Wow a breakup immediately. All MCs are on a roll! 
Rest in pieces my heart. 
Also yay fellow lover of angst!
Ahem, anyway… At the moment I don’t have much to comment on plot wise. Will need to read more. 
I do like the characters so far though! So far the fav is Tony for me haha.
And…well…here comes the more harsher part. 
For reference, all the ROs are men in my playthrough so confusion with names abound if the ROs are…female for you, reader? Yes.
- I forgot that Anthony preferred to be called Tony and was confused when Anthony’s name popped up a lot outside dialogue. Thought Anthony was an entirely different character whoops. It’ll be easier to stick with one of their names. Tony perhaps since he prefers to be called that? If you don’t want us to forget his other name, there could be someone else who calls him Anthony to push his buttons.
- There was a saying at the beginning… I think roommates during the breakup moment? Was Matthew our roommate or was that an idiom? Would be interesting to have a stranger for a roommate. Yes, I will remain salty about the breakup even if the love is gone for the MC
Screenshots for other stuff I noticed!
Awkward sentence here. In particular the concrete and puddles. I’m assuming concrete is sidewalk or a pathway of some sort. And as for the puddle being fed…from the rain? Raindrops falling into puddles? Oof I’m not actually sure how to suggest to fix it except to point it out.
Instead of wave, cold season could work better? Delete -ly from Mostly. Though you don’t need the word in the first place. ‘All’ works too. Something like “All the shops are open with a few customers inside.”
Stray code text ahead!
It’ll help to have an English proofreader to catch awkward sentences and the like. But still. huge kudos for wanting to improve in another language. Heck, I’m an English speaker and can’t English a lot of the time. To be honest there’s a lot that I didn’t screenshot… I’m sure that having a huge list will be intimidating, but er, if you want that do say so!