When someone who has lived a happy and sheltered life, sees that much blood they go into shock. That and Cruger is a person who has bullied the MC and their best friend all their life. The MC has never seen death or violence before and in such conditions people either go into shock or if they have been trained, their training sets in and they take action. Remember that the MC is only 18 years old. Situations like this tend to fly over the heads and everything blurs out.
Life is abrupt, you never know what tomorrow’s going to bring.
Look sweetie…I am going to need you to be a little more specific here.
A person has an accident, the MC and their friend rushes to get the doctor who is at their house since its after hours. The others carry Cruger to the clinic and then set off to inform the parents of everyone involved. The MC and their friend stay back at the clinic because no body likes to stay all alone in a hospital room without anybody around. What do you think feels abrupt or skipped over?
You stopped reading at that point and are complaining that the aftermath was skipped, if you had read the entire chapter, you would have reached a conclusion regarding that as the first turning point is set.
The book is not based on real life and neither is the lore. At least I hope so, with all the problems we face on a daily basis, skipping out the nightmarish divryns is a mercy.
The phrases , the words, the comparisons and everything will make sense if you would read the intro to my post and the lore I have put in the stats. This book features a different world all together, a world that is merely a shadow of ours.
Punctuations, I agree I can work on.
Do me a favor, get yourself some comfort food and power through my demo all the way to the end. Let me know if anything else catches your eye.
Hi, I need a little help here. If anybody is doing a replay of the Night Hunters from the beginning (cause like I said, I modified a lot of the content) Let me know if there are any issues. I think I might have messed up because, it seems like there’s an issue with the pacing and the dialogues and my writing. I did work on it, but I don’t think up to the bar I have in my head. Could any of you play through Chapter 1, 2, 3, for me and tell me what’s wrong.
No! Do not speak that name child! You must never speak that name! How many times must I tell you! No they who shall not be named must never be spoken about…
"I’ll just slay them again. I am Varyn the mighty mage! No foul divryns can plague the world as long as I reign!"
But for real, divryns are a rare breed. We must let them live in their natural habitat. That is why the government of Sienna under the wise ruler, Varyn, has declared these creatures as the national animal. Thus possession, poaching or killing of these creatures is a punishable offence.
But, I won’t do any of these…
I’m gonna free these poor divryns from the world you created… I’m the Nightmare Empress and these creatures should be free…
Woah…slow down. These creatures aren’t like horses or cows. You can’t keep them near humans, That’s why Sienna has a wildlife sanctuary built for them right outside their walls!
I would poach/kill/resurrect them, if my reward was having Elori come hunting me. Then I can flirt flirt flirt and flirt.
Then flirt a bunch more. Well the diveren stands there, looking kind of bored, kind of sad, and kind of like: how did I come to this? Then I gave it a cookie, because everyone likes cookies.
Then I give Elori a cookie.
That’s all, while I consider naming my new pet undead diveren, Tath?
I apologize if it has been explained in the lore and I somehow missed but… how did Divs came about? I mean, what is their religious/scientific reason for existing? Is it a punishment? An experiment gone wrong? Are they eldritch creatures that crossed the veil into this world?
DIVRYN vs VARYN 
: “I shall eat…you…Varyn…Ashyver…”
: “I created you and thus I can end you too, oh vile creature”
