I am working on a high fantasy game. The idea as it goes right now is that there’s an introduction and three short narratives that can be completed in any order, then an interlude, then three more short narratives that can be completed in any order, then the climax and epilogue. As of right now, its rough and broken, but I wanted people to look at it and say what they liked, so I have made this thread.
The description I wrote for the game on DashingDon is “A sect of highly trained warriors in service to a powerful king, Emissaries pride themselves on their dual commitment to honor and duty. But it’s a duty that isn’t frequently glorious, and a profession more decorated in blood than honor.” If anyone wants a more in depth detailed or description, I will try to reply promptly.
It seems like no matter what, the MC starts with quite a bit of fame. That said, kinda diggin it so far, though I would prefer a more in-depth skill set than “pick one thing to excel at” as I tend to prefer managing an array. Also, was very surprised to see neither horsemanship nor lore among the “main skills”
The quite a bit a fame might be given to you on accident, it could be under one of the non-choice options. I wrote some of this a while back, and have only recently returned to it, so it might also be on purpose for some reason but I forgot why.
As for skills, I settled on these five on the main skills after deliberation, as they seemed stuff a super-warrior-esque character needed to be good at. I meant horsemanship in the tertiary skills in the almanac. Do you think the five I have should be changed?
Bear in mind that my guesses are just a way of communicating expectations. When I see courier I think “messenger”, and knowing how to get to your destination (geography, navigation, horsemanship) and how to understand and deliver messages (history, diplomacy) seem far and away the most relevant skills to me.
The other skills seem like great things to avoid misfortune, but, with the exception of diplomacy, they would be luxuries.
–I get you. I figured I’d end up revealing a lot of it as intuitive to the character, rather than something you as the player have to choose to be good at. Because it would be weird for a messenger to not know how to read a map.
That makes sense. My advice would just be a small bit of flavor tweaking in the description. The skill you pick as a courier is what sets you apart, or is a chosen specialization in addition to the primary skills, but is currently described as the main focus of a courier.
Color me intrigued. This is an interesting premise, and it seems well executed thus far. I did find encounter an error, however. When Teilin demands you identify yourself, telling his subordinates to get out resulted in an error. Other than that, this seems great.
Thank you.
And yeah, unfortunately there’s probably going to be a lot of those random ones, and it’ll take me a while to work them all out. Super incomplete at the moment, thanks for letting me know.
Interesting so far. Character construction seems a bit awkward, which wasn’t helped by the use of third person while selecting mc’s gender. That confused me; I didn’t realise it was the MC until next scene. I had a few pronoun bugs (female refered to as male). And hit a few programming glitches, but only remembered to get the one screen shot.
Enjoy the story this is pretty much talking about people who had to do the Dirty Work and the gruesome training they had go through if I’m going for the Assassin roll
Ranger’s Apprentice was one of the inspirations. It fits into the whole orphan-becomes-a-badass trope.
@Steph_Banks That’s alright, there’s a lot of bugs anyway, everything’s messed up like twenty ways. The female being referred as male isn’t a bug, but rather me making a mistake when writing. The construction’s how it is because I wanted it to feel like the story flowed into it, but I can see it being confusing, almost deliberately so.
@Takashi_Shin Once it gets longer hopefully like if your Emissary ends up as a hardcore murderer, I can make stuff like that more apparent.
@Manaxaggd It’s gonna stay as third person. Most of the stories are first/second person and I wanted to do something different, sorry it confused you though.
