The Last Frontier (Alien Invasion WIP)


#1

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is the introductory chapter to my attempt at creating a COG. I have worked on more, but was looking for feedback on this first.

This game as you see is called, for the moment, The Last Frontier and is a semi-modern alien invasion game.

In this game, you will play as a human against the aliens as one of three roles (so far)

  1. Soldier- Fight against the alien invasion as a soldier and see if your fighting prowess is enough to send the aliens away.
    2)Diplomat- See if you can save the world by uniting the nations of the world past its problems into one force.
    3)Scientist- See if you can discover the underlying weakness of the aliens. Illness? Bullet holes? You discover.

3 Things to mention

  1. The title is not set, and I would appreciate alternate suggestions
  2. I would like suggestions on what the alien ships should look like. I have several ideas, but would like input.
  3. I know there are punctuation and verb tense problems and I will be working on them.

So please enjoy and leave feedback!
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/273123971/web/mygame/index.html


#2

FINALLY, A CHOICE OF GAME WITH JACOB AS A NAME CHOICE! Also, is the error the end of the demo?


#3

Woot, looks good. I’m a sucker for a good space story (Mass Effect forever!). Inro was very promising.


#4

Very interesting so far. I’d love to see more of this down the line, and keep up the good work.


#5

This is very interesting. Also, when I choose my background the stats don’t change. Is that on purpose or a bug? When I chose to be a scientist, I expected my intelligence to go up, but nothing happened.


#6

@WubWub117 Yes it is for the moment, and happy to please!

@DSeg That was an error on my part, I will be fixing that today.

@MaddiMastermind I love Mass Effect! You will see subtle references throughout the whole game eventually.

@FalconXCII
Thank you!


#7

Amazing it was a really good read.


#8

@Storm Thank you!

This goes for everyone…What would you like to see my implement into the game? Im still looking for ideas on the aliens…


#9

Aliens as in example of this species? or just random ideas?


#10

@Aera Ummm…your ideas on what an alien species should look like. So I guess both…


#11

I’ve just read through the demo and I have some feedback for you.

THINGS THAT I ENJOYED:
1.) I enjoy your writing; it’s smooth, descriptive and eloquent.
2.) The choices have an effect on the story and our stats

THINGS THAT NEED IMPROVEMENT
1.) I think the character creation should be implemented into the narrative; it makes things smoother, and otherwise it breaks my immersion.
2.) Here are some typos that jumped out at me:

“name sir?”
should be “name, sir?”

" “My name is not here!” "
should be " “My name is not here!” "

“needs a hero, a person”
should be “needs a hero: a person”

"started "Well "
should be "started, "Well "

“spy Sally Cruz.”
should be “spy, Sally Cruz.”

“leave Iran just barely”
should be “leave Iran, just barely”

“resent NASA history.”
should be “recent NASAS history.”

“later,that”
should be “later, that”

“People I need”
should be “People, I need”

" go for launch" "
should be " go for launch." "

“commander of the space Ship Jeff Ace.”
should be “commander of the space ship, Jeff Ace.”

" "What’s that NASA, we "
should be " "What’s that, NASA? We "

" "Nothing Freedom, proceed "
should be "Nothing, Freedom; proceed "

" "Can do NASA. "
should be " "Can do, NASA. "

" "That’s great Freedom, we’re "
should be " "That’s great, Freedom; we’re "

" "Umm NASA, "
should be "Umm, NASA "

"crew "Ok "
should be "crew, "Ok "

" all she’s got Jeff!" "
should be " all she’s got, Jeff!" "

“The blob by know”
should be “By now, the blob”

“NASA we have a situation!”

“NASA we need assistance!”

both of those should have a comma after NASA

“communications continued”
should be “Communications continued”

3.) This is just my personal opinion, but I think it’s more professional to spell out numbers (besides dates) instead of using the numerals. For example, 7 would be “seven”.

4.) I think the choices should be more frequent


#12

@Samuel_H_Young Glad to hear you approve…So I appreciate the feedback and I went through and fixed the typos you listed.


#13

Awesome. Keep up the good work


#14

Update time! Things changed
!) Stat screen modified
2)Punctuation errors fixed
3)Introduction changed around a bit with more added
4)About a quarter of the first real scene was added.


#15

Some errors I picked up:
Line 105: bad label gaame
Line 111: tabs and spaces appear on same line