When everyone is crying over the cat and father’s death but you played a cold unfeeling psychopath
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Thanks so much, @nickm!
@Natman1025
Aww, c’mon, everyone cried at that part. 
Nah, I made different character types for a reason. 
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Ugh. Sorry, but, did I just buy a demo? 'Cause, it sure feels like I did. IMHO, the characters all felt bland(apart from Mom and Dad). The decisions, albeit there are quite a number of them, didn’t really have much of an impact(unless you let the demon take over, and even then it’s predictable). The ROs were too few, and, with all due respect, crap. None of them commanded attention, none of them left an impression. As for the story, it was cookiecutter, and while I am all too willing to accept cliches and tropes, the execution just didn’t do them justice. Then, you have the pacing where it took about 3/4 of the game just to pick up.it just dragged on and on with your daily life, until, lo and behold, the actual story starts at the next installation.
Anyway, no disrespect intended, I’m just really, really disappointed with the game. As I’ve said, it really felt more like a demo than a complete game. Sorry for the rant.
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- You did mean disrespect. I’m not 4.
- I’ve never heard of a 230,000 word demo in my life.
- The decisions do have an impact on the story, and that’s not disputable. Hence the total length being 230k and the play through length being 60k.
- 4 ROs is not too few in my opinion, and apparently that opinion is shared by the vast majority of my fans. You’re maybe the second person who has told me there aren’t enough ROs.
- Violet is a sociopathic necromancer with a bald head and tattoos on her forehead. Mabelin is a snarky warrior with a giant mohawk. I’m not gonna argue against your opinion, but to say that they’re forgettable and bland is bewildering.
- The summary of the story and the demo should have made it very clear that this was a slice of life game. The vast majority of my readers enjoyed it, supposedly because of the writing, characters, and romance. There are heavy bullying, romance, and fantasy themes, but the plot of TMB is more relaxed than most of the games here, and I make no apology about that.
- I don’t accept your apology for ranting.
- I would say that I appreciate your feedback, but I don’t. I only appreciate constructive feedback.
- Yes, I’m childish, unprofessional, and petty. Anyone who has seen me on this forum would know that.
Funnily enough, right before @Deus_Ex_Veritas posted his essay, I was about to ask all of you for your opinion. Why do most of the bad reviews on TMB say that the writing and characters are so bland and cliche? There aren’t many bad reviews compared to the good ones, but they’re all pretty vicious and most of them say the same sort of stuff.
I’m just a bit confused, and I’m also doing my best to grow as a writer, so your thoughts on this are valuable. It seems like most of you on this thread have said how you really like the characters, romance, and writing, but then some people on the markets vehemently say the opposite, and I’m trying to wrap my head around why that is.
There are obviously going to be differences of opinion in everything, but for reviews to be on polar opposite spectrums is curious to me.
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Aight, I’ll start off with the ROs. You had 4 ROs, 2 men, 2 women. For the female ROs, the difference between them are basically just the shaved head and the mohawk. They both enter into the strong women archetype. The same goes for Keano and Rigel with the noticable difference being the other was and introvert and the other wasn’t. Now, when I said, it was too few, I’ll go back with my previous statement, it’s just 2 for each gender, it could’ve been 4 for each if the gender was allowed to be chosen, but the 4 RO point can only be made when you’re playing a bisexual character, if you’re not you’re stuck with 2.
Now with the story, it could’ve been 500k it could’ve been 50k, but the word count wont really matter if most the of the words can barely carry much of a meaning to the plot, which is why I said it was dragged. We could’ve skipped a lot of the stuff that didn’t really carry much into the plot conflict and climax. The first 6 chapters were like a slice-of-life story, just another day in the MCs life, then you get to the climax, only to be left off with the ending where none of the choices you made were given effect. I get that a cliff-hanger ending is, mostly, necessary for series like these, but we could’ve at least been given a foreshadowing of what would comes next, instead of the cliched “prepare for war” cliffhanger. For example What happened to Killian, your family, your RO after the Eccentric rescued you. Did forgiving Killian have an effect after? Did having your brother punished save him? Or what was the effect of building a relationship with your cat?(really felt like she was just an accessory throughout the game) . Just a few examples there.
Then for the characters, Daddy problems bully? 
alcoholic dad? strong warrior woman? . These are just a few, but the point is, even if they were cliched, they could’ve at least been presented better. Like, we never knew much of the ROs, it’s like they were just there for the sake of being there, the same goes for Killian and his cronies, which was really predictable. A bully beating someone else up because he was getting beat up himself is the most cliched bully character archetype. The guard vice captain is basically Aveline(DA2) with a mohawk, demon huntress is Morrigan(DA:O-A) with a shaved head, Rigel is basically a gender-bended library girl archetype. Keano is the hippie hunk. Then well Killian’s cronies are like B-grade movie henchmen. Percy is like every other little brother who looks up to his older brother, other than his thieving acts, he doesn’t have much going for him. Then there’s the bookstore lady who gave a foreshadowing with the translation job but ended up being nothing. And, to counter your statement, appearances don’t make a character remarkable, their personality do. No matter how outrageous looking they are, if they don’t have the character to back it up, then they might as well have been pebbles at the roadside. Violet, other than her shaved head and being psycopathic, has nothing else going for her. Same goes for Mabeline, without her template tough warrior woman act, there’s nothing. It’s even worse for Keano, he was like a cardboard stand, I’d rather he was that idiotic bestfriend archetype than that. Rigel, without his timidity, would be noone. In summary, the characters were one-trick ponies. If, for example, we put it that, Violet was a psycho but deep inside is a softie and only became so due to past trauma, as cliche as that is, would have given her personality another side, just as the others. So when I said they were bland and forgettable, it’s because they were flat. To emphasize, you would want a dynamic RO, not static. I’d accept it if they were just side-chars, but, they’re ROs, a pivotal part of the story.
Well, I didn’t realy come here to prove you wrong or anything. Just putting these points out there.
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I loved the characters! I thought they were interesting because they had their own small secrets. Why did Violet throw us out? Why does…Kee-yawno…(I’m still gonna call him Keeno) drink so much? The characters weren’t cliche because they had their own special twist. I’m a bit confused about how a demon huntress who drinks blood is cliche? It was well written, captivating and emotional. That’s all I need for a story!
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Jesus Christ, dude, what gives you so much drive to come and shit on a story that I poured my heart out on for an entire year?
I disagree with everything you said, and I would love to counter all of it, but it’s clear I’d just be bashing my head against a wall just to help a troll get a rise out of my frustration. These are just some of the positive review I’ve been given:
- “This game is a masterpiece”
- “Mowbow best cat 2018”
- “MASTAPIECE”
- “An absolutely and amazingly entertaining game, well worth the current price”
- “Beautiful…just…beautiful ;(”
- “The story is amazing I got pulled in too deep and its kinda hard to choose who to end up dating”
- “All in all, I loved this game! You kept me hooked from beginning to end.”
- “She’s an all around good character. Funny, but serious when she needs to be. Also the land where I grow my fucks bit is seriously one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in a choice game ever.”
Etc etc.
I’m a little more inclined to believe them than I am to believe you.
Also, if you saw no differences between EXTREMELY different characters, it’s obvious to me that you didn’t even read the story.
Then again, let me debunk some of your ridiculous statements. You said there were no foreshadowings to the final chapter. What about the Peon demon who came out of the portal in Chapter 6? What about the un-explainable unease that the MC had in Chapter 7? Did you literally think those were coincidences?
You said Mowbow wasn’t important. How’s literally being the most popular character and making dozens of people cry for being important?
You said the characters are bland, one trick ponies with basically no differences. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Violet is a callous, ambitious, cunning necromancer who is a sociopath because of her extremely dark past. In the sex scene she had in Chapter 7, she has a panic attack because of it.
Rigel is incredibly shy. Keano is very outgoing and charismatic. Rigel likes to read and heal people, and Keano likes to explore the outdoors and go to archery contests. Rigel never uses any drugs, and Keano is addicted to alcohol. Rigel is extremely intelligent, whereas Keano has more of an average intelligence. They’re literally the opposite, and yet you would have us believe that they’re copy and posted off one another. Utterly delusional.
You said Mabelin and Violet are the same. Again, delusional. Mabelin is aggressive and rash, but she her heart is in the right place and she is deeply concerned with justice. Violet, on the other hand, is very selfish and is always looking for ways to further her own goals, even if those things hurt others. Mabelin is outgoing, funny, and charismatic. Violet is introverted, mirthless, and cold. Mabelin likes to spar and play chess, whereas violet practices necromancy. They are sooo different, and yet you would lie that they’re copy and pasted off one another.
What makes you think all of this won’t be addressed in the next three books?
I could go on forever but I’m already getting a head ache just from reading your post.
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Ugh, I’m not even going to bother explaining to you anymore, specially since you’re so hung up with popularity. With your logic we might as well say Justin Beiber is the greatest musician of all time. Anyway, if you can’t heed “argumentum ad populum”, you’d never understand the points I’ll try to make.
I’ll just make this clear, stop treating me like I’ bashing you or your work. I am not. I’m merely offering what insights I can after spending a few hours on your game. Whatever, you can try to take it how you like, but I’d rather you didn’t paint me like a bad guy. Good luck and good day.
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Gaslighting is an interesting tactic. Nice one, buddy. 
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Let’s move along to a different, more constructive conversation at this point. I don’t think this is going anywhere good.
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So what tropes/categories do the female love interests fall into? I came for the graphic lesbian sex scenes but I have no idea who would be a good partner maybe a dom.
Probably Violet is the one you want.
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violet = violent. Damn that girl goes hard.
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Violet is my current walking dead ship how ironic.
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Amazing game!!
Quick question though, how is our progress saved for the other games in this series?
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As a general rule, we don’t insert save endings into a game until the sequel is well under development, so that authors have a chance to make sure they have everything they are going to need for the sequel tracked.
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when are you guys going to add “delete save” ? i have like a million saves in some games and it will be nice to delete some xD
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Do you know how big of a fan I am?! I’ve been here since the beginning of the story and just loved it. I can’t buy it right cuase my bank account is barely over $100 and I have college starting next Monday. Not only this one all the others you’re working on! And absolutely LOVE the enchanters misery the best! Nothing is ever going to be perfect because a human made it. You are human, capable of imperfection. But from that imperfection you grew and have the projects you have now, which are amazing!
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