A Veil of Rain (WIP - Updated 24/09)

gender-choice

#1

This is a reboot/rework of my previous WIP, Rainvale, because I wasn’t very happy with it, and I decided to take some time out to refine the details, and ended up making it almost entirely different. Things are still subject to change, like the title for example, which I don’t really like, but I literally couldn’t think of anything else.

Summary
There was once a time when Rainvale was just a regular town, though that’s hard to imagine when you look at it nowadays. Known as the “supernatural capital of the world”, the recent increase in supernatural activity has made it difficult to leave and enter the town, and it’s also made a lot more work for the Rainvale Supernatural Detective Squad. You’re the newest addition to the team, which must be very exciting. Just try not to think about the fact that one of the detectives recently disappeared. I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

Characters

Rainvale Supernatural Detective Squad
Chief Shay Bishop set up the squad four years ago so that there would be a group specifically focussed on investigating supernatural related crimes. She’s strict and straitlaced, but she cares for her team. She does handpick each detective, after all.

Ozwin Stanton, the longest serving detective, having been there from the start, and technically the veteran, despite also being the youngest on the team. He’s well known for being a good detective, and also known for having a somewhat difficult personality and strained relationship with a lot of the town’s residents. He’s also your new partner, so good luck with that.

Dr Marina Ford moved from Louisiana and joined the police force, because she just loves helping people. She’s kind and cheery almost all the time, which might annoy some people, but a small ray of sun can’t hurt.

Gabriel Beck, a former lawyer, if you can believe that after meeting him. Some might call him adorkable, and others might say he’s irritating. Regardless, he knows the law better than the others, and he’s partnered with Marina, who has the patience of a saint.

Sunshine Segal. You need weapons, someone to fight for you, or just someone to be intimidating, Sunshine’s your girl. She’s fairly relaxed when not working a case, and in the absence of Chief Bishop, she keeps the rest in order.

Other Important Characters
Ariel Washington, member of the esteemed Washington family, a family (or cult) of vampires, though he’s still human, and also the son of Lord and Lady Washington. A carefree young man who seeks excitement, it should come as no surprise that when he crosses paths with the detectives, he decides to stick around.

Chloe/Cole Sutcliffe. Your friend. Whether you’ve known each other since you were children, or you met in high school or college, they’ve been a good friend to you. Maybe you’re closer than ever, or perhaps you’ve grown apart, but you know that you can depend on them.

The Missing Detective, Jonathan Wilde. You’d never really heard of him until you joined the team. He’s been gone for two months, after he briefly went undercover and never reported back. From what little you’ve heard, he was quite a secretive and mysterious person, and it’s a tad suspicious that the other detectives aren’t actively searching for him. It’s something to think about. Or not.

ROs
Gabriel and Sunshine are available to a MC of any gender, Marina is exclusively female, Ariel is exclusively male, and Chloe/Cole is dependent on your sexuality.

Oz was originally going to be an RO, available only to male MCs, but I’ve taken him out. If you have any opinion on that, do let me know.

Content Warnings: Bad language, mild suggestive content, alcohol and drug references, adult themes and emotions, and others to be added at a later date if necessary.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/shield619/a-veil-of-rain/mygame/index.php?cb=45140

I’ll be honest upfront and say that a fair bit of this isn’t planned out, as I prefer to let my stories grow organically as I write them, which normally works for me. What I’m basically saying is that any of this could change at any point, but I’ll keep you updated on any of that. Thanks for taking a look at this, and feedback/suggestions/absolutely anything is very welcome ^-^


Rainvale - (WIP) Update 15/08
#2

This sounds cool I also happen to writing detective stuff “The adventures of Pinkerton Gumshoe”


#3

This sounds good I’m interested


#4

Guess I’ll have to call my MC something different than Gabriel, this time around.
It’s my usual goto male name for modern/futuristic settings.

Looking forward to try the demo!


#5

I think it’s better to ask @moderators to close the old one so this not going to count as spam. Also, looking forward to the demo :slight_smile:


#6

I’m also looking forward to seeing what you come up with. I hope the story is more manageable now with a slightly smaller cast, and I am eager to see the story in its new iteration.


#7

Thanks for all the comments! I’m coming up with lots of ideas for this, though writing it will be a different matter, but I’m excited to get back to work on it once I’ve finished up a few other things.

I have a question for you all regarding Oz as an RO. I won’t make him a proper one, that would mess with a lot of things, but you’ll spend quite a lot of time with Oz in the game, and you can choose whether your MC completely hates him or wants to be his best friend, so what would you think about being able to have unrequited feelings for him? There’s a lot I think I can do with that, so would it interest anyone? Or should I just leave it as is? It’ll mean a little more work for me if I put it in, so that’s why I wanted to ask first.


#8

I think as long as it’s clear to the player that he won’t be a romance option, adding an option to have unrequited feelings may be fun to have. I always like fun choices in game, and I think anything that can help add more characterization or freedom for the MC is always a plus.

Having said that, even if you make it clear, I think you might get some people that get upset about not having him. I’m not sure you want to open that door for people to try to pressure you into adding him as a full-fledged romance. So you’ll need to keep that in mind. Also, deciding if the unrequited love will affect any romances should be something to think about as well. For instance, will the other characters be able to see how your MC suffers and would that affect the romance that may (or may not, depending on if the RO would want to get involved with someone who obviously pines for someone else) take place?

Wow. This ended up much longer than I thought it would. LOL
Those are my two cents on the situation. :sunglasses:


#9

Thanks for your thoughts!

It’d be fairly obvious in the story that he’s not interested, and the reason why would be revealed early on, but acknowledgement of the feelings and the let down wouldn’t happen until later, but you could choose to back out of the path after the reveal.

People being annoyed or upset about not actually being able to be with him is my main concern, because I can certainly understand that, but I feel like it could be interesting, because I don’t think I’ve ever really seen it done in a game before. As for the other ROs, there’d be two you could still romance if you went down this path, and they’re Ariel and Chloe/Cole. The other characters might notice the situation, depending on how obvious or subtle you are. Also, choosing this path would unlock more content with another character who would be minor otherwise, in order to compensate for the absence of romance scenes.

Sorry if this seems a little disjointed, you had some very good points and I was trying to address all of them.


#10

Ok, no offense but it is IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone! There will always be at least one person that doesn’t like what you do in the story. The important thing about writing is to write for yourself first, and for others second. Or at least that’s my philosophy :grin:.

Honestly? This doesn’t affect me too much since originally you made him only romancable for guys, and I always play as a girl… However, it is a pretty good idea and I kind of wish I could see where it goes. I, personally, would like to see the unrequited love happen. It’s interesting because, like you I have never seen it done before and would like to see how it plays out :slight_smile:.


#11

When I’m writing my regualr stories, that’s absolutely my mind set, I write for myself and no one else, but when it’s something I’m actually sharing, it’s a little different. I just really want people to like it

I was considering having the unrequited option open for female MCs. I’m still tossing the idea around in my head, mostly just wondering if it’s something I’d actually want to write because, confession time, I find writing female characters and relationships a little difficult.

But yeah, I think the idea is something I can have a lot of fun with. Plus it gives me a chance to write more Oz, and he’s one of my all-time favourite characters I’ve created, and there’s a lot of stiff competition :grin:


#12

Cool. I really liked the last one, so I’m eager to see what you do with this.


#13

The demo is finally done! And when I say finally done, I mean I’ve only just written it :sweat_smile: I’ve been very distracted by writing my fantasy series, which I’m still doing, so it’ll continue to distract me. I actually toyed around with the idea of making a game based of my fantasy series, which I may do, because I’m sort of obsessed with it at the moment. Hopefully after this game is finished first.

Anyway, there’s not a huge amount to the demo, it’s mainly just an introduction to the detectives, but I hope you enjoy what’s there, and as always, I adore feedback. Thanks very much for being patient with me! ^-^


#14

I like this, the detective’s seem interesting. It has a lot of potential.


#15

It’s pretty good so far.


#16

There’s not really much to give feedback on as the demo is super short. Are you planning to add more soon? The first demo you did really gave more of an idea of what was going on and who these characters were.

Also, just a note, being 30 or older does not make someone instantly “old.” Considering a lot detectives are in their mid-20’s (at the earliest) to when they get the job (at least in the US), I think it’s an odd age to single out. After all, the MC might be over 30, so I would expect an option to say something about that. If you’re trying to allude to the common ages of everyone there, I might try to find a different way to do that. :wink:

What did actually peak my curiosity is when Gabriel said he got “the dreaded call.” Therefore, I would be very interested in finding out more about how these detectives actually become a detective—especially as it seems that they don’t have to come from law enforcement (which is a little odd). Is it mandatory? Is it voluntary? What determines a candidate? :thinking:


#17

Thanks, there will be more added soon… maybe :sweat_smile: The old thing is just a joke between the two characters, it’s nothing to do with what I actually think. As for you other point, those things will be answered eventually.


#18

Don’t worry. I didn’t think you were passing judgment. :slightly_smiling_face: But I am wondering just how experienced all of these people are if they are so “young.” :wink:

I look forward to seeing what else you release.


#19

As an Old (read: 33) who works with a bunch of youths (late 20-somethings), I can verify that this exchange is 100% accurate


#20

I already love Oz! Wish he were a romance option, he’d definitely be my choice! :blush: