Perhaps the opening scene detailing the history of the Valtnar and the Altim can be moved up a bit, perhaps during a history lesson during the protagonist’s childhood to spread out the exposition. The following text with Danric and his friend seems unecessary, but it feels like it’ll be important later, so maybe it can be shortened.
Why do you ask “do you have a second weakness?”? Not to seem rude, but why in the world would we want more than one bad thing about us?
@13ventrm
I have to agree, it really didn’t seem so bad when I was reading it on my computer but I checked it out on my phone and starting scrolling down the page…and kept scrolling… damn when does this thing end. 
But I certainly have to figure out a way to get the player up to speed enough with the world and not subject them to this massive wall of text. Thanks for the comments vent, I really appreciate the feedback I’ve received from those on these forums. The text with Munro I really don’t see as too much, but what I will do is throw in a *page_break between it and your family arriving at the naming ceremony.
Just to keep you guys in the loop with how development is going…
This week was a little rough as the stomach flu hit the family and myself like a ton of bricks, but I’ve been plugging away at the stat screens for the game and writing some of the background checks and coding. I am very anxious to continue writing the story and get another little update out, so I think I’ll wait to finish some of the programming and work on getting some more of the story down this weekend. So, for those of you that are interested I will try to have you an update by Sunday…fingers crossed.
@Epicazeroth
If you end up taking the second weakness then your weaknesses are spread and less severe than if you only took one.
I wish you much luck and perserverance, I liked what you have so far to the point where I don’t want this to end up yet another forgotten unfinished game.
@Rob
I guess that makes sense.
@Rob get well soon. I can’t wait for the next update i can’t wait to see what you updated and done with story i hope we get have more family drama with Danir so much fun.
@13ventrm
Thank you don’t worry Ive had this general story rolling around in my head for a very long time and I’m just so excited to have finally found a medium that is both fun and interactive to present it in. though its quite a bit of work, I’m having a blast making this game
@xPoisonThornx
Thank you I really appreciate that, I’m back in fighting form now and looking forward to getting some more of the story written. I have a bunch of drama planned it’s going to feel like youre a kardashian or something
@Rob sound very dramatic and fun and i wanted ask do you have/use twitter at all for when your about update your demo/games ?
@xPoisonThornx
What is this twitter thing you’re referring to? Unfortunately no I don’t have a twitter account. Maybe that will be something I will look into, I do post on this thread when I have an update ready. Barring any unforeseen events I should have an update for you tomorrow. Much of what I have completed since the last update has not extended the story, but I have two nearly complete and functional stat screens and some of the checks that will be going on in the background have been written. But for the next two days I will be concentrating on getting some more story down and choices completed. As always thank you for your interest Thorn.
Rob. When child born please limit. The what baby lookm like to,skin,birthmark, and eye color.
@Rob i was about to type out how can you not know about twitter haha :-)) , and your welcome i love all CoG :X . i spend way to much time playing them i am just glad i found some new one to play. whilst some one make a part three of affairs of court and choice of Vampire those are my favorite CoG and i bet your will be when its all done and everything.
Well, Sunday came and went with no update to the game. I had high hopes about moving the story on, but after loading up the game and trying a couple of playthroughs I discovered some of the feature I was trying to implement just were not working as intended. Unfortunately, I had invested a substantial amount of time into trying to get these functions to work (which frankly were cool but really added nothing to the story, or were a significant improvement to the gameplay) So, back to the drawing board it was, I reevaluated what I was trying to do and realized that I need to refocus my energy on the story. I’ve added several new scenes and tried to tighten up existing ones, as a result I’ve released a small update on the website. If you guys would like to check it out I suggest when you get to the option to choose how you’d like to spend your early spring day that you choose the hiking option. It’s the only one that is for the most part finished (though I’ve played it and realized I need to do some editing to it, and perhaps add another choice or two). I hope you enjoy the game and as always, I would genuinely appreciate any feedback you’d be willing to provide. As always thanks so much for your support and interest in this project.
@Rob Really like the update you’ve done. i like how your character can swing the rattle at people made me giggle to try and hit Danir. can’t not wait for the next update keep up the amazing work you done so far 
i love the choices that you added it is seems tp be leading to something really surprising
Looks good so far.
Yay! Hitting people is a good thing!
…It probably won’t be after you grow up and stop being cute.
…And when the thing you’re hitting with is a sword.
Awesome, looking forward to this!
@Bagelthief
Thank you very much for taking the time to play through my game, and leaving your comments here. I’m glad you enjoyed what I have so far, I am excited to release the next installment, I am hoping I can get it out by Sunday. *Fingers crossed*
its sunday:P the exitement was killing me
Is it out?
The update?