Thank you so much, feedback like this is a great motivator for all writers.
Hmmm…go to chapter 5 and go with the lowest stat for your plan, like if your lore is the lowest then pick that. The scene that comes on, gives you a clue.
This is actually a really good evaluation, but if I tell you anything it comes in spoilers category…
Think about it like this, not everybody has the skill or training like Asher/Ashlyn. The only way to kill a Category D is by slicing it’s underbelly. Now try to visualize getting underneath the darn thing.
What I’m imagining is a whole bunch of tar and entrails oozing out of that thing once its belly is cut open. I don’t envy whoever risks their life doing that, all the more so knowing they could very well get a gory shower for it if not careful (double points for the fact the tar is corrosive as heck, like Xenomorph blood, IIRC).
Cold blooded is when the killing doesn’t affect you or you bury your emotions under a layer of ice. Sadistic is when the killing brings you joy and satisfaction. Personally I would go for sadistic, cause where is the fun in the ice hearted one?
Whatever reason, I’m not getting the update. The game still ends, after we get Tracy lorries POV, and she saying she’s going to off the MC if necessary. Is there like a part two link or something?
Also, that joke wasn’t too bad. I had a lot worse back in high school. Side, high school. The place of bad jokes, and worst jokes.
Found one error, I picked female for the medical officer, but it says his, when you go to the questions. I forget which question it is at the moment though.
Is when you first wake up, when you are asking about the team and such. Before you start going to the base.
Also. Yay! I like the new update. All the new people
Maybe doing this at 4 o’clock in the morning was a bad idea, but. All the people!
(Ahem, I’m not a native English speaker so please excuse any grammar mistake haha)
I thought the letter part was neat and was excited to see the same quality throughout the rest but instead I couldn’t help but notice that the writing quality deteriorated steadily through chapter one.
The pacing was odd and the dialogues felt quite unnatural and jarring. Eg: After Cruger was stabbed the dialogue options kind of ignored the fact that someone was bleeding out in front of them just a few seconds ago.
The aftermath was skipped over in favour of rushing to the next part and honestly that was the point that made me decide to stop reading. I personally hate writers that are hellbent on navel gazing everything but this rushed pace is painful to read.
The dialogues overall got me thinking “who talks like that in real life?” and it bothers me so much. A few phrases didn’t make sense and some punctuations were poorly chosen.
I’d suggest keeping an eye on the pacing and revise the dialogues to be more natural and less AI generated. Think about what a normal human being would say haha
