Fool's Fantasy [WiP] (CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED! UPDATED: 24/01/18)

Excellent. Most excellent! :grin:

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Demo is once again, UPDATED

What’s new?

  • Finished chapter one! (additional 4k words)
  • Minor patches and fixes for prologue and previous work
  • Stat integration for chapter1
  • Meet your sister, Eden! The beautiful yet violent priestess!

It’s not much, I know. But hey it’s an update :smile:. I’ve got things to do 'kay…

I feel like now is the appropriate time for me to incorporate a save system. And tbh, I don’t know how to do that. If any of you guys could help me with it I would greatly appreciate it.

And now, time to talk about it. I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Lurking around in the forums, playing other’s WIP. And I realized, mine’s is a little bit word-y when compared to others. It’s just a though, but how are guys liking my work so far? Do you enjoy my stuff or would you suggest that I compress my work better to make it so that it’s less detailed and more focused on the mechanics?

I don’t know if this is true, but I felt like I’ve improved a lot when compared to when I first write the demo. I did some testing and review on the early stuff and I have to say, now, I don’t like how I wrote the prologue anymore. I might do a rework on it in the future.

I know my audience is small. So, to the ones who are reading this I appreciate the support. Thank you. Give me your thoughts! What do you think of Eden? What do you think of Sig? What do you think of the other characters that I’ve introduced?

That’s it. Hope you enjoy the update and…hope you have a good day. :blush:

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Wth did she do to us?

check this thread : CJW save plugin and this for step by step : step-by-step

and i know its quite confusing (i feel ya)…, basically you need to download the plugins (smPlugin.js and smPluginMenuAddon.js) → put it in the web folder of your choicescript game (outside mygame folder)


→ and then open the index.html in the mygame folder with notepad (i used notepad++)

html%20file

→ and then add these lines of code (look at the picture)
<script src="../smPlugin.js"></script>
<script src="../smPluginMenuAddon.js"></script>

→ after that, you can add *sm_init code in your startup file (be sure to put it at the bottom of your variable and achievement code to avoid an error.)

hope it helps :grin: im quite a noob at coding, and i figure it out after doing it for a while longer after several failed attempt XD. lol

EDIT : how to put *sm_init code :

example : *sm_init Fool's Fantasy | 3

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as for you other question >>>>

im afraid i can’t answer that (i didn’t try the demo yet --sorry–) i’ll be back later after i give it a go :wink:

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@Black_Knight She basically smashed you in the face so hard that you passed out. Lol.

@Curious_Boy Ikr. I browsed the forum for tutorials on using the same @CJW plugin and always ends up getting more confused than before I looked up for the tutorials :smile:. You’re a saviour btw.

Haven’t tried it yet, but your instructions seemed pretty clear and easy to follow.

Thank you! Have a virtual hug :hugs:

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@Curious_Boy Please, take your time :wink:. I would greatly appreciate it.

Is the sis suppose to be a RO? Because I am getting a “siscon” vibe from the whole encounter.

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@Black_Knight Glad you asked. Yes. she is an RO. Technically–technically, the two of you aren’t blood related. So yeah… At least that’s what I intend to do if you play as a male. If female, then I think instead of viewing you as a love interest, she would see you as an equal and sort of a rival if that makes sense :thinking:

But hey, Incest is wincest (I’m joking ofc)

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I must say I’m take liking to your writing style :slightly_smiling_face: although I have question, is this used to be non interactive story? :thinking:

I’m enjoying how it is currently are, my suggestion will be to show instead of tell. I would certainly love to see more of how we got our skill instead of small part of it.

Rash young lady, certainly in need of some manner lesson, how could she knocked out her own sister! :angry: (:joy:). In a serious matter, she seems like cute little sister, but I’m worried with her manner.

I like him, he quiet and serious, but need to learn to be more subtle, wonder how MC meet with him.

I’m curious about MC Lieutenant friend, but he certainly are fool, why he heal his enemy? :confused: I have feeling MC going to meet him again soon.

I loving the mother, don’t know why but I have feeling she know that MC are the “lordslayer”(or something).

I love that she show how MC love the Icarus story at there, it’s like she try to show that the MC is in similar position of Icarus when he fly higher to see if he can see more beautiful view, but disappointed and try to fly higher again.
It can be me reading it too much though.

And that old man (Tyselle?) certainly are badass, shame he smoker :frowning: he also earn my respect, since he capable to teach and fight with that condition.

This Miriam also suspicious, wonder what she’s planing.

Fair enough :thinking: if it not much of trouble, can you tell us who going to be ROs?

That explains her temper to poor Reyna :anguished:


Lastly, I found some typos, do you want me to PM it to you or upload it here? (I can’t report it immediately though)

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Please tell me Eden is an RO. She’s not blood-related to the MC.

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download

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I love where this is going, And i’m looking forwards to the next chapter. Keep it up!.

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I really like both the premise and the writing of this game, and I have fun playing as the young Lordslayer. :blush:

But, is the MC forced to be heterosexual?
It definitely feels that way for me, what with the Isabel/Asbel switch, and the focus on Eden’s beauty for a male MC (which felt rather awkward and over the top for me, as an asexual person who usually play as gay or pan characters).

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@Vattena Oh boy… That’s a lot of feedback to take in :smile: I’ll reply to you in detail later. Now, let me address the other replies first.

@Shin_Lee

surprise

@REAP Appreciate it! :blush:

@The_Lady_Luck First of all, thank you for the kind words :blush:

No, the MC is not forced to be heterosexual. I left the choices regarding the MC’s sexual orientation undecided to make it so that readers or players can figure it out for themselves which RO is suitable for them.

Yeah I noticed it too. Maybe its because of my personal influence as the writer which may unconsciously be biased based on my personal point of view. For example, when writing the story, I often would only picture the MC as a male as it was easier for me to write than if the MC was a female. The same logic would then apply when in terms of sexual orientation or preference. (I’m straight, btw.)

Believe me when I say that I’m not trying to push my personal view point or preference on life when writing my story. It’s just that I find it hard to write about stuff that I’m not familiar about. I am trying though. I’m completely closed off to the idea and concept of the MC being a gay or pan in that regards.

Sorry if it comes up as way over the top to you. But, their switchable position based on the MC’s gender is entirely based on story purposes.

I guess maybe I did wen’t a bit overboard with that one particular scene :sweat_smile:. Thing is, beauty is often subjective and its always different depending on the person. With Eden, I want to point out that her beauty is objective. It was not based on opinion but rather facts that everyone around her would agree to.

I designed her to be this sister type character that seemed perfect on the outside. You know, got them looks and grace, but when confronted on a personal level she would reveal her true self which most people would agree to be undesirable. :smile:

Again, sorry if you felt awkward reading through her scenes. It was not my intent to make you feel that way :frowning:.

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Go me!! :smile: :smile:

In a way, yes. But I think most ideas often started with a concept or a specific scene. In my case it was both.

I know, chapter one is extremely linear. There were not that many branching patch to choose when compared to the prologue. Basically, chapter one is just character introductions, and exposition. about the setting. I figured that I don’t want to just shotgun my characters onto the player’s face and develop them later. So I decided that I would take my time and introduce them one by one, giving them small character arcs in bits and pieces scattered around.

Basing my judgement from your feedback… I could assume that my idea worked?? I guess… :no_mouth: Did I do good? I wish i do good lol. :sweat_smile:

Shoot. I’m sorry… my bad. I retconned her character on the previous update. :neutral_face:

Now, she’s supposed to be older than and that makes her to be your older sister, instead. I did this after realizing how her being younger than you really screwed up the plans I had for her.

I should’ve probably listed it on the previous update log… :frowning:

I am so… glad you clicked with her character. i’m afraid that most people would find her to be out-shined by the other characters that are also introduced :smile:

Also that bit about reading too much into it… :wink:

So far, there are 3 already introduced ROs

  • Asbel/Isabel (switchable)
  • Sigmund
  • Eden

But, here’s the thing. I’m not going to focus that deep in the romance territory. Rest assured, there will be romance (and some might even went as far as to affect how the main story played out) It’s just that-- how do I explain this… :thinking:

Okay, I’m going to get a little bit nerdy here. Are any of you guys here familiar with the Persona or Kiseki series? It’s a J-rpg (which I am a huge fan of). So, on those games exist this, kind of mechanic where you’d hangout with other characters on your free time to increase the rank of your relationship with said character. With each and every moment you spent with the characters the more you’ll learn about them. Basically the more you hangout the closer your bond becomes.

I wan’t to incorporate similar mechanic like that into this WIP. I planned to have it so that every once in awhile you guys will have a freeroam section where you get to choose which character you’d want to hangout with. And it’s going to be limited. Like, lets say you get to choose 3 character (I have a decently massive character roster planned up) for every section.

That’s the gist of it I guess… I’ll go into more detail when I’ve fully realized the mechanic.Until then, hope this clarified something about the romance :blush:.

I’d love to if you could just PM it to me. Wouldn’t want my small audience to notice the imperfections on my writing :tired_face::tired_face::tired_face:

Thank you for the long and detailed feedback. It really helped a lot!! :hugs::hugs:

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I am very happy to hear that, and I like that way of handling it. :blush:
The lack of info on possible RO’s, other than the ones I mentioned, had me worried.

And I have no problem with the switch, it’s just a little worrying, when that’s the only info you have.

It definitely read more as sexual attraction to me.
But I’m probably biased, as the more I know someone, the less I notice their attractiveness, so I would never think about how beautiful someone I know well is.
I have no idea if that’s normal or not. :expressionless:

Maybe think about whether a straight male MC would describe an attractive male the same way? :thinking:
If that seems weird to you, it’s probably not objective beauty you are describing. (I know that method is flawed, in that it’s more socially acceptable to notice female beauty, than male, but it’s the best idea I have.)
EDIT: You can also show NPC’s reacting to her looks.

People, as far as I know, expect characters to be attractive if not shown or told otherwise, so we don’t actually have to do a lot to confirm this bias.
You can be fairly subtle, or matter-of-fact about it, and still get the point across.
Before I realised that, I would totally go completely overboard describing a character’s attractiveness, because I wanted the reader to get it, dammit!
In hindsight, the POV characters probably came off rather obsessed. :sweat_smile:

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That actually good idea :thinking: it does give player chance to warm up with the characters. And yes, your idea certainly working :slightly_smiling_face:

Huh, that explain why she’s like that toward MC :laughing:

I actually found her character are the most fleshed out at the current demo, but this may just me.

:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

What do you mean by switchable? :thinking:

Ah that! I like the freeroam idea, but it seems will difficult to code.

Will do :slightly_smiling_face: it will take time for me to able report it, unfortunately :sweat_smile:

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I loved what i’ve seen so far! The characters, the setting…
and I thought MC kinda felt like batman which is super cool.
Good luck im excited too see the ful game ! :grin:

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Tbh, I don’t know about that as well :smile:.

I think that’s completely normal. One would call it admiration, maybe? :thinking:

In fact, I have one character that I designed to be this laid-back, casanova dude which would often be described as attractive by both male or female due to his appearance and personality.

Wow… That’s a good point. I’ve learned something today :smile:

Thank you for this thoughtful discussion, btw. It’s fun to talk about topics like this!

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