Definitely like this one!
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Even with only the first chapter done I’m really liking the story.
I think the concept is great and your writing style and storytelling so far are excellent.
I’m looking forward to seeing more!
Idk about everyone else, but i liked Pan. I kind of like Lys less (though i like her, too!) because of her obvious anger issues. Pan seems more level headed, which i appreciate in people.
Also nice to see that Pan has two moms!
Was crushing on Donni hardcore from the moment I saw him, but convinced myself he wouldn’t be. So happy I was wrong.
5 Likes
don’t get me wrong I do like pan but he will just get in my way of romanceing Lys so its better to sacrifice him now so nothing stands between me and her
Is there anyway to apprentice under Donni? @Stormheart
A mixed tribe of werewolves and humans how would that even work i could not see humans trusting werewolves.
I started play and forgot it was only chapter 1 in a half done. I’ll be looking forward to what happened next keep up the good work 
Very interesting! I do appreciate the fact that even though I chose not to be a werewolf, it didn’t feel like the wrong choice or like I’d be at a disadvantage in some way.
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Love it! It’s really cool~ Werewolves & magic! Good mix! Usually you can only pick one or the other. I’m glad you can do both. Then there’s also the different forms. So glad we can pick.
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This was sooo good! I can’t wait to read more!
Thanks for all your kind words!! They’ll really keep me going as I struggle with the current part of chapter 2. I sort of wrote myself into a corner involving 12 choices that are a little over 2k words each, and it’s been a bit of a nightmare trying to get through them all. 
But I’m determined to get it done!
@Isabella_Taylor Yes, I’m going to be working on a save system asap. This game is too big and diverse not to have one already. And yes, all of the mage-type classes have mandatory magick training at one point, so shamans will get magick even if you don’t focus on it right away. 
@SuperNova There’s not currently a way to apprentice under Donni, because he’s more of a friend/companion to the MC than a mentor, but he might teach you some things if you get your relationship up high enough with him! This goes for basically any of the companions in later chapters.
Also so glad that at least some of you are liking Pan. My poor boy! 
And I’m pretty sure I got the save thing figured out! Hopefully that helps with testing/other run-throughs!
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Hi, I’m actually quite new to the forum and not one to usually post anything, but I just want to say that I enjoyed the story so far! The premise, characters, choices are all very interesting 
I’m excited about being a werewolf and wielding magick, and I adore the siblings haha. Your writing style is also very nice.
And I love Pan! Surprised many people prefer Lys, she’s kinda too expressive for me haha. What’s with her excitement and anger and all, too hyper lol. As a friend she’s fine though. I can’t wait to meet other ROs 
Just wondering, do you already have basics of chapters planned? Like, the outline of what happened in what chapter, the approx. number of chapters, things like that. Sorry if this is a weird question to ask, haha.
Looking forward to more of the story, and all the best with your writing! 
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Welcome to the forums! Everyone is very friendly here! Glad you’re enjoying the story!
I do have a pretty extensive outline already done for the entire game, and know exactly how many chapters the game will end up being. I sort of have an internal wiki system for myself so that I can look up information in case I forget anything, too!
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Awww
well…poor Lys…in a blink she could lose everything 
Btw…thanx for letting us choose the parents…I could cry at being able to choose 2 mama or 2 dadda 
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I don’t think you have to worry about Lys, hehe! 
She’s pretty well liked!
And you’re more than welcome! The parents are some of the favorite bits that I’ve written so far, so I’m glad that people appreciate being able to choose! Especially the less orthodox ones!
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well liked…aside , I’m talking from a story perspective…
she lost her ma…and could lose her da…and could lose herself as well…
its heartbreaking!
Pan is good too , though at first I wasnt sure…on one head he is your levelled kid…quiet…shy…basheful…and sometimes he is a little devil toward Lys…make me raise an eyebrow…I’m like if you cant handle her personality…why are you poking that fire for ? 
well…I personally can see my old self more in Lys…minus the anger issue she has…but the spitfire personality-hyperactive- stuff? yup…
question: why is everyone tired though? and napping in the day…is that a wolfie thing?
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Haha yeah, from what I’ve read people seems nice. It’s just me, I’m a rather anxious person and don’t socialize much, I’m not comfortable with public thing haha. Forum is public so, yeah 
Anyway, thank you for replying haha. That’s pretty impressive! How long have you planned for this story? And if you don’t mind me asking, about how many chapters will the story be?
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Just had a play chief and I am definitely interested, especially in that job and class system at the end.
Werewolves are especially very cool and vampires are for nerds.
Though I do have one B I G issue with chapter one.
We are playing an 11 or so year old who is most likely beginning to experience some of the annoyances of puberty and the general stupidity that comes with it, but I instead feel like I’m playing Commander Sheperd.
The dialogue options in chapter one feel like I’m at a minimum age of like 17, it does not feel like a kid.
It gets better in the story itself but I think almost all of the dialogue options felt very bizarre and way too mature.
Luz: “Yay everyone we are gonna get training so-“
Me: “WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE REAPERS.
Besides that though I did like what was there, even if at times I didn’t really know what was going on but that’s probably my bad since I was skim reading a bit since… dem be some big walls of text.
But again I am intrigued and hope this story does good.
The ability to go insane at some point would also be quite amusing.
And when it comes to dicey themes such as physical and mental abuse, personally I would desire it my good friend so be as fucked up as you please!
~Love, Nanachi <3
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@E_RedMark That’s why the MC and Pan are so important to Lys! She’s already lost so much, and stands to lose much more if she’s not careful! As for the napping, some of the mentors/parents are overworked and just require that little bit of extra sleep when they can get it!
@Saiyuki I’m actually super anxious, too! It took me forever just to post this topic, but I did it. I’m glad you posted some feedback despite that! 
I’ve planned the story out for the better part of 2 years now with a little bit of writing during that time. I currently have it planned to be 10 chapters in length!
@LordNanachi I did struggle a bit with making some of the dialogue options seem age-appropriate, though I tried my best. Puberty was never going to be an issue since I do a time skip in chapter 2, though I see where you’re coming from. I did kind of want to make MC mature for their age (along with Pan—Lys less so), so maybe I succeeded? I dunno. Thank you for your input! Oh, and also I do plan on letting you play as a bad guy (which makes MC seem a bit crazy) so long as you make the right choices, so there’s that…
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Doing a substantially younger or older age group in writing is always hard but for Lyz and Pan I think you did well, Pan feels mature but not infallible, and Lyz is Lyz.
However the MC feels kind of like a robot at times, or dead inside like good ol’ “WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE REAPERS!?” Sheperd.
If you make the MC less in control of their emotions in Chappy one I feel like that would help.
Since for instance during the
Spoilers Normies
Fight at the end with random dude guy who uses blood magic, he is kind of a massive cunt during the whole thing and even blames your friend for getting hurt, hell I was surprised I didn’t get 4 options of various ways that my character could tantrum at him.
The option to thank him for his help was especially weird, since while he did definitely help, even the adults were done with his shit let alone the 11 year old MC who is having their dying friend shit talked.
Also the option to say that the only reason she isn’t dead is because of them feels a bit out of place since it resembles an angry adult instead of a “Is gonna need therapy for the rest of their lives” child.
So yeah that’s some more in depth reasonings as to why stuff felt wacky but if you want I can go proper in depth as to why each scene that bugged me bugged me. And the more in depth I go the more useful the info will therefore be but it’s up to you.
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