Fool's Fantasy [WiP] (CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED! UPDATED: 24/01/18)

heroic-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

Hello there,

I’ve been a huge fan of choice of game’s interactive novel for quite some time now. I remember reading through A Study in Steampunk over the weekend and being immersed to such extend which a regular novel is rarely able to achieve. So, after some hard brainstorming I’ve decided to create my own, very first interactive novel. Do, note that I am a complete noob at this and I am not a native english speaker myself. The country where I live in only has english as its second language. So expect some improper writing and grammatical error in the demo presented bellow. :slight_smile:

**Summary**

Miracles. The gift bestowed upon us by the gods above.

Humanity has achieved many great things utilizing the full capability of this gift. Farmers, performing miracles to cultivate the land and accelerate the growth rate of their harvest. Builders, lifting huge chunks of materials with ease. And Doctors, performing what is known before as impossible.

Such wonderful gift does not come without a price. Deep within the streets, thieves are chased while walking through the air. Murderers, killing relentlessly without even wielding weapon. And terrorist, causing terror by conjuring high temperature flame out of thin air; burning everything in its path.

There are always two sides in a coin. What was once considered as a gift, is now antagonized by some with a different point of view. Lindmont Empire is in the middle of it all. Being the country with the most diverse population and a monarchy governmental system being led by the new young Emperor, an intense story about revenge, romance, and politics are about to unfold!

You are an apertus, a person who wields multiple faiths. A person with no origin, a grave-walker sworn to bring justice to your personal vendetta.

Glide under the night sky as the famous vigilante and wander through the day as noble successor to one of the most influential house in Lindmont Empire. Will you prove your point through actions? or will you dance in the palm of politics? Will you tear down the empire? or will you be the new savior and lead the waves of revolution?

You find yourself inside a duke’s mansion. The scenery from the beautifully lit streets of Edenfair is present outside from the window in this three-story tall mansion. One objective is currently present in your mind. The man present before you in his chamber is pleading for his life. Corpses of his two guards are laying prone on the expensive carpet; bathing in their own pool of blood. You are here to murder the duke.

**Features**

Fool’s Fantasy is a story and concept that I have develop throughout my new freshmen’s life in uni now! Up until this point, here are some of the feature present or planned for the further development of this side project of mine:

  • An engaging story of revenge, drama, romance, and politics.

  • Set in a world where everyone is basically a freaking wizzard

  • A deep ability mechanic called “Allegiance/faith” towards a certain god(s) or deity(ies) from various mythology found around the world to compliment combat gameplay and stat scaling.

  • Deep combat/battle options to choose.

  • Character stats which includes, Combat mastery, Agility, Wisdom, Charisma, and Observation.

  • Play as a young man or woman driven by a personal motivation to uncover the truth around your personal life and the world around you.

  • Several RO’s to choose from! (with 2 or 3 of them present in the current state of demo)

**In depth explanation/FAQ's regarding the miracle system**

The concept of religion differs on this world. Here it is treated as some sort of a allegiance to certain god(s) or deity(ies). The majority of citizens can perform this so called miracles (Basically everyone is a wizard).

Eg.

  • People under the Thor’s faith can perform the miracle of electricity and polarity
  • People under the Faith of Agni can conjure up flames from thin air.
  • Farmers are generally under the Faith of Demeter, the goddess of harvest. The miracle to cultivate the land and accelerates harvest growth rate.

How can a person enter or get an allegiance?
The gods and diety themself decide this. Only those that are deemed worth can have faith.

Can you control this miracle?
Yes. The ability to control how one perform their miracles differs for each individuals. The greater the faith, the greater the miracle.

How can you distinguish different faiths?
Each faith has a crest or insignia. Upon gaining faith, the crest of that particular deity will be engraved to the left dorsal hand.

Several customs around Lindmont Empire

  • Many people use gloves only in their left hand to hide their crest.
  • The loss of a person’s left arm can banish the ties they have to the gods. Thus, preventing them from using any miracle. (Basically, if the crest is somehow detached you lose the ability to perform miracles regarding that faith)

Can a person have 2 or more allegiance with the gods?
Yes. These people are whats called “Apertus”. It generally describes a person with multiple faiths. Other than the left dorsal hand, the crest can also be engraved in right dorsal hand.

DEMO:

WARNING Expect many explicit violence from the demo. You have been warned. I would like it if you don’t make complain about it.

Give my demo a try! => https://dashingdon.com/play/kuroporu/fools-fantasy/mygame/index.php?cb=37296

I am currently busy at uni. I’ll do my best to keep updates happen monthly (may vary according to how busy I am)

Demo is around 24k word long including:

  • Prologue: A Wonderful Night (completed)
  • Chapter One: Flown Too Close to The Sun (completed)
  • Chapter Two: (In progress)
**DEMO UPDATE LOG**

[12/11/17]
Added gender-choice, fixed minor issues and bugs, and revised some of logical inconsistencies.
[26/11/17]
Added first draft of chapter one (Well, 75% of it :expressionless:), fixes, and chapter headers!
[24/01/18]
Chapter one completed

What I’m looking for
I’m looking for a general feedback regarding everything this novel has to offer so far. Critiques and Opinions are welcomed~ Feel free to discuss and ask questions about anything! and I mean anything, from the logical consistency, confusing story aspects, etc.

Also, I am fairly new to the community at this point! I’ve lurked around for quite some time now and know like the basic term or stuff that are present here. SO, I’ll be looking forward for advice and guidance in the future! :smiley:

[Edited on 25/01/18: Improved main thread.]


#2

haven’t play it, but im looking forward to it tho


#3

I’m confused about the idea of the story I read it and couldent understand it


#4

I like the fact that basically everyone has some sort of power but the title confuses me will the reason its called the Fool’s Fantasy be explained later on?


#5

Oh? This should prove to be an entertaining read.


#6

Is the demo suppose to stop at “Interested”? Because there is a loading issue after that.

I like this one! I loved how brutal you could be.


#7

I check the codes and it is the end.


#8

Which part do you find confusing?? :confused: Could you explain it to me further?


#9

@CultOfCthulhu Thank you for the feedback! To answer your question, Yes. The exact meaning behind the title will be revealed as the story further develops. I could however say that “the fool” referenced in the title is the PC itself who has an allegiance(or in his word… a curse) with a certain playful god in his right hand. Giving him an extremely useful ability to bend reality but at the cost of his sanity in the process.

You can see this yourself in the stat screen. The name of this particular god at the point is still kept hidden for the reader. Although, if look through the code, you can see who it is I guess :smile:

@tooweiss Glad you like what I has to offer :wink:

Yes, I was wondering about that myself actually and I don’t exactly know why it happened. :confused:
So far, It doesn’t pose any problem because it is intended to be the ending for the prologue though.

@Logan3000x I don’t even know you could check the codes…lol :neutral_face:

Forgive me for the extremely late replies. I immediately went to sleep right after posting this :blush:


#10

like how this story play out


#11

Nice Wip, I’m imterested.


#12

I think i found an error ? But the demo is really nice! You’ve done a good job on this.


#13

@Takashi_Shin @augustus27 Thanks! Care to give some thoughts and suggestions?

@shiaya Ah… yes. My bad, I typed in the wrong variable there. I will work on it immediately! :thinking:


#14

You have my attention.

Bug?


Not sure, if I’m the only one, but this glitched?


#15

Your attention is all I ever wished for lol.


#16

that’s all? that’s the ending? why you have to end it at a cliffhanger?! so what 's going to happen next to the main character? and what about the romance? sorry for spamming you with a ton of question mate


#17

@Orpheuss Glad to hear you like it!

Up next, for chapter one, the party is going to take place. You’re going to be able to spend the day being the noble successor that you are. I’m thinking about letting you–the reader–decide what to do during the day. Such activities may include, spending time with the characters, delve into the local politics, and maybe doing some side quests. While, the main conflict will still be the party happening. I’m planning to give some exposition about your condition and how you got to where you are in the first place.

As the reader, is there any particular suggestion as to what should happen to the pc next? I’m always open for it. I have mostly planned the story all the way to the end. But still, some suggestions could help.

I’m working on it! :smiley:
Currently, I’m working on patching the prologue to fix minor issues and the bug mentioned by @Umbreonpanda and @tooweiss.

I’m still conflicted about whether I should enable gender-choice or not :confused: If I DO decides to do so, then I think I might need to make some changes in the RO characters. Idk. Expect an update in the following weekend!


#18

Oh Dear, i think the reason why this DEMO is called Fool’s Fantasy is because only a “Fool” would have a “Fantasy” about killing an Emperor in his own party with soo many powerful nobles around him. I would never risk my life if i were the character.

This is a Theory my Friend.

(A theory of mine: The character will fail trying to kill the “Emperor”)


#19

@Lufsty Let’s just say… you’re not entirely wrong about it


#20

Oh no…

And why excactly is Nicolas Cage winking?