@cottage14 I’ll fix it in the next version unless you find another path I haven’t properly blocked off. In that case I’ll have to do some more emergency reconstruction.
Most of the choices beyond the monotonous days at the castle seem to be closed off. Are those all in construction or have I just not met the requirements yet?
Same, RagEgnite.
Going through some of the stories I can’t help but feel they all move a little fast. I don’t get much time to care/feel for anything before it already ends. I guess I’m saying the pacing feels a little off to me. My best example comes with being the Emperors mistress and killing both your brothers.
A couple of comments on this game:
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I don’t feel like I’m playing a princess. Rather, I feel like I’m playing “A Servant Girl’s Life” or at best “A Poor Merchant’s Daughter’s Life”. I’m supposed to be the princess of the most powerful kingdom in the region. Where are my servants? I can maybe understand having to wait for the King to begin his meal before I can eat, but why do I have to serve him his food when there is a castle-full of servants? That is not mentioning that I have to serve other nobles at court and even (ridiculously!) commoners! You know, there’s a reason for the saying “being pampered like a princess”.
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I feel that you are trying to make a commentary about the restrictions on women during the Middle Ages. That may be true to an extent but that doesn’t mean their lives are necessarily boring and monotonous. In fact, one can argue that women had a hand in almost every major event in history. History has had countless women who wielded tremendous power behind their husbands or lovers. For women born in high society, like the character we are playing, the ability to navigate court-life is an essential social skill that is not necessarily self-taught. And the ability to read and write? Well, since literacy tended to be a mark of nobility and wealth, I wonder what the King would think of a daughter that can only write her name? Besides, how else is she going to be able to read the holy scriptures of whatever the equivalent of Christianity in this world?
@ragEgnite
Most branch story lines are still under construction.
Since ChoiceScript starts doing unpredictable things when it encounters a loose end I’ve closed off those story lines. (Though @cottage14 still managed to find a loophole. It should be closed off now.)
- That’s one of the problems of this style of writing. I try to finish one main branch of the story at a time, and this perticular branch of the story simply doesn’t contain much princessy things. Most of those are supposed to go in the story line of the coming of age.
(One of the many things you can currently not choose from after hearing a ruckus downstairs.)
I was planning to write the main branches in the order they are chosen, but I guess I’ll have to start on that branch first after I’ve finished writing the current one.
@hahaha01357
2. True, but most of those things happen after you got married. That brings us at the story line mentioned above. As for the reading part, in the real middle ages it was quite rare to be able to read. Even a lot of kings, for example Charlemagne, couldn’t write more than his own signature. Reading and writing was usually only for those who involved themselves with religious matters. (monks, priests, e.d.)
And in the middle ages the scriptures were mostly written in Latin, making those things even more complicated.
@Cecilia: At the royal level, most kings could read a bit (William the Conqueror, for example, was famous for setting up a survey and ledger of England’s landholdings). More importantly, noblewomen very routinely learned to read, which is why the Arthurian mythos got as far as it did; it was late-medieval chick lit.
I’m curious as to what distinction you’re making between “manners” and “etiquette,” though.
Breaking up those long walls of texts would make it easier to read I feel.
I really hope making my little brother disappear is because of the other branches not being done yet.
Hey, enjoying the demo so far. Some errors I’ve come across are the word ‘bandids’ should be bandits and somehow I jumped from the pirate storyline with purple hair to the band of hunters with green hair.
@Cecilia I agree with hahaha01357 I was a little put off by the idea that you had to serve your father and the other nobles. Generally you just had to wait for the king to begin eating, but you didn’t have to clean or cook. Noblewomen were expected to run the household for their husbands AKA tell the servants what to clean, what to cook, what they wanted the house to look like. They were also taught to read and write. It was said that many noblewomen taught their husbands how to read and write, as they were better at it than the men.
I also want to offer you the piece of advice to start a new paragraph when someone is talking so things are easier to read.
“give up on the throne” should be “give up the throne”
A few more for today:
==“appropriatly” => appropriately
=="…officer that joined…" => …officer who joined…
==“Despite your fears nothing happens. He shows up whenever he has to…” Who? The young officer? This is a new chapter, so you should say clearly about whom you are speaking.
==“it is to insignificant” => it is too insignificant
==“gnaw on your consciousness” ==> gnaw on your conscience
@stsword I do tend to get a bit carried away with the story, making it much longer than I intended. But comments like yours are why I put up a demo. It really helps figuring out what things I do right and even more so what things I do wrong in an early stage of the writing progress.
And yes, you will have other options available later on which don’t involve killing members of your family.
@ FoxalypticWorld Well, technically your mother is the one in charge of the household, but I guess I’ll change it to something like telling the servants who to serve first.
I’m not quite sure about the writing, but I guess it depends a bit on the area and the time period of the middle ages. I’ll do a bit more research on that.
@cottage14 Thank you for the efford you put into tracing down typo’s.
Especially the one sbout ‘give up on the throne’.
I don’t think I would’ve noticed that one.
That one about the new chapter, well, I only make use of different chapters because it would otherwise become impossible to find stuff in the code. It’s not necisarily an important point in the story line.
@Cecilia I’m referring more to the idea of when the girl gets married off. Young girls are usually betrothed when born or at 7. I really like the idea of your story, and I even enjoyed playing through it quite a few times, though I have to wonder if you plan on fleshing it out some? Like with the storyline where you become the cruel queen.
I’m very excited for the coming of age storyline ^-^.
@FoxalypricWorld I just re-read the part about the breakfast, and the way I interpret it you are more or less acting as the person behind the scenes who makes sure breakfast is served properly, and not personally serving breakfast.
Of course I’m open to sugestions of how to make that more clear.
@FoxalypticWorld The storyline were you become a cruel queen is supposed to be finished already, but since it’s the first storyline I’ve written it’s not very detailed as of yet.
I’m actually quite curious to know if you’ve managed to get an ending in that storyline that isn’t you being beheaded. You see, that storyline contains one of the most dificult bottlenecks in the story thus far.
A quick to do list. Please tell me if I’ve forgotten something crucial.
To do list for ‘A princess’ life’:
Things to do throughout the process:
-Correcting spelling and grammar errors when found.
Things to do that actually influence the game itself in order of priority:
- Finish the branch story that’s currently in progress.
- Write the ‘coming of age’ branch story line.
- Figuring out how to implement actual achievements in the game. (The one in the stats screen right now is just a regular variable).
- Finish other branch stories (order yet to be determined).
- Polish the whole thing. (Layout e.d.)
- Probably alpha release (unless someone points out that I’ve forgotten something crucial in the ‘To do list’ up until this point)
- Fix things using the input of the alpha test.
- Probably Beta test (or alpha 2.0)
Estimated time to achieve all this: 2+ years