Transporter: A space adventure [WIP] (Updated 12/07/17)

science-fiction
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#1

You were just supposed to deliver some cargo…but, suddenly, your journey became exponentially more complicated. A tale about friendship, morality and mysteries…and, well, space. Welcome aboard, Captain.

https://dashingdon.com/go/1166

Transporter will be a story about you, an alien Captain of a commericial spaceship suddenly finding themselves having to make a delivery that quickly became far more than you bargained for. You will face dangers untold, test your friendship, your morality and your skills…and, if you are resourceful and smart enough, you will discover what’s behind all of that.

The story will feature two main paths, each one with their own endings (plus a “Golden ending” that you can reach from every path) and mysteries to uncover: will you brave a war zone or maybe face a route where several ships have recently disappeared? Your ship, your choice!

The game is currently in alpha and it’s my first project, so suggestions and critiques are accepted and encouraged. Also, the game features (and will feature more) lore entries, but will be playable and understandable even without reading them (or at least, that’s my aim. As before, suggestions are welcome).

That being said…enjoy!

15/03/17: The game has now been update with the newly written chapter one (encyclopedia entries excluded, which will added at a later date)! As always, this is an alpha, so there are probably bugs (though I hope not) and typos (almost definitely). Also, the game now has a title picture (which you can see in all its glory here).
This chapter is definitely larger than longer, so you will miss most of the content playing only once…but that can be said for most choice games out there :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

25/03/17: The MyEncyclopedia+ entries are up, which officially conclude chapter 1.

23/06/17: The first part of chapter 2 is up. There’s more or less 7k words of new content, but you will be able to see very little of it for each playthrough. I hope I will be able to update once more before the end of the month with a little more content before the great branch (and corrections, hopefully only tipoes and not bugs). Once again, I apologize for the delay.
Save strings should work as intended unless, when dealing with Alei at the end of chapter 1, you used your authority after asking their opinion: I had to rebalance the choice to make the game recognise it correctly, so the data in your string would probably lead to strange situations (AKA the game will proceed like nothing happened).


#2

Well,the last part really indicate the chaos. I a bit confused about alei gender though,since most of the time alei described as they,thare one point where alei called him maybe just texting mistake?
This part:
His parents? So they was not raised in a Community…

And the story itself. looks like there going to be much challenge ahead, looking forward to it☺(and I never thought being other race is interesting😁)


#3

Thanks for your comment! The last part was written (trying) to convey the feeling of panic and the sensation that everything was happening too fast for the MC to fully grasp, I hope I didn’t made it too chaotic.
Regarding Alei, yes, the him is a refuse (initially I wrote them as male since they were raised outside the Union and might have lacked the culture behind being gender-neutral, then decided that they were going to be gn anyway). I corrected most of them, but something slipped :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#4

Well that explain it :no_mouth: ,sorry just confused :sweat_smile:
Edit:alei character already charm me​:heart_eyes: I somewhat have a thing with somewhat innocent personality like that :blush:


#5

Hello! I have not read anything but a bit of the kokkoro lore yet but I just wanted to say that I already really love it! Detailed lore is always a really big plus in choice games (in my opinion) I love reading it I don’t know it is just like how do you come up with this stuff! I wish I had an imagination! :tired_face: Anyways that’s all I’m just really excited to read the actual story when I get home


#6

So far I really like it. I was a bit freaked out when my playthrough suddenly jumped back to the beginning which I guess happened because you updated the file? :grin:

At first, when I met Alei I thought it was Tya because Tya had a shy and innocent nature too and deep down I was a little sad. I like to keep childhood friends around. However, no matter if it’s Alei or Tya I have a bad feeling that this will get the MC into a lot of trouble. Because shy and innocent could also be called naive.

In the scene where you go meet your potential client you have a minor mistake:

“but you spot the one you are supposed to meat fairly soon…well”

At last, I just wanted to say that I would have liked a little more detail to the bar. Because I would guess everyone defines “classy” a bit different. Maybe a short scene where the MC looks at some guests or the main focus of the bar. However, feel free to keep it and let everybody imagine their own bar. :wink:


#7

A bit like mass effect I so loved that game


#8

First of all, thank everyone for your comments (and for visiting)!

@ChibaHateme Thank you for the feedback! I must admit, I’ve always found descriptions fairly boring, so I tend to skip them as much as I can…but you are probably right, a few more lines describing it wouldn’t hurt. Also, that typo made me laugh…I must have been rather hungry when I wrote that.


#9

MyEncyclopedia+ - Sothan
"It’s said that Sothan herself sends hint on who she wishes to be elected with prophetic dreams shortly before the votation. […] "
sends a hint or sends hints

[spoiler]"with branches as her arms and hands Her face is covered by a mask with an eye painted on it; behind the mask a pair of Kokkoro horns and ears can be seen. "
some punctuation is needed between hands and Her face

page 2
"No, doing that will require your boredom (or your desperation) to be much, much exasperated that it is now. "
much more exasperated

page 3
"…and the only thing they asked was a few personal data?! "
asked for was or data questions

flashback
"they are easily one of the strongest and tallest of all of you and having them clearly angry and towering you "
towering over you

"You try to remain calm, like your favourite Nana always say, and confront them trying to not let your fear show. "
says

"I…saw you in the audience at the debate. I…wanted to ask you…how I went? "
How I did?

"Poor sod…growing up in a not Kokkoro world must have been hard for them…no wonder they’re so nervous all the time. "
Growing up on a non-Kokkoro world

"The Kokkoro appears to consider your words for an instant or two, their eyes casted downwards."
cast downwards

"“Oh, stupid me, I didn’t even introduce myself!” "
haven’t even

"A terrible famine hit your planet two years ago and not even the efforts of your best scientists have managed to get near to a cure to this day."
close to a cure

Back to the present
"Except…ship started to disappear on that route. "
ships

" Please present it to the warehouse so you can retire the cargo."
retrieve the cargo

"They’re getting pretty desperate and they’re offering quite much for it."
quite a lot might be better

"The last time you took an offer that seemed convenient you got stuck between a rock and hard place…where the rock has murderous dreadnoughts shooting at each others…"
at other

"it’s unlikely for them to point you a blaster to the head "
point a blaster at your head

"Before you can do anything, Inlathan is pulling you up by grabbing your wrist and then forcing you to run behind them, just a second before a second laser hit the point you were in. "
pulling you up by your wrist[/spoiler]

"Psionics usually manifest first during adolescence, with migraines accompanying them."
I wish this were true, I’d be psionic as H-!!! right now.


#10

Oh, any aliens available who just happen to look like cute, blue skinned space hunks (elf ears optional)?
Please say, yes so I can indulge in my most niche fetish of sexy blue skin on super-cute guys.

I will give it a more thorough playthrough probably tomorrow or this weekend, time permitting of course.


#11

Any big monstrous total goof aliens in our future?


#12

Well done! Only read few twentieth pages tho, but the world-description already grabs my attention.

But the best thing is, it is light! Easy to read, easy to understand.

Oh, and you might want to hint us readers/players earlier that we’re not playing as human. As I thought I was just a normal human courier delivering god-knows-packages from the dark side of the universe between alien races xD


#13

@FutbolDude21586 You, kind sir/madam/citizen, have my undying love and admiration for finding all that errors! Have a virtual cookie (or a medal, if you prefer). :cookie:

@idonotlikeusernames Hah, well, I’ll have to ask around in that corner of the galaxy. For now, I’m afraid the best you have are purple-ish, cow-eared and generally adorable lizards.

@Adam_VanCleave_Perro Your crew is quite varied, and one of them is an Itharian (like the secretary), so big and fluffy…but monstrous? Eh, no, probably not…unless someone angers them.

@Szaal Thanks, for both compliments and suggestion! I’m not a fan of excessively complex styles in writing (both in English and in my mother tongue), I feel they force the reader to decript the text first and enjoy the book later, so I try to keep mine as simple as possible unless the situation calls for something more elaborate.
And about the suggestion, for now I think I’ll modify the description, but later I’ll see if I can highlight that fact better in the text itself.


#14

Mmmm, cookie!!

No worries, I really enjoyed your writing.


#15

Awww…well if you reconsider you’d be the first one around here, apart from the Myrmidon to satisfy that most obscure of cravings of mine. :wink:


#16

So, hello everyone! I have outlined the major choices in Chapter 1 and I’m now beginning to write it (after a pretty terrible week I had to spend working overtime for my day job), but right now I have a question for all of you: is there a particular encyclopedia entry you’d like to see? I was planning one to explore a little more the Schism, but other than that I haven’t decided yet.


#17

This Kind of sounds like space trucker. lol


#18

Huh, thinking about it… yea has a simmilar feel. But I suspect there will be more people that read this game than those who watched that movie. The basis of the story was ok but the movie was just poorly done. This story is good.


#19

Hey that was a classic back in its day lol but still the only good part was the ultimate warrior scene


#20

(Silly me, at first I didn’t even realize “Space truckers” was supposed to be a movie, I thought it was just a less fancy way to say “Space transporter”)

After reading the plot…well, I must admit it does feel similar in certain points, but I promise, this game is sex dolls-free :stuck_out_tongue: