War or noble (WIP)


#1

Hey everyone, so this is my first attempt at writing or coding so bare with me. I started this a couple months ago i got the whole story worked out and code about a chapter and a half so far and figured i would i put it up and see how the response was before i keep on going on with it no sense making a game no one wants to read right.

Plot- You are the son of a count in the country of brittany, with norse raiders coming from neighboring lands you must decide how to stop the raiders or join them while trying to rebuild your county or maybe claim a crown. Most choice will have a noble choice or a war choice hence the name of the game.

Hey sorry i was gone for the weekend but with a little help from Cecilia_rosewood i should have this working now
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/owmkvfscyyaer85/mygame_complete.html?dl=0

May 31st- Small update with more spacing

Rest of chapter 2 and 3 will be ready for mid next week


#2

Doesn’t seem to work for me even if I open in Firefox it just comes up with:
you@example.comSign Out

Anyone else suffering from this or am I special?


#3

I’m getting the same thing as ProjectEkerTest33


#4

the link needs the dll address not the www address to work properly. look at the link in my profile for an example and change out the www for the other thingies.


#5

Hey sorry guys, i cant seem to find the right link here just give me a sec ill figure it out


#6

well no matter what i do the game wont appear it is bring up the stats box and everything but not the game does anyone know a different host site?


#7

@eddybeevie This might be a silly question, but is this a link to a compiled game?

Edit: I’m asking this because the first time I ever tried to upload a link to a game via dropbox I actually linked to the index.html-file, which showed a result much like this one, since linking to the index.html-file only works if you’ve got a public folder in dropbox.


#8

Hey working link should be up now thanks


#9

Put this mark between i’ve

before your able to saything she quickly plants a quick kiss

Change it

Before you’re able to say anything


#10

The resulting conflict would go down in history as the battle of Sant-Malou in which the Breton forces drove the Normans out of Brittany re caputuring the countys of Dol and Roazhon in the process,

Put the re closer to capturing - recapturing

The young man clears his throat" Enetering

Enetering too Entering


#11

It’s interesting so far, but you should definitely use more paragraph breaks for ease of reading and better flow. A wall of text can discourage readers, plus it’s harder to follow the story. Keep it up! :grin:


#12

10/10 Please give me more


#13

For me personally it’s a little bland.

I won’t go into the grammar for now and will just give some general feedback about the setting.

I assume you’ve taken your inspiration from medieval Britain and the Vikings raids which is fine. But try to give it your own spin. For me now you are floating in between 2 worlds, this also has to do with the naming of your nations. Try to nail down the world in your introduction and make it your own.

Games for me which do that really well were Lords of Ashwick and the Sabres / Guns of Infinity. You can pinpoint pretty well what historic setting they took they’re inspiration from but the world they placed it in was their own.

For now 4/10 but it certainly has potential.


#14

Need to have paragraphs because it becomes really hard to read if it is very messy, needs to be neat. Also some spelling error like (ive) should be (I’ve) also not sure if good morrow is supposed to be that or if it is supposed to be morning. And also even the intro is a bit too bland but, great idea and can’t wait to see how it turns out. Good Luck!:wink:


#15

Actually I’m using medieval Brittany which was a small kingdom on the edge of France for a short period of history.


#16

So I don’t like going into grammar cause it’s not my favorite topic but you do really need to go through and reread some areas because there are alot of them and they take away from the story after a while. Also, agreeing with the others in the paragraph spacing - I opened the game and kinda sighed at that one paragraph that I faced. Onto the story aspect.

With the opening, I’m just gonna say it is the prologue, I do know and understand that it is to set up the setting and what not but it’s a bit bland. If you lose the reader before they even start the story then whelp . . .

The story is interesting in itself and I am curious about where it will go but my curiosity isn’t peaked, if that makes sense lol. I do have a question, how big of a role will religion play in this?


#17

Religion will have a role in the game I’m going to avoid going very deep with it. But with the time period it is set in hard to avoid it all together. But one thing for sure is the Pope will be watching and ex communtaion could happen.


#18

Just my kind of game. Looking forward to more.


#19

so far so good, whens chapter 2 and 3 coming?


#20

Dunno if you’re new here but you’re not actually allowed to ask when updates and stuff are coming. Puts unnecessary pressure on the writer, you know?