Honestly, there’s only 3 people I’m not planning on punching, everyone else in this game is gonna catch these hands.
9 Likes
I’m very sorry but what’s the deal with the bad ending? It’s undeniably “bad”, but completely unrealistic. Not to mention that it kinda ridicules both police and court systems. Nothing was found on MC’s body and colleagues’ dislike has nothing to do with the case. Even the edited footage can be checked to see whether someone tempered with it. My whole soul was lit on fire after I read this. I’m still so salty I can’t keep reading. (>.<) I also hope I didn’t mess up with spoiler tags.
4 Likes
@Zest That’s 100% fair, I totally get that lol.
@Bulk_Biceps Thanks for pointing that out, working on it now.
@q_riley Thanks for pointing that out, I think I found and fixed those errors.
@idonotlikeusernames Whoops! I’ll work out that little typo and have it up soon. Fair not to believe the captors, I don’t know how to reply to the rest without potentially spoiling something lol, but I’m glad you’re into the story!
Also, planning on having all edits up by the end of the day, thanks everyone. I def missed a few things after staring at the screen for too long haha.
6 Likes
Hi!
The bad ending is absolute dramatization of the worst case scenario, not meant to be a commentary on the police or court systems or even particularly realistic. It felt in line as it’s not realistic to be snapped up from work and conned into being involved in a heist.
MC has no real alibi, no lawyer money and is more or less up against 5 people with connections to people who have the means to make shady things happen and ‘evidence’ appear and who might not be fond of having anyone who might get their people caught; which is why I thought to make the sentencing severe. I might consider lessening the severity of the punishment though.
The MC’s coworkers were just talking to press, nothing to do with the case. I’ll reread it though to see if I can clarify though.
You got the spoilers tags right, no worries. I’ll think on this one, thanks for the feedback, have a good one!
3 Likes
I’ll have to agree with @Walking_IMHO. That whole scene just felt unnecessary to me. Nothing wrong with forcing a certain choice on the player if the plot demands it, as long as they’re given enough reason to believe they could’ve made that choice.
4 Likes
Well not into running it, but then I don’t think the mc is running anything, if anything they are the lowest grunt and the designated fall guy now, …but how do you think the underworld gets their insiders?
Criminal organisations tend to get their insiders by picking out vulnerable people usually and the mc does fit that bill being very much working poor and homeless. The only thing is that from my knowledge the underworld tends to like recruits with better jobs and education nowadays, usually in the middle instead of at the top or bottom. Like Beth…really she could easily turn out to have been the inside woman of a rival criminal organisation, imho.
Maybe in that case they used a more conventional vulnerability to get to her…gambling, drug addiction, the usual suspects.
Although sleeper agents for the biggest criminal organisations are on the rise, but that is very much a (very) long-term gamble of putting somebody through the police academy or university and possibly waiting years until they are in a useful position to start calling in the favours. It’s also off-topic for this situation.
Yeah, maybe this is just professional deformation but I really want the mc to be able to ask Atlus how he thinks they are going to be able to legally launder a fortune into the mc’s hands…as just like in the real world it is far easier to “create” more money for the already rich as then you can use (fake) business orders or even real ones for bridges to nowhere, pre-arranged stock price manipulation, real estate schemes, etc, etc,.
By contrast the legal options for getting really substantial amounts of money into the hands of the working poor, like the mc, are really limited if you want to avoid red flags and/or getting it taxed into oblivion. So, yeah, really want to ask Atlus and co how they are planning to it (which I suspect they are not at least not any substantial amount of money anyway).
For say $50000 you can just give your grunts a “winning” ticket from a scratch card lottery but $50000 max is not a life-changing amount of money. After taxes that would barely pay for community college plus living costs for the two years that community college takes.
1 Like
@idonotlikeusernames lol no you’re right, not running it, I was still waking up. But yeah Mc is in a vulnerable place.
@angi That’s fair.
If the general consensus is that the choice is too far fetched, I could take it out. Gonna think about it.
Okay I do not want to be that one person who gives nothing but negative feedback but… I have constantly noticed that the gender of the female RO’s are constantly flipping between him/her, he/she, his/her, and it is driving me CRAZY!!! I understand every once in a while but not nearly every single page. Again sorry about the negativity but I am just unable to get a good read of a story that constantly has the ROs switching genders. Other than that I have nothing else to say but keep doing your best.
6 Likes
@AMER1CANN1NJA09 No it’s fine! I appreciate the feedback, I’m soloing this so sometimes I make a few dumb mistakes and don’t catch them. I think I got them all, sorry about that.
I believe I got all of the other technical errors with the stat chart, Ivan’s stats not coming up correct and variable errors. Thanks for all the feedback
That ok we are all doing our best
1 Like
i like it so far but can i just say, and this is just an opinion of course.
the illusion of choice on chpter 2 really irked me. i wouldve rather had it continue the narrative without giving us that choice whether or not we can follow the 4 or fail the game. it feels like its being forced on us (well me, but you get the point)
also you dont have to convince us too much about wanting a better life just continue on with the story
great job on the robyn stuff tho, saw it coming but it still hurt in the feels
3 Likes
also how do you guys do spoiler tags???
1 Like
I just want to take a poll since I know not everyone comments and might just be passing through. I’m not married to the choice of ‘Going back to your life’ early on, I could remove it entirely and just continue with the MC being forced to help them. Lemme know.
I could also have the choice circle back to the beginning of the ‘Change my life’ choice so that you can just go back. Meh, idk.
- Better without it
- Leave it in
0 voters
Thanks for the feedback. The spoiler blur is in the little settings icon to the far right, it drops down to say ‘Blur Spoiler’.
2 Likes
big thamk uwu
Alright, the people have spoken, I’m just gonna take it out and progress the story. Gonna take a little while to add that in though. Might have to rewrite some parts for fluidity but I’ll make another post when I’m done.
1 Like
I’m still working on this, life got weird for a minute so it’s a bit of a back burner project, but uhhh. Yeah I’m still working on it. Chapter 3 is a little more work to code and all and I’m trying to eliminate more of the typos and whatnot, so it’s taking a little longer, but it’s not abandoned.
17 Likes
akasnd my name is Robin so the significant other really threw me.
But I did enjoy the game!
4 Likes
Rarely is the shoe on the other foot when it comes to the Spiderman meme. It’s just as well; no excuses make up for SO!Robin’s poor decision making. 
I’m looking forward to figuring out where the real emeralds went, though. Between the time when A leaves after the close call with the unofficial tour, and Fernando’s ‘inexplicable’ disappearance is likely when we’ll be able to place the emeralds’ displacement. Odds of MC being a scapegoat before heist team’s involvement? Very high. 
2 Likes
Extremely high, as nobody at that rotten place likes mc. True mc seems to be a bit socially inept and obsessive, but that is nothing I cannot find in some public librarians around here too, for example, and certainly nothing to warrant the treatment almost everybody seems to give them.
Although my main suspects for the real heist are still the combination of Beth plus the mc’s ex the real gut punch would be if it was Fernando setting them up all along, as he was the only one who ever treated the mc like a human being…or at least pretended to, should he be the culprit.
5 Likes