Yeoman. Set in medieval England you must make a life for yourself


#21

Ok I fixed the custom name error. I accidentally added a space in the code in the wrong spot. Thanks for the tips!


#22

It’s good so far will we be older tho and a scar in the stat


#23

Yep I am working on making stats more immersive so that you can see more about yourself. Not all of it will have an impact on game options but you will be able to see things like scars and age stats in the stat screen.


#24

I like it so far. Of course there will be grammatical issues, but either reread your work or get an editor will improve the quality of your work… Another thing is that it’s seemed rushed, and maybe in the beginning having the option to change the appearance of your charecter can really help the reader feel immersed in the story.


#25

I tried the game but after I encountered highway men there was an error message when I elected to charge their leader.


#26

What was the error message? Sometimes the site messes up. Also if you could tell me which time you chose to charge the leader it would be a great help and with what weapon.


#27

I have an editor now and I should have an updated edited version in a couple days. Thanks for the comment!


#28

It was right at the beginning when you are going to meet baron Bruce, I
charged the leader with a sword. I didn’t take down the error message sorry.


#29

Its alright was the error a 404 message maybe? Was the choice your first option when you choose between the right left and leader?


#30

Yea now that you mention it I think it was a 404 message.


#31

Yeah those happen every once in a while I couldn’t find any error in the code so thats what it probably was. Anyways thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it and will read it again sometime!


#32

Well I really do enjoy your story that you have started and I can’t wait to read it. Good luck. Im looking forward to it…


#33

My archery is at 49% and when I kill the bandit leader on the road, I get a paragraph saying I was successful, and then another one at the bottom saying I failed, which stops me from being able to play any further.


#34

hmm okay I’ll take a look at the code thanks for tip.


#35

Here is a screenshot of the text.

Other than this I’m liking the book/game :slightly_smiling:


#36

I fixed the error thanks for helping me find it. I honestly don’t know why it hasn’t shown up before now.


#37

This scene works now however afterwards I get this…


When I click ok the next button is gone from the page.

I look forward to the fix so I can continue playing :slightly_smiling:


#38

Once your father is sure the scots were gone he waves you over to him. Finn, you made me proud today and proved yourself a man. Now as a man I will expect you to join me on patrols and if the Earl of Northumbria calls me you will join me. {Also (without out) your skill with your bow we would have lost and so I will buy you a stout longbow.} It won’t be a (yew) warbow but it should serve to deter many enemies which you will undoubtedly face. Now let us go to your mother and sister so they will not worry." With that the two of you trudge up the path leading to where the women and children fled.

After defeating the Scotts this passage came up the word"out" is repeated twice where I believe that was not the intention. Look for the parenthesis also is “yew” correct it sound weird but maybe that is historical. Also I know you said no grammar but it is bugging me that you seem to be using sentences that are just a tad too long. Almost every other paragraph there is a sentence that seems like it should be made two for example look at the { }. I don’t want to write your story for you but consider using “Without your skill today we would have lost. You have made me proud and as reward for your bravery I shall buy/purchase you a stout bow.”


#39

In the section directly after:
Over the next four years you join your father and the (fyrd) as they patrol the land around Riverton. During this time you grow and are soon as large as your father and can hold your own against him in mock sword (bouts). Your archery skills also grow and you can now draw a full strength longbow and shoot with a high level of skill.
Is “fyrd” Another historical reference or misspelling? “Bouts” sounds a little more historical but I thought I’d bring it up also.


#40

After telling my father that I have dreamed of the day I could prove our name:

“I knew you would be ready to prove yourself and our name my son and will await your return eagerly” says your (father",Now) let us tell your mother and sister the good news."

Just a simple mistake.