Vendetta: Rise of a Gangster


#1

I’ve now uploaded the opening sequence to Vendetta: Rise of a Gangster. This is deliberately cut short so comment and opinion can be focused entirely on the “first impressions” aspect rather than any subsequent narrative, for fine-tuning purposes.

http://www.vendetta1.webs.com/

Note that very early on I have a host of “Info” pages providing background to the setting and the game. These are very much a first draft and will doubtless be slimmed down when I get around to it. I have included these for the simple reason that my main target audience have probably mostly never encountered one of these types of story-games before, at all, so have only the overall theme as their primary attraction. This is why I’ve gone to a little more trouble than is usual in explaining the game system and describing the stats page (or “Modus Operandi”, as it’s called in the game), together with a detailed historical background.

Thoughts, comments, etc. would be greatly appreciated.


#2

After going through the Dino job again, it certainly has more appeal with my second character. It should be fun turning those mooks into a high class operation.


#3

Looks great so far. The story (so far) seems like a great idea, and it should make a great CoG game.

For me the number of choices for your character in the beginning seems actually too long. At least its hard to choose from all of those possibilities, but then again it also allows you to play the game all over again many times without boring you.

I’ll be waiting for updates, but so far (as I already said) the game (and the story) looks great!

Keep it coming! :smiley:


#4

My thoughts are of course that its attitude to gender is completely unacceptable and that it should not be played. But since I’ve nothing to add but a re-statement of my earlier views, I’ll keep this post brief.


#5

didn’t find any error so that good. but it would be cool that you pushed the demo a little further than prologue(which was great and unique with each background) so we can get a little sneak peak of the story.


#6

if having you play woman in game, it would very different game, you would be playing a Lady Macbeth not Cesare Borgia. She would whisper in ear, the power of mind behinde throne. Her main problem get your man to listen, making look he not get boss around by woman to his boys.


#7

yes but before you do that and overwork yourself finish the game then add the women part later or something.


#8

@imf151 Thanks for your kind comments. As you’ve surmised, I am indeed aiming for maximum replay value with a detailed game system behind the scenes, all stemming from the original Background choice. It’s not intended to be a short game so I wanted the player to have good reason to play again, and again, and . . . :slight_smile:

@Canisa While I do respect your point of view, I don’t agree with it. I don’t feel that we should whitewash true history in the slightest, but to depict it as it was. If that means you won’t play the role of a male gangster (it’s called “role-playing”, btw) and I won’t play the role of a female suffragette, because that particular role doesn’t appeal, then so be it. We are, after all, individuals, with our own likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies. Games, too, should be uniquely individual–wherever possible.

@djma46 The actual demo will certainly be much longer, and is probably about another 2-3 weeks away (at my current speed of learning ChoiceScript as I go, that is), and I’m hoping to complete the full game in about three months, all being well. What’s up there right now is literally just a “first impressions” taster in hope of some early feedback to help guide my efforts.


#9

The first thing is that there seems to be very little choice in the kind of person you are. Picked college grad, and I’m immediately described as a dumb bloodthirsty brute. The writing is good, but so far there seems to be little ‘interactive’ parts in your IF. Drawing the intro out a bit (giving the player more choices in their background and thereby more flexibility in their stats) would be much good thing.


#10

Great job so far. I love the setting and appreciate the style of the Web site and intro. Great writing. The prologue sets up the character background and provides the major plot point – vengeance.

I personally enjoyed the Info sections but thought that you may consider handling them differently, in a more interactive way. Maybe in a flashback have the main character discuss the era with an older uncle, or have him do research. Make it active, and interrupt it with sub-choices, even if you use fake_choice.

Also (and this is a comment I had during my review by CoG), be wary of describing game mechanics. It’s better to let readers figure out what stats mean organically through gameplay. Some of the harder concepts can be roleplayed through the game itself.

You have a fantastic framework for the game, and it looks like a lot of work went into it, so good luck and looking forward to reading more.


#11

@reaperoa Thanks for the feedback–it’s good to see things through another’s eyes (and rethink accordingly!).

True enough, I’m certainly guilty of assuming that most, if not all, real gangsters were basically fairly nasty people (that said, I also believe they were, for the most part, a product of the time and place in which they lived; i.e. more or less conditioned to behave a certain way).

As for the college graduate background, this very almost didn’t make it in at all simply because it was such a rarity historically: before the 1920s, fewer than 1 percent of first-generation Italian-Americans even made it to high school. Most were forced into work (or petty crime, in the case of most wannabe gangsters) in their early-mid teens.

In the background for college grad I therefore tried to depict someone who started out just like everyone else around him (“a dumb bloodthirsty brute”, as you put it)–i.e. a product of the ghetto–but, when actually given the opportunity to change, he went and made something of himself and gained a real education. Of course the story then puts him right back where he started, in line with the overall theme of the game, but how you play him from that point on will, of course, be the player’s decision. Perhaps more than any of the other Backgrounds, the college grad does not really have the stats to be successful as “a dumb bloodthirsty brute”, and would likely not do very well if that’s how you chose to play that one. His particular strengths are, in fact, almost the complete opposite.

On your other main point (early interaction, or lack thereof), I agree entirely that I’ve spent far more time setting the plot than is usual in a typical ChoiceScript game. This was a concious decision on my part and is partly due to personal preference, but mostly because I wanted to immerse the reader in that time and place–i.e. the story–before they begin to play the actual game.

It might indeed have to be slimmed down in the final edit, though: if asked to describe my style in one word, it would likely be “verbose”. Others would probably put it less kindly. :smiley:

@JimD Thanks, Jim, that’s a really great suggestion. I was so wrapped up in providing the historical stuff to put everything into proper context, it never even occurred to me to make it part of the game itself. I kept it separate simply because only a minority are likely to be interested enough to read it (hehe) but in hindsight I agree that this could be done in-game (with an easy opt-out choice for the player at any point, so they don’t have to pursue it if they don’t want to). Yep, I like it a lot–thanks.

Your point about describing game mechanics in advance is well taken. I must admit, my design background is in deep strategy games–where players like to get their teeth into the nitty-gritty of the various elements–so writing those sections just came naturally . . . I’ll certainly have a rethink on the subject before the final release.


#12

I’m liking it quite a bit so far, the sheer amount of research that went into it from what I’ve seen tickles me as a history geek, as does the slang. It would have been a bit better to have us care for Gina a bit more before killing her off, but you did a pretty good job with it in the short time given. There are a good deal of choices in regards to background, and I sincerely hope that they each add their own bit of flavor to the playthrough. I’m looking forward to more.


#13

The writing is outstanding, very polished. Keep it coming.


#14

I love writing instead have being with long being, should let make choice in are character youth, to how he end up in one thought one 7 different postions.


#15

Slight error - Your nickname becomes “Benny” when you choose “Alphonse” as your name. So far it is good - I usually do not like games with huge amounts of text, but you pull it off well. I look forward to updates.


#16

can’t wait for the update i really enjoyed playing this game


#17

@13ventrm Thanks, I’ve always been fascinated by the era as a subject for study. To be able to put that to good use creatively is something I find extremely rewarding.

Your point about Gina’s early demise is a good one. Unfortunately, as some of the character backgrounds estrange the two of you several years before Chapter One, it was difficult to orchestrate a closer bond without starting the game itself way back in early childhood. It’s a toughie, as starting that far back was not something I wanted to include within the scope of the game (or at least, outside the Prologue).

As for the different Character Backgrounds, yes, it is definitely my intention to make these far more important and distinct than just governing your starting stats. In addition to unique contacts (some already mentioned within some of the backgrounds), each leading to their own sub plots, each of the backgrounds will have unique advantages and disadvantages, occasionally leading to rare opportunities and unique choices. It’s a challenge (and a lot of extra work!) but I’m determined to make playing each one as varied an experience as possible–while still trying to adhere to the overall design principles discussed in the various CoG bloggs.

@HoraceTorys Really appreciated, thanks, I’ll do my best. :slight_smile:

@Rogar I’m pleased you like it, and thanks for the feedback. As mentioned just above, I’m very reluctant to spend too much time starting even earlier in the life of the character simply because of the amount of work I’ve given myself to do from the point of Gina’s demise onwards. I’ve pretty much got a schedule mapped out, with set deadlines to meet (it’s just how I regulate and motivate myself). However, if I find I have spare time at the end, I’ll certainly look again at the whole starting scenario and see what can be done along the lines suggested here.

@peglegpenguin Ah, the joys of copy-paste-edit . . . Many thanks for that–I’ve checked the others too so everything will be fine with the next upload, fingers crossed.

@xPoisonThornx I’m glad you enjoyed it–I’ll see if I can beat my own deadline for the full demo update. :wink:


#18

Take your time my friend I rather wait for gem, then fast sugar.


#19

@Vendetta your welcome :slight_smile: i love mafia sort of games, i can’t wait to see what happen to your character as the game carry on and i liked how you wrote a back story for the sister


#20

Perhaps instead of the question of how the character’s childhood has affected his perspective, we can have a scene with Gina worried about how the character’s life will turn out, and the player’s response could determine what the other question determines. Merely a suggestion, you have a lot on your plate as it is, and I hope you can pull it all off.