Whispers of the Stars (WIP) [On Hiatus]

[EclecticEccentric]

This project is a collaborative effort with @QueenofRants and @PicaresquePotato as co-authors and co-conspirators. It is also on hiatus and won’t be updating anytime soon.

Premise:
Unusual situations have become your life ever since you met and befriended a sea creature from Greek Mythology. Your stargazing is interrupted by the constellations themselves, you have a narrator in your head, and you discover and relive your past life. Myths and magic will force their way into your life, whether you like it or not.

Basically, it’s about constellations, souls, sea-creatures, magic, and mayhem.

It’s currently 5 chapters long, with chapters 4 and 5 unfinished.

https://dashingdon.com/play/eclecticeccentric/whispers-of-the-stars/mygame/

Update:
Chapter 3 finished. Chapter 4 expanded. Friend, Aquarius, and Ophiuchus date scenes added. Options to be deaf or have glasses added. Additional content in some places. New options in stats screen.

Any feedback and/or comments would be much appreciated.

Request for Feedback:
We are especially looking for feedback about characters, out-of-character moments, stilted dialogue, and suggestions on improving the future of the game.

Please also send us your end-game statistics as it helps us with stuff like stat checks and gauging which characters need improvement.

Art by alex

Aries

Cancer (Not Final, will be updated as progress is made)

Scorpio (Not Final, will be updated as progress is made)

Capricorn (Not Final, will be updated as progress is made)

Taurus (Not Final, will be updated as progress is made)

Virgo

Ophiuchus

Polls:
Could I trouble you with a poll or three? This will help us with developing the characters as well as determining which topics we should focus on.

Which was your favorite constellation?

• Aries
• Taurus
• Cancer
• Virgo
• Scorpio
• Capricorn
• Sagittarius
• Leo
• Gemini
• Pisces
• Ophiuchus
• Aquarius
• Libra

Which RO do you hope to romance?

• Altair/Pyralis
• Asterias
• Taurus
• Cancer
• Virgo
• Leo
• Sagittarius
• Capricorn
• Scorpio
• Gemini
• Aquarius
• Ophiuchus

Which constellation did you like the least?

• Aries
• Taurus
• Cancer
• Virgo
• Capricorn
• Sagittarius
• Leo
• Scorpio
• Aquarius
• Ophiuchus
• Libra
• Gemini
• Pisces

Disclaimer: All liberties taken with Greek mythology were not done because of insufficient research but because of story reasons. Forgive us.

[StormL2]

It’s an interesting perspective on mythology itself and there’s definitely a voice to your characters. I enjoyed how evenly spaced the choices were when it came to how you look and live, but I think that the style (like the narrator’s voice) could use some work. Personally, I liked the narrator, hit all kinds of funny for me, but it might also be a good thing to think about others who don’t share the same humor and might get put off by how sudden the narrator can be at some points.

Also, I would personally enjoy more “middle-ground” choices like near the end when MC had to choose whether or not to support the best friend’s dream of becoming a constellation, there was no “maybe or undecided” choice. Just a yes, I’ll help them or yes, I’ll help their sibling. For sort-of big choices like those, having a choice to be undecided is pretty convenient if you’re really undecided

Seriously though, it’s a pretty cool game. And considering you three have only been at it for a few months, it’s really fleshed out setting-wise. Can’t wait to see what’ll happen here!

[lliiraanna]

I enjoyed the narrator quite a bit, but it can make taking serious scenes, well, seriously, difficult; since it sets the tone of the game as humorous/lighthearted. Not really criticism, just something to consider. And, yeah, it could be annoying to some, but if that’s what you really want to do - go for it

Good luck~

[Greyscales]

Completed a playthrough and took a look at the code while I was at it. I was curious about why the narrator’s so malicious (but hey, I got more sarcpoints for the trouble, so it’s all good). Would there be more to that? Or was this just for the achievement?

Of the constellations, Taurus, Ophiuchus, Scorpio and Leo are my favourites. Virgo gives me the creeps. He can go back to the stars and stay there. Thanks.

Looking forward to see more!

[Kristina_NRE]

Really like the story so far, and hope to see more! I hope to help in the creation of the story! I found a few typos here though… (Literally me just trying to be helpful, I swear.)

Her*

He’s*

Shouldn’t my name be there?
I hope that I was helpful, and that I will be a useful source for ‘the search of mistakes’ in the future.

[EclecticEccentric]

Thank you for your kind words!

@Greyscales
Sarcpoints are supposed to track how many times you can choose sarcastic options and may also be used for willpower. The mind control aspects of the fallen constellations will play a larger role in future chapters. And Virgo is a long story…

@StormL2
Middle-ground choices are hard when whatever the player picks at that point will drive the narrative from then onwards. Sorry.

@Kristina_NRE
Thanks for telling us. We’ll fix it as soon as we can.

[Umbreonpanda]

Ah… crap, you’re making me choose aren’t you.

[ParrotWatcher]

It’s an interesting start, certainly. I think one problem with it is that the narrator is a little annoying at times, and can make it very hard to work out exactly going on. This is compounded by the fact that some options aren’t as obvious as they could be (e.g. “Suggest an alternate plan” becomes “get revenge on the people who did this”, which is not what I thought I was picking…), and there aren’t enough times to ask questions (nor questions to ask when we do have the chance).

I also found myself having to bury the hatchet with Altair, despite never having consciously made a decision to hurt him (I did try to romance him, but he seemed to think that was icky… ) Was it because I flirted at the party? I mean, it’s not like Altair had been very receptive of my initial flirts with him…

Anyway, good luck with the game.

[EclecticEccentric]

@Umbreonpanda
I’m afraid so.

@ParrotWatcher
Could you please clarify which choices seem to result in different outcomes except for that particular one? We’ll work on making less confusing choices and fix the ones that are.

And if the start of chapter 4 is the part where your choices don’t match up with the actions, Noctua’s mind controlling you.

We tend to get too engrossed in other stuff to notice what is confusing. Could you please also clarify which parts?

Perhaps you tried to tell him that he likes you? Altair’s confused enough trying to deal with the constellations and your flirting; he’s not ready to admit that he may have had feelings for you from the very beginning while drunk and surrounded by people he doesn’t know.

Long story short, he would much prefer your admitting to your feelings rather than him admitting his. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for your criticism.

[Centralrouge]

Ok I haven’t played the entire demo yet but does your constellation choice have any impacts? I Don’t mean this in a negative way I mean it in a curious way.

[ParrotWatcher]

@EclecticEccentric

Could you please clarify which choices seem to result in different outcomes except for that particular one? We’ll work on making less confusing choices and fix the ones that are.

I’m afraid I forget, but while that was the most obvious, it certainly wasn’t the only example. And, no, I spotted the mind control.

Other places I got confused include when I’m not certain if it’s the narrator speaking or another character, and thus I don’t know whether the “shut up and leave me alone” responses are warranted. Then there was the part where the constellations are asking me to collect essences (was that the word?), and while I can ask what they need them for, I don’t get a chance to ask what they are, or if removing them is as dangerous as it sounds.

Also, regarding the narrator: lampshading is a term often used to describe when a story points out its own flaws in the hope that acknowledging them will result in them being viewed as less flawed. This can be done well, even very well, but it can also be done badly (because if you know what the flaws are, why don’t you fix them?), and I worry that your narrator may be verging on this, especially in regards to railroading. People don’t like knowing that they’re being railroaded, so usually writers will use the illusion of choice to make it seem as though the player has more control over the plot than they actually do. Telling them “yes, you’re being railroaded; now get on with it” seems more incendiary than anything else.

@EclecticEccentric

Perhaps you tried to tell him that he likes you? Altair’s confused enough trying to deal with the constellations and your flirting; he’s not ready to admit that he may have had feelings for you from the very beginning while drunk and surrounded by people he doesn’t know.

Well, I’m confused, too. We’re perfect for each other!

But my main complaint was that I was seeing it as “burying the hatchet” (which implies a long-term grudge, with wrongdoing on both sides), while I was actually wanting to apologise for… well, I’m not even sure what, but there were certainly no ill feelings from my side.

[EclecticEccentric]

@Centralrouge
Your choice of favorite constellation certainly does have an impact. They will follow you around for the rest of the story.

@ParrotWatcher

Hurrah.

We’ll work on the clarifying of dialogue statements. Thanks.

Regarding the constellations asking you to collect psyches/souls, we were afraid of infodumps, and we’ll certainly add options to ask about other consequences, now that you mention it…

It is as dangerous as it sounds. The constellations are simply too distanced from mortals and mortal life that they barely consider that. We’ll add clarifications.

About the narrator, thank you for your opinion and we’ll work on cleaning it up. Unfortunately, that may take some time, since it’s quite a lot of work.

Altair is…well…upset and he has only the one best friend. And the other situation that provokes that response are asking him out at the party and cheating on him right after.

Edit: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. RE: constellations, consequences of an unfinished story, unfortunately. All constellation meetings in chapter 3 are unfinished and were supposed to introduce you to the soul/psyche term and its connection to magic. Sorry. Didn’t catch this.

[Centralrouge]

@EclecticEccentric

Your choice of favorite constellation certainly does have an impact. They will follow you around for the rest of the story.

Cool (20 characters)

[StormL2]

I definitely understand the difficulty But it would definitely be helpful for future playthroughs as it is still only the 4th(?) chapter in. It’s a great start for something that’ll obviously be bigger and I can’t wait to see what you’ll all do! Your character range is so wide and everyone has such differing personalities that’ll it’ll be interesting to see how you’ll use those in MC’s adventures

[Greyscales]

The thing you mentioned in the spoiler (I have no idea how to quote that) sounds like it’s going to be an interesting mechanic.

Virgo had a really bad first impression to me, but I get the vibe that it’s what you expected from us. Definitely too early to judge.

Is there any reasons behind the names of our siren/merperson friend? I know Altair is the brightest star in the Aquila constellation and a quick Google search show that Pyralis is a term related to fireflies, but is there anything more to it?

[Sano]

Got this when I chose to wear a full set of medieval armor.

[EclecticEccentric]

@Greyscales
The friend may or may not be explaining that to you themselves.
@Sano
I…honestly don’t know how we didn’t catch that. We’ll fix it. Thank you for the bug report.

[Ms.Fabulous]

Am I the only one who finds the back and forth between the MC and the narrator slightly annoying after a while?

[Centralrouge]

While I agree and for some it might ruin immersion whereas I enjoy it I think it adds character to the game

[kekexterror]

Not really annoying to me actually it’s pretty funny.