Hah! Yeah, I honestly didn’t expect such strong feelings about them before I even got into the meat of the story. I feel like it’s a fun challenge now, to give the RO’s a chance to redeem or doom themselves more before the end of it all haha
12 Likes
I mean, I think it was to be expected about R, since most people consider cheating to be the worst thing. For me it’s okay since, as I said, I like the betrayal and mending trope, and it doesn’t matter if it’s cheating or something else.
The thing about the rest of the team… hmm, I think it’s because the first contact there is with the MC is so bad. Like, you don’t have the time to get attached to the team before they actually do something awful to the MC and basically ruin their life. A is a special case because there is the deception at the start, which for some people may leave the time to at least appreciate them a bit, but for others (like me) it makes the thing even worse since it’s even more cruel and sneaky. Not to mention the attemtped kiss (which really pissed me off even more 
) and the blackmail.
Now, one can argue R is the same, since they basically show up in the story and immediately hurt the MC, but to me it’s a different trope since it’s not the first meeting between the MC and the character - only the first time the player sees them. For the others, yeah, I hate them because the very premise is that they attack, maybe hurt, and force the MC to commit a crime (which is something I have a particular pet peeve towards - not so much something I hate seeing in stories, but something that always affects me really strongly).
But yeah, basically, I think people in general react so strongly because there is no RO who’d be actually nice to the MC, and everyone hurts them - and considering the MC is already at a low point in their life, which produces an extreme feeling of “unfairness” and make them appear as bullies.
But again, I’m not saying that as a bad thing! It’s just an explanation to the extreme reactions people may have. And well, obviously it’s only my take on that!
Doesn’t change the fact I love R
10 Likes
I have to be honest, reading this was nerve wracking, especially how helpless the MC was. So far, I don’t see how any positive relationships can be formed with these guys, let alone a romance (at least a healthy one). But then again, that’s how I felt about the RO’s for a good part in book one of Wayhaven but then I ended obsessing over everyone there so, my heart is easily swayed haha.
I am enjoying this though, any IF that makes me feel this strongly is highly anticipated to me!
13 Likes
To be fair in Wayhaven even if some of them were mean at first, their job was to just watch over you and protect you. Here they discuss whether to kill you or leave you and take the blame and after one of them already manipulated you earlier, plus finding out the other one has been cheating on you with your coworker who you can’t even punch.
9 Likes
Well they all kinda didn’t have the best first impressions considering they are pretty much just an inch away from fucking up our MC’s life even more. Personally, I think its way to early to judge the RO characters yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see where the story will unfold.
2 Likes
Bingo! I feel that way about R, too (I hate people like him).
But yeah, not only are none of the ROs decent to the MC, they aren’t even attracted to the MC (R included). It’s like the MC is this scraggly stray dog that everyone kicks because they know the dog won’t bite. It makes me feel bad for the MC, but it makes me frigging hate all of the ROs (and boss and the skanky bitch who banged the MC’s bf and then kicked her when she was down).
Right now, the NPCs are utterly horrible, except for Fernando, and they’re starting out so low that it’s going to take a lot to make any of them palatable for me as a reader and my MC as a character. A had possibility, with what could’ve been attraction, but even that is shown to be fake for the purpose of getting what A wants, and he’s perfectly willing to destroy the MC. There’s no attraction with any of them, they’re just nasty, abusive bastards.
My feelings, exactly.
That said, I’m still interested in this game. But, instead of wanting a romance with any of these pricks, I just want to see the MC destroy every last one of them–the boss and bitch included–take all the money for herself, and go live on a beach the rest of her life. Unfortunately, after finding a “you’re dead” scene, I have a feeling that, in order to survive, the MC is going to have to kiss these jerks’ asses, beg for mercy, and get shit on some more.
22 Likes
I still want to believe there is a path for sabotaging them and helping the police get them. I don’t mind the MC supposedly “cooperating” with them if they actually work against, secretly!
Also, from what I see from your post, it seems B is a woman in your playthrough, and your MC too, but R a man, right? It’s interesting, I didn’t check that in the code specifically, and I was wondering if B’s gender was always the opposite gender to the MC (mine is male) or opposite to R (male in my case too). I guess it’s opposite to R, then, since B’s a woman in my playthrough too.
Yeah, it’s really not an important detail 
I guess the fact B was a woman stood out to me, because oftentimes in these games, ROs with “past relationships” had these with people of the same gender as the MC, unless they are stated to be bisexual, and I kind of assumed the same thing here even if it’s not a past relationship, I don’t know why.
Yeah, that’s true, but honestly, I personally don’t even mind the fact they consider killing the MC or whatever - that’s commonplace in enemies to lovers scenarios for example, and I like that trope. What really really bothers me, as mentionned above, is the general trope of forcing/blackmailing the protag into a criminal activity or something going against their beliefs that irks me to the highest point.
Oh I won’t argue with the fact it may be too early to judge them on a personal level as people, at least more deeply. But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to judge them in the context presented to us and by their actions, as ROs. Like, who knows, maaaaybe at some point in the far future, I’ll actually like one of the members of the criminal team, but I can already say I’ll never like any of them as a RO.
With that being said, I also can’t NOT judge them because well, what they did was one of my biggest nopes in fiction
Of course, excluding R here - I don’t have issues with them.
1 Like
Trouble is I don’t see that leading to anything better for the mc either. Best case scenario the mc turns evidence for the prosecution, so they escape any criminal liability…yay. 
But after that the boss will probably still fire them for carelessness and with what little I know of US employment laws he’s well within his rights to do so. In addition he may even bring a civil suit against the mc over any damages sustained to the museum and a deal with the prosecution/police won’t protect the mc from any of that. 
Which still only leaves the “career” in fast food, if they’re lucky. 
With potentially a lot of debt in civil liability if the boss sues the mc over any real or perceived damages to the museum.
I do R abandons the mc at their lowest point. It’s not illegal sure, but it is still an incredibly shitty thing to do. So good riddance to them too. 
14 Likes
Somehow A here reminds me of the book Catch Me If You Can……
2 Likes
I keep wanting to, but I’m so hesitant about trying this… I have a decent idea of how it is based on the replies, and I don’t think it’s something I could play through (as I’ve had similar experiences in other games, and it’s very triggering for me). But I’m extremely curious if it’s as bad as I’m expecting, and I want to keep up on reading every WIP at least once.
I’m so conflicted.
I’m hooked! Who doesn’t love a good heist story? I’m really liking the writing so far. It’s just humorous enough. The characters are interesting so far too! As many people in the thread have already expressed, big yikes about R. I’m interested to see how you’ll make them work as a RO considering they’re pretty shitty right now. I can just imagine the sweet angst if you do pull it off though.
The only somewhat negative feedback I have is that I wish there were more choices. It’s kind of frustrating that we don’t get an option to kick R out of the apartment, or that we’re stuck with an MC who very dearly needs to grow a backbone. That being said, I totally understand if that’s what you’re aiming for with this story. Some MCs are more blank slates than others, I guess I’m just curious if it’s set in stone that the MC in this story has a preconceived personality already. If that’s the case I’d love to see the MC grow a pair (figuratively speaking) later on.
9 Likes
Hi! Maybe hold out for like the third or fourth update. In the beginning the story is a little linear. I know there are a lot of strong feelings for the intro, which I expected based on the plot so far to some extent, but my intention is to write a character who is feeling helpless, yet has the potential to regain control of their own life and grow into themselves… or not depending on choices Hope that helps!
3 Likes
Hi! I know the story is a little linear in the beginning in terms of life choices, but that’s kind of what I wanted for writing a character who’s life is a little out of control, buuuut I don’t plan on writing it that way the entire way through haha
1 Like
I am curious to see how you’ll manage that, as it is not like the mc has anything at all going for them right now. Like @EvilChani said none of the ro’s, including R, seems to be attracted to the mc.
In R’s case I think they fell in love with a much younger mc, who while poor at least seemed to have a future until they got fired from that second job and couldn’t afford their elite college anymore. So I think it is pretty clear that at present R is no longer attracted to the mc anymore and to be fair years of grinding poverty have probably done their looks no favours.
Which also means I can’t see how any of the ro’s including the supermodel could ever be genuinely attracted to them, instead of using, like R does, their looks and charm to attempt to manipulate the mc.
11 Likes
See, this just makes me hate R more. When you love someone–actually love someone–then you stick by them and their looks don’t matter as much as what’s inside (otherwise, when people started aging, they’d just dump each other and try to find someone younger). Yes, poverty won’t help the MC’s looks, but that doesn’t mean they have to be ugly, and what’s inside should matter more. Plus, you don’t have to be rich to take a shower, comb your hair, wash your face, etc. Maybe the MC can’t afford makeup anymore, but so what.
My point is that, if R ever actually loved the MC, their life may be difficult, but he wouldn’t just turn on her and bang that skank right under her nose. So while the others may find the MC physically repulsive, they don’t know her. R does, but that obviously doesn’t matter to them either. And R doesn’t even respect the MC enough to be honest with her, he just screws a bitch right under her nose, not caring if she finds out or not.
It leads me to believe that R hooked up with the MC for her looks or sex or possibly because he thought she’d make a bunch of money and he could sponge off of her, which makes him just as big of a pile of shit as the rest of the ROs. Worse, actually, because he made her think he cared. The others tell her in front of her face they want to murder her or that she can help them or be killed. Except for A, none of the others have deceived her. A ranks right down there with R, in my opinion. Blech.
Yep. I can’t either. I think it might have helped if R had shown any sort of care, or if he’d left messages apologizing/expressing regret/saying anything that shows him to be a halfway decent human being, but instead it just seems weird, especially with Beth posting pictures of them being all lovey dovey on social media and rubbing it in the MC’s face.
17 Likes
Wasn’t implying it did, unless it is the homeless kind…and the mc is not quite there yet.
Make that finding time and money for a gym membership, in the case of mine.
Well I think that when they hooked up R might have thought that while the mc obviously didn’t come from a wealthy background they were smart and seemed to be going somewhere at their elite college…until the mc got fired from their stupid second job, which started their downward spiral that ends with the events of the game. 
Have you been stalking my life, author? The mc’s life seem very miserable like mine… 
I like heists stories and definitely will accompany yours because is very promising. Really waiting for the continuation. :}
2 Likes
I mean I wouldn’t say I like R, but since I absolutely love angst I’m definitely gonna see where their romance path goes
3 Likes
Hi! I know I didn’t get this far in the game, but I feel like I should mention that age/ physical appearance was not on my mind when I wrote R’s deeds, I feel like I should make that kind of clear.
I also want to say that I purposefully made my story characters of this age range because I just feel there’s a stigma that life kinda ends at 30 and that wherever you are by then is where you stay. I want to write a story that kind of gives the vibe that you can always make a change even after feeling like you couldn’t after a long time.
I’m trying to say this without any spoilers, so I’m not going to give anything away regarding their relationship but I really wanted to make this much clear at least so as people don’t misunderstand where I’m coming from as the writer.
Thanks for reading my work!
34 Likes
pretty good start! the scene where mc walks in on R made my stomach turn so props to you for that. i get secondhand embarrassment easily, lol. i’m a total sucker for anything that involves heists so i knew i’d enjoy this.
i completely agree with everyone saying the RO’s are dislikable so far, but i kind of like it? like, realistically speaking, if you’re stealing from a museum, you’re probably not looking for a relationship with one of the employees there. at least, not a real one. i’m not bothered by the fact they consider offing the mc either, it makes sense in their situation i can’t fault them for being realistic. even if it makes me not like them.
i do agree having the mc show A the back room over a sob story, that may or may not be real, felt forced in. i think having the option to let them in or having them walk in anyway when the mc tells them they can’t would be best, but it’s your game! this is only a suggestion.
my main issue is how grouped together every paragraph is. it makes reading it clunky and hard to stay focused (at least, for me) so i’d recommend separating paragraphs, especially when there’s dialogue. always break paragraphs apart when there’s dialogue. it’ll make the read a lot smoother! there was issues with the grammar, mainly missing commas in dialogue, but those are easily fixed. only noticed all the little mistakes because i’m so used to betaing for people, lol.
anyway, loved what you’ve done so far and will be keeping up with it. do you have a tumblr btw? or did i just miss the link somewhere.
15 Likes