The siege of treboulain (wip demo)

[JedHerne]

Hi everyone!

I’ve been working on my first Choice of Games story, The Siege of Treboulain, for some time. It’s an epic fantasy game, where you play as the ruler of Treboulain: a magical, medieval city. When an enemy army sets siege to Treboulain, you must defend your city and protect your people.

The game has been huge fun to write! I’m roughly 70% done with the first draft, so I thought it could be fun to launch a demo/playtest of the game.

The final game will have about 9 chapters. This demo contains the first 2 chapters (about 43,000 words of gameplay).

To play the demo, go here: http://bit.ly/siegeoftreboulaindemo

I’d love to get your feedback. Once you’ve played the demo, please let me know what you think in the comments below!

[Jerry_Atkinstein]

1st

[Jackpot1776]

My thoughts:

• There is a lot of stats. Like, I love stat heavy games, but this seems like a lot haha/ Do all of them matter and actually get used? If not, I might suggest pruning a few
• No low level errors

I went with an intelligence/charisma build, and several times I thought I chose the correct choices to ply to that but then I failed. Are the stat checks high or is there something else at play?

Regardless, it is very well written. Right up my alley, definitely has potential. Very good work thus far.

[niranjan_vivek]

I liked the world building and the story so far.

[Eton_x]

I haven’t finished the demo yet, but so far so good! Like @Jackpot1776 said, there are A LOT of stats, but I can’t really complain much since all of them are well organized both in the codes and in the stat screen. I did noticed that some of the skill checks, especially the combined ones, are pretty high - I ended up failing some of them by 10 or so points. I know that this is a very heavy stat-based game, so I was wondering if you will lower them in the future?

[Paradox1]

Firstly, congratulations on getting your story out!
I really liked the demo, the immersion and subtle humour inlaid in certain parts seemed to accentuate the story. I felt the pacing is a bit rushed at certan points but considering this is a story considering defending a wall against siege, the first couple chapters dealing with the backstory will feel a little fast paced nonetheless so that we can get into the main body of the story as soon as possible.
I agree with what others have pointed out regarding the stats choices. A couple less trait choices would be appreciated, personally and the stat check seems a bit high to get success in certain situations.
I failed a choice having 60 intimidation and 40 courage.

A few errors :

" He she" I think it’ll be " then she"

Draw you to war

Heave

‘streets of Gristle’

Another thing, as it is, the story is branching out in the demo and it’ll get bigger in the future. So a save feature would be highly appreciated

Good luck with the story, I’ll be following it closely !

[Bulk_Biceps]

@JedHerne will you add the save & load feature soon?

[Ghoslestat]

Love the story. Excited to see what happens

[Nytshaed]

This is pretty good so far. I like the level of flavor in a lot of the choices a lot.

[M_Trakar]

I’m loving the game so far, it’s very good. I think a save and load option would be really nice to have in the demo

[Daring_Knight]

My thoughts

I really enjoyed playing the game. In my opinion the pacing was fairly okay and the descriptions of the locations in the story made me fall in love with it. I also loved the little aspects of humour and the great amount of freedom the choices give like the option to yell “wait” at the assassin.

However, I noticed that the majority of the characters introduced are female. I hope this will change as the story progresses. I also want to tell you that making the outcome of the choices based heavily on stats can deter players like me who do not like keeping records of stats or even looking at them.

overall this is a great story and I am definitely going to bookmark this.

[Isi_Talks]

I think the character gender is determined by your preference choice then because in mine it where predominantly men

[M_Trakar]

I think you’re right I choose “interested in women and men” and i got it 50/50 lol

[Christo79834782]

Since there are so many stats, may you please create a stat explanation in the “Show Stats” slide, so that I have a better understanding of what each stat is for?

[Mistyleaf123]

I believe this is cut off-

[JedHerne]

Certainly! Not sure if it will go in the demo or not, but it will certainly be in the final game.

[JedHerne]

Thank you!

[Colshot]

You got me with medival fantasy… NOW I have to test it But like I said you already had me with your first sentence ^^

My critic or help… Let’s talk it advices because that’s sound s nicer is the following comment

[Colshot]

Okay wich ability is for what I like Agile fighters maybe you can wield two swords? Well that’s very rare I know but even with one sword swift fighter is always cool. That leads me to the build in the demo I tried to have some variation but I absolutely have no clue how to build my character properly…

Next thing during the parade all People lived me chanted for me and said yes our new king is awesome… I even punched the Soldier who tried to kill you with ease but when it comes to preparing for the battle they all work against me… What the… Even if you tell them The right thing it’s only like ‘’ yeah that was okay but you definitely convinced only the half or so ‘’

I know you can’t statsfy everyone but the time before the sige is like 3 Hours or so I mean they are litterly at front of your gate I wonder how I could Set traps… My walls are… A cracked stone thing with holes in it??? Well okay but why did nobody took care about this in the first place?

So my ideas

Take your time with the situations in this scenario it was like you have to attend at court (you do 1) then you Jump to the festival Wich is over after a short speech because no time to celebrate anything and after that Battle (the battle scene was okay But I get the feeling that you want to tell so much but you take little time for it. Even if you have to write some more lines they are worth it…

Second idea (use some kind of Stat explanation strange and agility are pretty obvious but you have many stats and I can only guess how they work)

3. The character build is creative but I can only get an idea what decisions helps do Boost a skill. Maybe you should look there again

[cornerstorecashier]

I loved this! You honestly had me at “play as the ruler of a magical city”. I like what we know of the story so far. The stats intimidated me at first, but I was able to code dive and successfully slow down the siege. Can’t wait for the full game!