The siege of treboulain (wip demo)

Hi everyone!

I’ve been working on my first Choice of Games story, The Siege of Treboulain, for some time. It’s an epic fantasy game, where you play as the ruler of Treboulain: a magical, medieval city. When an enemy army sets siege to Treboulain, you must defend your city and protect your people.

The game has been huge fun to write! I’m roughly 70% done with the first draft, so I thought it could be fun to launch a demo/playtest of the game.

The final game will have about 9 chapters. This demo contains the first 2 chapters (about 43,000 words of gameplay).

To play the demo, go here: http://bit.ly/siegeoftreboulaindemo

I’d love to get your feedback. Once you’ve played the demo, please let me know what you think in the comments below!

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1st :yum:

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My thoughts:

  • There is a lot of stats. Like, I love stat heavy games, but this seems like a lot haha/ Do all of them matter and actually get used? If not, I might suggest pruning a few
  • No low level errors

I went with an intelligence/charisma build, and several times I thought I chose the correct choices to ply to that but then I failed. Are the stat checks high or is there something else at play?

Regardless, it is very well written. Right up my alley, definitely has potential. Very good work thus far.

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I liked the world building and the story so far.

I haven’t finished the demo yet, but so far so good! Like @Jackpot1776 said, there are A LOT of stats, but I can’t really complain much since all of them are well organized both in the codes and in the stat screen. I did noticed that some of the skill checks, especially the combined ones, are pretty high - I ended up failing some of them by 10 or so points. I know that this is a very heavy stat-based game, so I was wondering if you will lower them in the future?

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Firstly, congratulations on getting your story out!
I really liked the demo, the immersion and subtle humour inlaid in certain parts seemed to accentuate the story. I felt the pacing is a bit rushed at certan points but considering this is a story considering defending a wall against siege, the first couple chapters dealing with the backstory will feel a little fast paced nonetheless so that we can get into the main body of the story as soon as possible.
I agree with what others have pointed out regarding the stats choices. A couple less trait choices would be appreciated, personally and the stat check seems a bit high to get success in certain situations.
I failed a choice having 60 intimidation and 40 courage.

A few errors :


" He she" I think it’ll be " then she"


Draw you to war


Heave


‘streets of Gristle’

Another thing, as it is, the story is branching out in the demo and it’ll get bigger in the future. So a save feature would be highly appreciated :beers:

Good luck with the story, I’ll be following it closely !

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@JedHerne will you add the save & load feature soon?

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Love the story. Excited to see what happens

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This is pretty good so far. I like the level of flavor in a lot of the choices a lot.

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I’m loving the game so far, it’s very good. I think a save and load option would be really nice to have in the demo :slight_smile:

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My thoughts

I really enjoyed playing the game. In my opinion the pacing was fairly okay and the descriptions of the locations in the story made me fall in love with it. I also loved the little aspects of humour and the great amount of freedom the choices give like the option to yell “wait” at the assassin.

However, I noticed that the majority of the characters introduced are female. I hope this will change as the story progresses. I also want to tell you that making the outcome of the choices based heavily on stats can deter players like me who do not like keeping records of stats or even looking at them.

overall this is a great story and I am definitely going to bookmark this.

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I think the character gender is determined by your preference choice then because in mine it where predominantly men :wink:

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I think you’re right I choose “interested in women and men” and i got it 50/50 lol

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Since there are so many stats, may you please create a stat explanation in the “Show Stats” slide, so that I have a better understanding of what each stat is for?

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I believe this is cut off-

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