Ruins of Anaria (W.I.P)

#1

So I’ve been working on this for about a month or so, but in reality its only been approx 20 minutes.

This is mostly due to lack of motivation.

So I’m posting this thread to gain some feedback and get motivation to continue with the game.

Warning: It won’t be like other CoG on this site. It doesn’t make use of stats, nor doe’s it have any variables.

“What kind of dark sorcery is this?” I hear you say. Well there are two reasons for that.

  1. I don’t yet feel comfortable enough to do all that personally.
  2. I’m writing this in the style of old choose your own adventure books. Books like the old goosebumps stories for example.

This is mainly because kids now a days have lots of technology and don’t spend much time reading books. Hopefully by creating a simple choose your own adventure, I can lure them in to the market of reading on their phones/tablets/etc while their young. So it *may* be a bit less mature than your all use to.

So here is the link: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/166581484/web/mygame/index.html

I haven’t written much, only a few pages. You will also notice that each new page is a *chapter*. This is something I plan to change when I get the motivation.

Thoughts and opinions anyone?

Please note: This is my first multiple choice story attempt. While I have written stories before (and had a few published locally) I haven’t tried to do anything like this. As such, if the dialogue or choices seem… Idk, off I guess, that’s my reason why.

#2

Well it DOES use variables, as your name is stored in a variable, no? :stuck_out_tongue:
But if that’s all they’re used for, I’d be interested to see how things turn out - I think it’ll be a lot harder than you think, to write traditional branches without stored data. The target audience is a nice thought though!

#3

@CJW

Haha you know what I mean, but good catch on the name. I wasn’t going to include it at first, but thought it would draw the younger audience in more.

With the branching, I’m still umming and ahhhing about that. I too am interested to see how this will turn out.

#4

Uhhh…I have a bit of mixed feelings on this, I used to read several of the goosebumps Choose your own adventures…And I thouroughly enjoyed them…But something I have noticed is that I find them hard to go back and do…I mean I already know the best ending so why go back??

Thats why I like modern COG’s they give you several ways to do something and get difrent results…

Also This may not appeal to the age group you want. Because unfrotunetly kids are growing naturally smarter, Which means they wont be satisfied with one set path.

Ether way…I wish you the best. and will at least give this game a try!

#5

@Greenwolf

I plan on having, I hope, a dozen or so different paths, depending on previous choices. E.g. If you head towards the green light, you will get scenes A or B which will then lead to C or D compared to if you go the other way which will get X or Y and Z or L respectively.

I’m not very good with words, ill have to do more and get my point across practically.

#6

Nothing wrong with having no stats or variables.

The best examples of games with few, if any, “variables” I can think of are EndMasters creations. Necromancer, and its follow up Death Song, had long and deep story lines, with distinct branches as well. Even the non-true endings were remarkable.

Same goes with Ground Zero, which has even more epilogues I think, but I think Eternal takes the cake; it has 8 epilogues, each unique from each other.

In these kinds of games, the replayability factor comes because you have a sense of “what if?” or just genuine curiosity about other paths you might’ve taken. Also, the story element takes precedence over the game element. It doesn’t detract from the experience though; in fact, it might’ve enhanced it.

Judging by your last statement your game might be very broad in scope, so if you’re concerned about replayability, try not to create a “true” ending but instead gun for having multiple viable ones.

True enough, 1 true ending vs multiple endings have their own pros and cons, but in the end its up to you which one you’ll implement; hopefully you choose the path that coincides with your objectives.

#7

Nice start so far. It’s been too long since I was in the target age group for me to judge it in those terms, but it certainly reminds me of those old-fashioned CYOA books I used to get as a kid.

Two readability issues:

You seem to have an excess page break after each choice. Are you actively putting *page_break commands in? If yes, you don’t need to.

Also, in the dialogue portions, whenever a new person starts talking (the PC vs. Cecilia), be sure to break a new paragraph. It makes things much easier to follow.

#8

@Wonderboy

Nope, only one page break and that’s in scene one. The others are all new scenes (at least for now) as it helps me keep track of where I am.

That’s for the tip with the dialogue!

#9

This is pretty cool, I just can’t wait until it gets longer. You could always merge a few choices, like you can go down two different paths to the same location in the end. Still really awesome though!

#10

@lackofmops

You know, there’s something really familiar about your profile pic… It’s as if its mine but backwards. No it couldn’t be, I must be seeing things.

Okay it’s been decided, I’m going to start working on this properly now.

I’ll keep you posted for updates!

#11

Lol wolfie it is but that is unintentional -_- no, really. Maybe I should change it.

#12

That’s not nessessary. I meant it more as a joke than anything else

#13

Aside from a few minor updates, I’ve put this on hold for at least a few days.

Rest assured though, when I get back to it, progress will be steady. I’m expecting the next major update to incorporate a few more paths, and maybe an early ending or two.