Actually I wasn’t guessing, just listing the common elements from tv tropes, and counting them out.
TV tropes also lists unusual elements, like one game has cheese as an element. lol
Hey @stsword ! You forgot about the…
Waaaaait for it…
Waaaaait for it…
element of surprise!
Bah dum ching!
Very interesting and entertaining, but I have a few complaints.
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I am sure the plot and lore can be conveyed to us in a form of exposition other than “as you know”.
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Lot of grammar mistakes, but I can understand that.
I suggest first finishing the game then fix these two things.
Let us know when you finish another part. I am looking forward to reading more.
@DSeg
Thanks! I’ll consider your opinion!
@BrianBlack
Element of SURPRISE xD lol!
I’m in love with your premise so far!
Somethings I noticed, however:
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I’m not sure if this is a coding thing or if you wrote it that way, but you repeat the choice given after it’s been chosen. This is very distracting and unneeded, as I’ve already read it. It feels like a nuisance on the page.
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It automatically puts me in the position as a man. I do hope this isn’t a final thing as I have a hard time connecting with the character when I’m playing a man and would love to play as a bad-ass princess. You know?
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Grammar and spelling mistakes were made, but that’s as expected when in writing.
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Feel free to break up larger paragraphs into many smaller ones. It’s easier on the reader’s eyes. In my case, I tend to skim long paragraphs because they can’t really hold my attention and it becomes a bit confusing.
- could you explain what powers and what makes the main character special please
- are we only getting the demo or the full game aswell when it’s done?
- is their Dragon riders?
@snappingcookies
So, first I conceived the game to play as a male and a female and then decided to leave only a male but now I see that was not right and I’ll add a female too. Regarding bad-ass princess… I think I have ideas to add this. And regarding your first question: can you tell me how many times you played the demo? It’ll help me to correct the choices.
@holyknight124
1)There will be a lot of choices regarding these powers and you’ll need to use it and of this depends an end of a battle for example.
2)When I’ll finish the game I’ll send it to Choice of Games.
3)There are no dragons, there are new creatures that you nowhere met.
it was good but can we have the option to be female and not just male
@Azraeldrake9
Yes! I’ve already added it!
@Dmitry
I played it about two or three times. I would click “somewhere far to the left; you have felt that something has pulled you there.” and then on the next page, it would say: “somewhere far to the left; you have felt that something has pulled you there. You were flying there and heard and felt nothing except a power that pulled you.”
It was repeated on the next page, so I was literally reading the choice I had just made on the last page. Either simply take that out or write it in to blend it a bit better, where it’s not just repeating it. I’ve already read it, I’m ready to move on, etc. For example, you could rephrase it to: “You felt a tugging sensation as you move to the left, almost like someone was pulling you along.”
Also, the first few choices seem a bit odd and a little bit pointless. I don’t know whats going to change if I chose something else and they might as well all be the same for me, such as the decorating of my room. Perhaps it could be a bit more summarized. Chosing a color scheme first (golden, forest colored, royally painted, I don’t know, just something a little less prolonged) and then how cozy or spacy my room might be. That sort of thing.
I also just tried to replay the game and the game the link sends me to does not have a female option, just in case you tried to upload it and it didn’t happen.
@snappingcookies
I added a female option but I still didn’t upload it. Pointless or not that’s just a demo.
I’ve just finished to write my game. About 240.000 words and the story only begins. I have big plans for this story that occurs during 5 big games. So, I’m going to fix mistakes and send it to the Choice of Games.
@Dmitry Good luck. I only wish you had updated the demo more than once. And I hope you got rid of “as you know” situations.
@DSeg
Thank you!
I have finished to fix my game and finally sent it to Choice of Games.
Hello to all again! I want to suggest you to play the first 5 chapters of my first game. I hope you enjoy. https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/w78eojofhjdf0vw/The_Sword_of_the_Elements.html
It want let me get to the game.
I have uploaded the game again. The link above works.