A bit of feedback…
This is a question, rather than a suggestion. Why did the MC have no contact at all with the team for two months after they’d already been declared a part of the team? Really, it seems like the MC is just now becoming part of the team. That seems a bit odd. You might want to provide some kind of explanation for it, so it doesn’t come off so forced, especially since the MC seems unneeded, UB does everything without her, and she’s more of a charge than a team member, even from Rebecca’s words of “they’re here to protect you” (which implies the MC is useless and just something to halfway guard along with the town).
For the choice where the MC is wondering how many people in town might be supernatural, might I suggest a more laid back answer for the detectives who aren’t excitable, but aren’t prone to fear? Maybe something like: “It’s a thought I find intriguing, and I look forward to meeting more supernaturals.”
Just something that’s a little less “five-year-old in a candy shop” than the first option, but with no fear or ambivalence.
Choice feedback 2
For the choice where Rebecca mentions, unhappily, that you’re part of the team, none of them struck me as something my MC would say/do.
My MC has a horrible relationship with Rebecca and, honestly, nothing Rebecca is doing or saying so far is helping that, so I kinda find myself wanting something more hostile or sarcastic, telling her to back off some. I mean, from a character POV, Rebecca is problematic–logically, UB will never treat the MC like a part of the team when Rebecca treats her like an imbecilic child who has to have a babysitter all the time and can’t defend herself. She’s really grating with that, especially if your MC as anything other than a wet-behind-the-ears kid.
This bit was amusing:
The flash which had caught in his eyes before seems to turn into a storm. Heat radiates like electricity in the small gap between us, and I almost forget there are others around.
More specifically, my mother.
“Agent…” Rebecca says the warning in a low tone that even has me taking a wide step back. Though retreating from Mason’s magnetic pull is harder than expected.
Though it does nothing to endear Rebecca to my MC. If anything, I can tell she’s just going to hate the woman more as time passes, lol.
The scene with M outside, where M says, “I’m not asking for a life history” seems very out of place, since the MC isn’t talking about themselves. Maybe change it to something like, “I don’t really want to discuss my history” since the focus was on M’s history?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the exchange between the MC and A when A sneers about “some humans” and the MC points out that she’s there working with them. That actually got an apology from A, which rocks. A needs to see he’s a species-ist.
The scene where M offers to walk the MC to the car. I love it, but no F snark?? I live for F snark!!
Random fangirl begging
And one more for tonight, just a reader request (begging??)… after the scene with M walking outside and the discussion about the sun, the detective so needs to be able to give M a pair of seriously dark sunglasses (not like A’s because the aviator things are totally A), but something to protect M’s sensitive eyes!!
Cool! I actually love that idea. But maybe wording it differently would help. I assume the coding will only allow you one choice at a time, so maybe instead of changing the question itself, just add in parentheses that you can choose the same skill for primary and secondary to max it out?
On the same note, will we be able to adjust our MC’s skills for imported saves? Or friend points?
Considering I based it on the fact that it doesn’t matter if M’s the one you were better friends with at the end of book 1, as demonstrated in the demo, no I don’t think it’s pre-emptive. Clearly, friend points with M–at this point, at least–make absolutely no difference. Otherwise, the MC being closer to M than the others would cause M to rank them a bit higher than MC’s who have not made the effort. I believe it’s intentional, based on the fact that Sera has said in several asks that it takes a long time for M to bond with anyone and a long time to get comfortable around anyone (which requires them spending a long time with someone to get that way). So yeah, it’s not pre-emptive. Perhaps trying to be friends with M in book 2 might make a difference, but without friend points, there’s really no way to keep track, which leads me to believe that trying to be friends with M at all is pointless and it will just happen way down the road, much like feelings if M is the RO. It fits with the character.
Edit: After looking at the code, I see that, should you choose M as the one you got along with best in UB, you get a +4 to friendship points for them (+5 for A and +6 for F or N, if you choose them instead). Given that, and the fact that I had a +9 for M when I did a Nate RO, and a +11 for M in my M romance, it’s possible the difference in points may make a difference in M’s attitude, so I’ll reserve judgment (and replays to redo points) for now.
Edit 2: Okay, I was wrong. Because of how friend points are figured in the demo, you end up with ‘barely teammates’ pretty much all the time with M. However, the code does give credit for having made friends with M in book 1. Specifically, if you have 4-9 friend points, you’re teammates with M, 10-12 friend points then you’re “better teammates” and above that, you’re ‘closer teammates.’ So it’s totally worth it to pour points into M’s friendship. YAY!!!