Attack on titan vibes this is goated asf
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So I’m still in trial scene and there was never a discussion on fingerprints on the switchblade. I think that might be a big major plot hole for the whole murder accusation since MC and Alice didn’t touch the switchblade at all and someone else’s fingerprint should be there instead. I found it very weird that the very basic crime investigation system isn’t considered at all.
@lynossa I might be wrong lol it’s been a while since played the demo so it’s kinda fuzzy but I would assume they don’t have that kinda of ability like we do. Plus there’s this vague recollection of how it was somehow in our possession and thus we were guilty since it was considered a crime to own said weopan and not be military. Lol it rubbed me wrong sorta like hey we can prove we didn’t kill him but can’t be exonerated of the weopan bit? Yet it’s what keeps the story going and getting us into the military so I’m not really mad about it cause it pushes the story along lol.
But it only requires powder and brush; the old fashion way to check fingerprints.
I get it that it propelled the the story to the place it needed but I everything else is perfect that this one big hole is rather jarring.
The court trial was a sham from the very beginning and a prime example of how fragile the judicial system is.
A powerful and influential socialite, strong-arming false witnesses to testify in their favor, against us. There were only two actual witnesses present at the “crime scene” when it occurred (the two “friends”) and their testimony could have made all the difference - had they spoken up that it was an accident and he stabbed himself, chances are there would have been no trial at all. Funny, how they never even showed up for the trial… would have probably been silenced anyway.
IMO the scales were tipped against us. This wasn’t a fair court trial, the lord was dead set on getting us screwed over, one way or another. Also, how do I know the judge wasn’t in cahoots with the lord? After that whole fiasco, the dagger was just the excuse they needed to get us into the fire again. We have a saying in our country that roughly translates to; “Seeking hairs on an eggshell”. Basically, looking for minute things where there are none, to stir up trouble.
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That I understand but why the defense team didn’t even consider that loophole?
Edit: something like ‘I’d like to point out that the suspects fingerprints had not been found on thr murder weapon,’ or even the angle of the fingerprints existed on the weapon showed that the blade is inward.
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here here but we got to be glad he got f… over in the end
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@IvoryOwl well actually unless somethings changed in the demo both witnesses the friends of the kid who ended up causing his own death. Were at the trial there family’s were threatened by the lord who wanted us punished.
So yeah it was a sham he was doing everything he could to get the mc and are friend to pay no matter that his child was the cause of his own death.
Though I think the judge was a follower of the law it was possible that she was in cahoots lol I tend to think she was unbias though just a feeling on that front.
Hmm in the end on the whole fingerprint thing think the author might have best chance of answering that when they get the chance.
Hi everybody…Varyn here. In the month of February, I changed my account password cause it was showing suspicious activity and then like an idiot I forgot the password and forgot to update my phone number for that account. I tried to reclaim it but all attempts ended in failure and I had to make a new account.
However…I did have the brains to save my progress and all the night hunters files and demo are still safe.
I am really sorry for not responding to the posts for such a long time. My exams which were scheduled for the month of March have been postponed to June. So the next updates will be probably come after 10th of June or so depending on the date sheet as the COVID cases are increasing in my country.
No? Should I have one?
Interesting point. The touching part is out and so is the finger print part because Lord Gezer’s lawyer had registered official papers claiming the MC as the owner of the switchblade. You can’t make a claim in court without evidence. The switchblade and its papers were registered in court as evidence.
The shopkeeper ruins your moment by dropping ceramic vases and curses his bad luck. Man I need to edit A LOT OF STUFF.
If you are reffering to the shift then think of it like a non lacy, comfortable corset. I invented it for a Non Binary MC.
Death is only the beginning…
Yup will be fixing that…
Hmm…you make a good point. I’ll mellow down those scenes.
Damn…spellcheck did it again…
Cannons are heavy and not easily to transport along with the fact that cannons are not attack weapons in this book. Think basics…cannons can be used to break down walls of forts but here the enemy isn’t human. 78% of Sienna’s cannons are equipped along the walls and the rest are divided between the armored infantry and night hunter units.
Remember that these planes resemble the planes of the second world war. They can carry ammo and run supply runs and they do transport people. Don’t worry, I will be adding a section for weapons and equipment in the next update.
It is thanks to thee that the night hunters continues to exist. Thank you.
Yeah I love youtube and I did watch majorkill…it gave me some mighty twisted ideas 
.
Sorry…want me to edit that or…?
It’s a glitch. Yikes…I need to practice my coding.
Great…now its stuck in my head too. 
Good idea. I’ll be adding that in the update.
{evil laugh}
That’s basically the moral of every bedtime story.
That’s spoiler territory.
A special thank you to everybody for encouraging and appreciating my work. 
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That’s entirely up to you but it’ll make it easier for people to follow your progress 
Plus many creators answer asks and post teasers for various reasons.
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Not really, not everyone has a tumblr and pretty much everyone following this story is on the forum. Pretty much anything that’s posted there can be on here instead.
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I’m happy you’re still alive and a smart idea change your account if you found suspicious activity
Would you rather deal with dead space Necromorphs that will come after you until you’re dead that will make you into a monster when they kill you and in with the Psychopaths who believe in a god that is a pillar that is mind control device that turns people into monsters or attack on Titan giant monsters that can Crush you with a single step and if you have a Blood Simple step bloodline they’ll make you into Titan lose your mind the process of becoming one and don’t forget about the people who hate you and might destroy around the world
Heeey! So, I have discovered this WIP a few days ago, and I’m hooked!
Seriously, you mentionned a couple of franchises as inspiration sources, and while I DO see where do these come from, I actually don’t like any of these franchises - aside maybe from the Jurassic World movies but eh, I don’t like them a lot either, I just don’t hate them. SO I was a bit wary of this WIP at first, considering it’s inspired by three things I don’t like. But somehow it works, and I love it!
Now, with that being said, I’d like to report a few mistakes I saw.
During the party:
"He looks around at the young faces all around him and smiles. Oh…yes…He remembers the day when Alina and him had come here for her passing out party. Alina was 4 years older than him and treated him like he was still a baby.
They had lost their mother when he was about 4 years old and Alina was 6. He never really missed his mother because Alina took her place and took care of him. She wasn’t just an older sister to him, but a mother as well."
In that first part, it says “Alina was 4 years older than him”, but then it says “he was about 4 years old and Alina was 6” - that makes her 2 years older.
In Allori's flashback with baby MC:
I’m not sure if this is an error or if I misunderstand the line:
“He then squinted at the baby and tried to think of something, he could say to her.”
In my playthrough, the MC is male. So if it’s talking about the baby, then there’s a pronoun mistake. And well, since the mother asked him to say something to the baby, I guess it is. BUT if it actually refers to the mother, then it’s okay.
Doggo's name:
If I select the name Dash for the dog, it get converted to Racer on the next page.
Name inconsistencies:
Some names are not the same in the RO descriptions in the original post and in the game. Like Allor vs Allori or Ashton vs Asher.
Not really mistakes, but other details that bothered me a bit, now…
The admission letter:
MC and Basri are not from the same family, so wouldn’t it make sense for the academy to have made two separate letters, if it’s to be believed the decision was made before the accusation and not as a last minute resort.
I guess the fact MC’s father acted as legal guardian for Basri is an explanation, to an extent, but considering both the MC and Basri are adults, I still think each of them should have been adressed a separate letter.
As far as the text goes, it wouldn’t be a big change - the judge could read out loud the letter adressed to one of the two, and then mention the other one is identical, except for the name written on it.
Perception:
There’s that part where Basri comments about the fact the Air Marshal was looking at MC when they talked, and MC answering they didn’t notice at all. But Perception is my MC’s highest stat at that point… shouldn’t the text have some variant here, for perceptive MCs?
Once the MC's in Gate Briar and gets to question the doc:
I think it would be better to make new questions appear after getting info related to it from the previous ones. As it is, if I look at the entire list of questions before asking any, things like “Do you know what team I have been assigned to?” is a spoiler, because neither the MC or player knows the MC has been assigned to any sort of team. And it would be better to not make appear the “That’s all” either, just so players don’t skip important information.
A good example would be having these from the start, as they seem logical:
- Where am I?
- How did I get here?
- Where are the others? Alistair, Sergeant T, Geoff…
And maybe the “That’s all” but greyed out, unselectable. The others could appear once the MC get the info related to it, if that makes sense? Or at least make them greyed out so it wouldn’t be possible to learn things out of order.
RO selection:
The RO selection came a bit early in my opinion? I had an idea about the RO I wanted to pursue, so I’ll manage, but there’s VERY little time and opportunities to interact with Vern, Iryn and Carter, so people who don’t have a clear choice made before playing could have a harder time deciding?
I understand that you’d want to offer the RO selection at that point considering it’s chapter 7, but as it is, the only RO players truly get to interract with is Basri, so really, the choice comes very early.
Well, at least it’s my personal opinion, of course!
Feet vs cm?:
Could it be possible to add the heights in cm during the height selection for the MC? I can’t for the love of me understand feet, and I have to go and convert each option just to select it. Having both would be great. Not to mention, if you check the MC’s height in the stats, it actually IS in cm only.
I’d love a “x’xx’’ (xxx cm)” for both the selections and the stat screen!
Repetition:
While I didn’t keep track of typos, there’s a fair share of repetition in the writing. Like, using twice or thrice the same word in a short amount of text, instead of searching for alternatives. That’s the only complaint I have writing-wise. When I write something, I tend to re-read entire segments just to see if I didn’t repeat a word too many times in it, since I do have the same issue.
Well, I think that would be it! I don’t really have actual questions per se.
That aside, I would like to mention just how much I LOVE the MC’s and Basri’s relationship on the friendship route. It’s so sweet and heartwarming.
Okay, now I’m done! Thanks for the great experience so far!
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I’d argue you can’t do asks in the same as on the blog 
But it’s not what everyone wants to do and I’m not trying to pressure anyone.
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Found this wip not to long ago (2days ago) just got around to reading and I’m speechless! 
This is some really good stuff love the romance options. And absolutely 
% love the different personalities you came up with. Plus as soon as I saw this is was inspired by AOT, I was like hmmm… ‘yeah we definitely reading this!’ That aside hope all goes well with exams got my own to worry about 
, and can’t thank you enough for the 7ch I got to enjoy so much writing 
and can’t wait till next update will keep one eye open till then 
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Okay…when you put it that way…I’d rather be on a chopping block.
Yeah…that one needs an edit.
Okay…codes again…
Could you pinpoint these for me?
The system works another way, Alice/ Alistair’s legal guardian under duress besides their grandmother is the MC’s father. I think I did mention that. That’s why they have the same letter. But if you would prefer it, I’ll change it.
Well now that you mention it…I did put in that option for both perception as well as intelligence. Did anybody get it?
Makes sense. I’ll put that option for the later chapters.
Sure, I’ll edit it in.
I know. I’ll try to edit those chapters once more.
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I can’t really open anything right now, cause I have a lot on my plate. But I will definitely think it through after my exams.
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It’s just the descriptions you made of the characters in the original post here on the forum. I assume you changed the names later on. Like, your RO description in the first post of the topic says “Ashton / Ashlyn Ascot Maneryn”, but the male Maneryn in the game is called Asher.
Oh, I see…
I may have missed that line then? No need to change the system because of my comment, but I honestly can’t remember it being explained, and I assumed he said he was Basri’s guardian so that he would be allowed to get the letter.
But really, I was mostly mentionning it because as adults the MC and Basri should recieve letters too? Or maybe the letter should be adressed to MC’s father saying his son and protegee have been admitted?
Anyway, thanks checking out my lenghty comment!
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