien invasion not be disclosed? To avoid mass panic? That’s it? So it’s preferable to make people believe this peculiar group of individuals is seeking out power for selfish reasons (and clearly, that’s not going to invite people to try to stop them in the future), rather than allow those peoples, whose existence is apparently threatened by an impending, unavoidable threat, to pool their resources together to figure out a solution? Or even to fund more expeditions to help the group out? That excuse was so flimsy I feel it was just an attempt to add dramatic weight and to make the protagonist’s group look like badass antiheroes.

Also; “yOu ArE aTtraCted to THIS PERSON!” No, really, I’m not. But thanks for asking!

Also (seriously, I’m tired of having to use this word), our abilities had supposedly been kept a secret, so why does it slip during our meeting with the group that “I have reality breaking powahs!”???

Also, do you break things, or do you maybe put them back together? Dunno. Don’t care. Will this get parroted many more times? I ain’t finding out! :smiley:

Rather than pinpoint other specific issues I had, prefaced by more “also’s” (and wasting more of my time doing so), let’s just say I found the writing forced, repetitive in thought, immersion-breaking, and inconsistent with its own established narrative.

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This essentially mirrors my issues with previous games. Not gonna bother with this one. Thanks for writing this.

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Nothing wild, just wanted to experiment outside some house-style rules for writing choices!

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I’m familiar enough with the house style that I’ll probably be able to figure out where you deviated from it when I play the game. :slight_smile: At the very least, I’ll take it as a fun challenge.

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Hey everyone, my little writer heart/panic disorder brain can’t handle this level of unkindness without any intent for constructive criticism, so I’m going to bow out of this space to protect myself. If you have any questions or comments or feedback, find me on social media or patreon!

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I’m really sorry to hear that. I’ve very much enjoyed having you here and getting to interact with you. I hope you’ll reconsider rather than let a mean review or two drive you away from your fans here, but if you truly feel you need to leave, please know you will be missed.

@ZacharySergi although the comments are harsh in the way they’re being stated, they are telling you why they dislike certain aspects so it is not entirely unconstructive. If it becomes a pile on, alert the mods and they’ll deal with it. Your games seem to bring out polar attitudes between those who enjoy your style, and those who don’t. Entirely up to you but it seems a shame to leave after only getting here again over one or two comments from people who haven’t enjoyed it, but do what you need to do to protect your mental health.

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Hi everyone –

Zachary Sergi has expressed his desire to disengage from the forums, and has asked anyone wishing to contact him with questions, comments or feedback to do so on social media or Patreon.

Let us all respect his wishes and no longer tag him back into discussion(s) here on the forums.

If there are any questions or concerns about this, please DM me or another moderator.

Thanks!

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Awesome, Congratulations on the release ZacharySergi. This good, don’t take hate to the heart, let the haters hate and losers weep.This is good.

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Look, I know you mean well, but you posted right under where a moderator asked us not to tag him.

Oops, sorry for that. Removed that tag. I actually didn’t have complete attention to that comment.

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Thanks for being cool about it. And as a general rule, when you see one of those yellow moderation posts, it’s a good idea to read it. Sometimes it won’t be relevant to you, but at the very least it’s a good way to take the temperature of a potentially volatile thread before you go wading in.

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