Yeoman. Set in medieval England you must make a life for yourself


#1

I wanted to see how the idea for a life in medieval times as the son of a knight would be received. I plan on it being action laden at least at first and slowing down later. I want choices to rely less on stats (they will still have an impact on much) and more on correct choices in combat. I will soon be posting a link so you can play through what I have already written. I would appreciate constructive criticism but I don’t need any grammar tips as I have just started and have not proofread to much of it. I would really appreciate historical aid for much of it if you know what your talking about. Names of places and people are also not set in stone I only used them as fillers until I can learn what the historically correct names would be. I hope you can all find some enjoyment from this little story.

Link to what I have right now. Remember there are a ton of grammar mistakes since I have been focusing on story development thanks. http://dashingdon.com/play/bmpf15/yeoman/mygame/

I now have an editor and once I add new scenes after a couple days each scene should be updated. Thanks Again for the feed back!
I’m working on making the duel scene more in depth with combat so it may be a little while before I get it up thanks for all the support!


New Yeoman Discussion Thread
#2

I like the concept and understand it is still a rough rough draft but i found some the “your” words without the r and others with out a y. You could also strive to flush out the beginning and add more to the back story of the MC for I feel the beginning was a bit rushed. Try to brainstorm some minor events in the MC’s early ages that develop some more stats. Also I sugest adding an age stat in the stats page so the player knows how much time has passed


#3

You are definitely correct about all of it. Right now I have been trying to get a main story line set up and then I was going to add more scenes to the whole when I came up with the ideas. Situations where charisma and agility have a much larger impact. Also most of my sentences are fairly weak right now and I will polish the whole when I have my initial story line finished. Thanks for the tips and ideas.


#4

On this page I failed to kill the boar and it just wondered off but rumors still spring up that I killed it and that we have boar meat and if thats true who killed it?


#5

Also how much are you planning for advancement? Or is the MC just going to fight for glory and gold but then retire back to the manor he inherited? It could be possible that you start in the service of the baron like you have it but through glory and renown in battle (that is if the player does make good choices) gets hired into the kings service and could gain possibly land and power through that. But it all depends on what you want this story to be like. Best of luck on finding the story I will be interested on how this ends up.


#6

Thanks I’ll fix the goto code


#7

I plan on you being able to become an Earl and have the kings ear eventually but I want it to be a longer journey than you would normally expect.


#8

I look forward to it the longer the story the better the pacing and the more enjoyable you just need to do alot of research and brain storming.


#9

Thanks for the ideas I really appreciate all your advice.


#10

Got this error during this bit with the bandits


#11

Thanks I’ll fix the error.


#12

If anyone has any scene ideas I would be open to any suggestions.


#13

yeah love medieval age setting’s cant wait for more


#14

Entered custom name. Got an if error. Off to a good start xD

Love the idea though, alas not a random pathetic plebeian that rises through the ranks just a knights son. It’ll have to do.


#15

I would like to see the mc be able to humble a renowned knight that has gotten a little full of himself and forgot the code of chivalry he was supposed to uphold, in a duel or something else that would remind the knight of how its supposed to be. That or be able to wipe the floor with a noble’s spoiled brat, and maybe teach them something about being an actual noble, like actually caring for your people instead of thinking of them as tools or some such. Pretty much anything that shows what they would consider a country bumpkin, barely a step above the commoners, actually understands more about nobility than they do. Could also get the eye of someone up top by showing your skills and dedication to being a “true knight”.


#16

Would you mind telling me the name? If it has any spaces it might explain the error code.


#17

A lot of potential but you’re going to need to do a lot of background research. Two examples:

  1. Longbow Archers were trained for life as such and they practiced quite a bit every day. The Welsh would be the practitioners of the time-period you set the story in.

  2. The local you set the story in was Northumbria - a petty kingdom which had Norseman influence - they were not English nor Scott.

Your story might be very interesting if you let the reader chose to be a Welshman and track down the archer path, or allow the reader to be Northumbrian and be a noble squire-type.

As far as the name error: I chose two custom names: Elric and Alexander - both gave me an error message.


#18

You read my mind! You will soon have the opportunity to pursue a duel. Thanks for the idea it shows me that people would be interested in such an idea.


#19

Northumbria was actually an English holding before William the Conqueror invaded
England with his Normans. This story is set roughly a hundred years after the Norman conquest. You are also correct regarding the longbows. I had planned on developing more of the backstory for the bow. The choice in the beginning of the story is to determine which you would spend your young years practicing the most. So you would have had time to learn how to shoot the longbow. Thanks for reading the story. I plan on making it much more historically accurate story once I finish the story line.


#20

The name is Yuri. I get this error http://i.imgur.com/nVmvEbj.png your game is either magic for figuring out its not an English name or weird since it accepts 4 letter names just fine but if that name has a capital letter it goes mad.

May have something to do with capital letter names by the looks of it. It may be because the game checks if the name is not capitalized then capitalizes it, but if it already is then it has no idea what to do. Then again it’s an indent error :confused: