(I’m joking that’s not necessarily what’s going to happen 
)
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There fixed it for you. So there’s going to be a silly, cute and just awesome scene involving the MC and the Mermaid RO. It just wont contain details from that picture.
CONSPIRACY! heh Get it. Piracy? Cause… Nevermmind.
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Hehehe, the piracy pirates will have to get involved.
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Okay. But potentially a pirate RO though :))
Or generally, MC stowing away on a ship and adventures ensue (especially if mermaid tries sinking said ship)
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Man, I was reading this and thinking to myself that I really liked what you had so far (in fact I looked at this before and am tuning back in for the update) when I realized you were also the author for Draconic Challenges, one of my favourite WiPs on this site. I guess I’m just writing to say I love your work! And no matter which one you’re working on atm I’m happy 
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. Glad you’re enjoying them.I’ve updated the link with another chapter or so (about 14-15000 words or so). Sorry still haven’t finished the mermaid option at the start yet, will get there soon 
.
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“Naw miss, just cleaning out the stalls, that’s all.” The boy seemed to have perfected the same deceptively innocent expression as Dog.
Still she shakes her head unconvinced. “Take the horse, we’ll speak about his later.”
U forgot to add the t in his
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You have the option to react that you don’t believe your father, and then if you say you’re guessing you won’t like the deal, you begin getting emotional about the possibility of the deal being for Mom, before going back to not believing him. I think a good idea would be to add a sarcastic option or one where you say nothing when he mentions the deal, so someone whose protagonist is being skeptical will remain as such until proven otherwise. That also ties into the whole option of the paths and the sea maiden you’re trying to avoid comment. If I do not believe that the sea maiden exists, I do not really have any reason to have that as a con to going down that path.
I would suggest either altering that sentence based on earlier stated belief and then at that point writing the protagonist as believing in the sea maiden since, you know, we just saw her, or perhaps having the dad give more proof that the sea maiden really does exist so you don’t have to worry about people with protagonists who do not believe up to that point.
Question about the setting: is magic a confirmed thing in this world or not? I’m a bit confused since the villagers have a giant problem and we know what cyclops are, and yet the talking animals can be a surprise and we might not believe the mermaid exists.
There is a grammar error with the horse. The option is unfinished, saying “Get up and try to cover him with.”
I really do love the fairy tale feel to this game. It’s a fun and cute adventure, and I love my friend Dog and my horse Tiernay. They’re my family now.
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> “To be honest I’m not rightly sure. I guess I’ll be continuing to head along the road away from the mountain pass and see where it takes me.”
> Her hardened expression slips slightly. “Ye don’t sound like one out for a lark. I think there be more to ye story than ye be telling me. Not to worry I’m not the prying type. I’ll fetch ye something nice to eat on the way.”
> Closing the door to the kitchen behind her, she leaves you to make your way to the stables alone where you find Dog waiting. Eyes half closed he basks in the sun. “Did you bring me breakfast?”
> As if on cue, the door bangs open admitting a young boy with scruffy sandy coloured hair. Seeing Dog, his brown eyes widen in fear.
> “This be for you from the cook.” he squeaks dropping the a bundle to the cobblestones, before dashing back inside to safety.
> Dog sighs, pointing his nose back towards the warmth of the morning light as if this was a regular occurrence.
> Picking up the fallen cloth wrapped package you inspect the contents. The inkeeper must have been feeling generous as you find the package full of crispy apples, cuts of cold meat and freshly baked bread still warm from the oven. Dispite her misgivings, there’s even a few meaty bones wrapped in burlap obviously intended for Dog.
> Snatching one from your hand, Dog makes short work of pulling the remaining strips of meat from it. Leaving him to it, you walk into the darkened stable in search of Tiernay.
> As if on cue, the door bangs open admitting a young boy with scruffy sandy coloured hair. Seeing Dog, his brown eyes widen in fear.
> “This be for you from the cook.” he squeaks dropping the a bundle to the cobblestones,before dashing back inside to safety.
> Dog sighs, pointing his nose back towards the warmth of the morning light as if this was a regular occurrence.
> Picking up the cloth wrapped bundle you find it filled with cuts of cold meat and bread still warm from the oven. Despite her misgivings about Dog, there’s even a few meaty bones wrapped in pieces of burlap obviously intended for his breakfast.
> Snatching one from your hand, Dog makes short work of pulling the remaining strips of meat from it. Leaving him to it, you walk into the darkened stable in search of your mount.
This repeats, as you can see. Lovely game and when you need beta testers I’d be happy to join.
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I really love this game! I’ve always been fascinated by different culturs’ legends and I love how you’ve in cooperated the story into your own! The world you’ve developed here feels very flushed out and I adore the characters you’ve created here. I’m especially intrigued to see where this story goes and why the mermaid is so interested in us.
I also have to ask will we be able to help Fynbar? The poor kid seems so terrified, but kind. I really want to help him somehow!
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I’m always in favor of more sarcasm. Although I took the comment about him trading our mother as more of a “oh shit, dad went crazy and hurt her” reaction. Like he had drowned her in the lake to appease this imaginary (or so we think) mermaid.
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Ran across this error, just after fighting the cyclops:
part6 line 393: Invalid expression, couldn’t extract another token: . You’re bone weary from the events of today. You wish you could rest instead of riding through the night.
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@Terrell_Williams and @TheGreatDunce Thanks for finding the typos and bugs!
@ParrotWatcher Arrgh! I thought I’d fixed that bug sorry. Not sure why it’s still doing that. The story finishes right after that point for the moment (that’s all I’ve coded so far) so you haven’t missed any of it.
@RedRoses Thanks for the feedback! I do see what you mean about that section.
@SeventhJackel nailed what I was going for in that explanation. If it’s not coming across right for everyone though I can try to do some rewording or add another option in. How’s everyone else finding that section out of interest? It’s a yes for magic existing (although for most it’s not a common occurance), a no for general belief in mermaids by many people though (since they’re rarely seen/hidden underwater etc) and talking “normal” type animals are something quite unusual. The existance of some things are more wildly accepted than others and the MC has been pretty sheltered in their village to start with (although general belief in magical creatures is likely to increase with the MC with exposure as the story goes along). Not sure if that’s coming across as confusing as well, sounds like it might be. Thanks for picking up the typo also.
@RenaB Thanks for the nice comments! As for Fynbar, he’s an unplanned character that kind of crept into the storyline. To be honest I haven’t 100% decided what to do with him yet. I’ll let you know when I do
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We could adopt him… (Okay, so we’ve already got one sidekick character, but we could always have another 
)
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He could be our apprentice! We could take him in and teach him how to weild a sword just like how our dad taught us.
But @Jacic, I’m excited to see whatever you come up with!
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Hmm,
-slavery
-human shield
-blame dummy
-puppet
What we could do to him.
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Putting aside how evil this suggestion is… I can’t help but laugh at the idea of the MC going to face the mermaid and basically just shoving Fynbar in front of them like “Protect me”.
… probably wouldn’t be very effective, I’m guessing.
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I hope you’re not talking about my surrogate little brother/kidnap victim-to-be. 
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