The Freakhouse: A Touch Of Lilium

Nope, I don’t know that movie, but you don’t have to worry, you won’t turn into a monkey! :smile:

Right now the most vicious freak we know of is possibly Vex (poor soul whoever has to share tent with him or angers him) :relieved: Not all of them are so murderous, though a lot of them are quite insensitive towards someone else’s pain :imp: And it’s not like any of them got diagnosed with psychopathy :wink:

Ah, glad you noticed! But where’s the point if I tell you the truth so early in the game! :wink: There’s a reason things work like that, but you won’t see why anytime soon :smirk:

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[quote=“Lycoris, post:845, topic:15123”]
Aaaah, that’s the true value of replayability :wink: If you don’t pick certain choices, you will miss things, and at the same time, if you choose x instead of y, you’re also fail to see other things :smirk: [/quote]
Yep, definetly will be missing some stuff. :joy: I can vary my playthroughs but only to an extent, can’t detach myself completely from my character. So even though it might be silly some options are just never choosen even as ‘non-canon’ ones. :sweat_smile:

[quote=“Lycoris, post:845, topic:15123”]
At least I try to make the very bad ones obvious [/quote]
Good to know! :relaxed: I understand even when bad ones aren’t very obvious. Just so there was at least some possibility of seeing it coming.

At least one less thing to feel paranoid about. :joy:

[quote=“Lycoris, post:845, topic:15123”]
I’m curious about your assumptions, even if they ar eonly half-baked or not complete[/quote]
In that case I might write some of them later. Maybe. It’s just it would be kind of embarassing if they turn out completely off base. :sweat_smile:

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Aww that’s so sad that you have to move the game to a private testing…:cry: But I get why you did it. This is truly an amazing and unique game and I hope I get to buy and play it in full someday! Keep up the good work :heart_eyes: Also it would be great if you would consider me to be one of your beta-testers. I’ve been a lurker in this forum for years but I’d gladly give you feedback if that’s what it takes to be able to follow your progress :slight_smile:

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I can always change it back, if you’d prefer :innocent: . I’m not really sure why I told my weakness :sweat_smile:

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But the most important question I have is this, why are we still here? I’m certain that not everyone is willing to stay and given the abundant evidence that this may indeed be hell on Earth what forces them all to remain in this circus? The ringmasters? A barrier? Each other perhaps?

It’s not like all of them are unable to reenter human society. A person with red eyes and lesser traits can easily pass off their traits as either genetics gone wrong,hide them, or say they’re fake prosthetics. Which means that somethings keeping them there. It could be a physical thing such as barrier or someone stopping them. Or it could be a mental thing, something involving the pills or perhaps what they’re seeing isn’t what’s actually happening.

Hmm…so many theories.

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secretly, they’re all in a mental ward. MC is actually in a straitjacket inside of a padded room.

/s

(edit: anyone who has been inside of a mental ward: don’t be offended D: )

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I found a few grammar ‘mistakes’ for the first part I’m being nit picky but I figured I would mention them
For its black, pitch dark.
Do you mean pitch black?
For: “Who are you thinking of?” Wonders the man…
Wonders should not be capitalized. Also in the same section there shouldn’t be a , after the -

Also after ‘faint hint of sharpness’ you may want to end the sentence and begin s new one that talks about his eyes.

speaking of errors, @Lycoris, I can make a word document with a list of grammar mistakes, if you want? I am majoring in English, so I’m pretty solid on that.

Most of what you have isn’t too bad–just minor mistakes that can be fixed with practice :slight_smile:

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@Melzzi_d pitch dark is allowed -------> here

The interrogation mark works like a period; so I naturally used a capital letter after that.

[quote]The man can’t be a day older than eighteen — you even doubt he’s out of his middle teens —, his features are soft, marking his youth but with a faint hint of sharpness; yet his inky
black eyes are harsh and jaded. [/quote]
The comma after the dash mark (—) was meant for the “The man can’t be a day older than eighteen” bit, meaning that " — you even doubt he’s out of his middle teens —" supplies it, instead of accompanying “his features are soft,”.

The thing with the sentence you say is that it’s supposed to make a strong contrast, comparing his youthful face with his weary gaze, so I don’t want to cut it and make another one only for his eyes. I do such thing in the beginning already.

@Razgriz

Keep in mind your own words :wink:

Indeed, some of them with the… “lesser” traits could still be a part of… the regular society (Dagger for example: he’s relatively one of the least unusual looking ones), but for reasons they don’t :smirk: Or can’t. Somewhere around chapter 3 or 4 I will explain Lilium’s nature and other aspects of the story, like why are they performing instead of, as you say, killing each other off.

Give time time :smile:

@ashestoashes018 that would be lovely, thank you! :blush: I will be forever grateful and that would be a major boost (like 1000 points!) for you :smirk: If you know what I mean :wink:

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I have the first several pages red-penned. I’ll send it to you in a PM :slight_smile:

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The “regular society”? Did you just show your hand? Hmm…

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First time playing though (and still am) but here’s a little error I saw. Not sure if it’s been said or not. :sweat_smile:

comeone should be someone.
(Seeing as English is not my first langue as well, I will do my best to help out at finding all the errors I can while playing though.) :relieved:

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This may have been pointed out but there is a stats error stats line 198 nonexistent variable ‘flag_soot’

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I know. Such a mysterious person. The doll will let you know what happens… you love my feedback… :smile_cat:

Anyways, there is a new horror series coming out on AMC tv channel called “Preacher” that looks up your alley… check out the previews on the web site.

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I like it! Edgy, creepy, kind of gothic. Gives me a sort of Tim Burton-vibe.

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Regular, as in “ordinary”, “common”, etc. Meaning pretty much the un-freaky world, in other words, outside the circus :smile: In Chapter 1 Dagger himself refers the “trait-less” people as “poor civilin people” if I recall correctly, after all I wrote that a while ago :grin:

@xNaomi thanks! Stupid typo :disappointed_relieved:

@Melzzi_d thanks, I didn’t remember to erase that one for the public demo :grin:

@Zolataya mmm… that’s new. I will look into it when I have time, though it doesn’t sound good (the word reminds me of “lecture” for some reaosn hahaha ) but who knows, maybe I fall in love with it. And there’s this little rumor going on about Evan Peters not taking part in the next season of AHS :disappointed_relieved:

@Knightstrike my, such compliments! :blush: Thank you!

Heh, maybe it’s because I am the one writings this, but I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this isn’t creepy at all? Like, it lacks a lot of horror elements? Truth to be told the same happens with the “gothic” bit, I always have a hard time telling when something that it’s not visual is gothic :disappointed_relieved:

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Oh? Hmm do I trust the master of manipulation on this or do I still keep tabs on this development for later? Hmm…

As for the creepiness I have to admit that I have not felt any goosebumps yet. Though that may be because I’m not very frightened by gore.The characters thus far introduced don’t so much scare me as put me on edge. I’m thinking,“Is Dagger gonna shank me or save my life? Is the nurse gonna make me drink poison or give me an antidote? Is the big f*** offy demon dude gonna rip out my spine or help me defeat the puppet master of this circus?”

Though I admit that Daggers persistent pet names scare me. :disappointed_relieved: He reminds me of the Hedonist from Community College Hero. Except,you know, the missing arm.

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A little hint: never trust anyone :wink:

I have a lot to work on, but on future scenes I will have more things besides gore or unusual looking people; right now there’s one in particular that will squick a good handful :wink: Not sure if I should put it in the main route or only in a NPC’s path…

I guess that the characters’ looks aren’t exactly scary, though I have some left to surprise you with :smile: And it’s the beginning: of course the performers won’t frighten you much, the initial intention is for them to make you wary or baffle you. The only one who could scare you at the moment is Vex and his… temper :smirk: But it’s really interesting you think of him as an ally (or tool) who could help you against the Ringmasters… it sounds good :grin:

By the way, Dagger was thought to help the MC adapt better, but I see that a lot of people distrust him :disappointed_relieved: I have never played Community College Hero, so I don’t know how the Hedonist handles the endearments, but in this game if you ask Dagger nicely, he will drop the pet names :blush:

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[quote=“Lycoris, post:862, topic:15123”]
Heh, maybe it’s because I am the one writings this, but I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this isn’t creepy at all? Like, it lacks a lot of horror elements?[/quote]
I think some horror elements are just impossible to implement in text format. Like jumpscares (of course they are not a very elegant way to scare someone, but at the same time usually effective).
All in all I think this game has the elements that build the atmosphere and some disturbing moments. But of course what one finds disturbing differs from person to person. And again some don’t work quite the same in text format.

But what usually makes a good horror is building up a suspense. Like in case of people in the freakshow we know they are potentially capable of horrible deeds (from some we kind of saw them already). But seeing them actually do them would be most shocking If we are lulled in the false sense of security. If while communicating with them we forget about that. And when we least expect it we get a reminder.

With Dagger I think it might be that we can see that he isn’t telling everything. And given beginning of the game it would be hard to trust any character. :smile: And with a friendly ones ironically it’s harder to anticipate when they would do something (if they would), hence the distrust.
Anyway at the same time I wouldn’t say he is the MOST suspicious, since some of his actions/words do appear genuine. It’s just hard to gauge how many of them are.

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Oddly enough I could trust vex more than just about anyone else. He seems angry, incredibly so. If it’s possible I’d like to find out why, he must have some kind of goal or objective that I could help him with. Man like that doesn’t keep all that anger inside unless he’s saving it for someone special. So I feel that if I help him then we could have a mutual alliance. I help him with his task and he helps me with mine.

The person I wouldn’t trust with a damn spoon though is Lyssa. She seems beyond dangerous even though she’s depicted as a young, albeit it disturbed, girl. She concerns me more than Vex and Dagger combined. As they say the quiet ones are the most dangerous.

As for Dagger himself and my comparison to Hedonist well. They both share the same sexual assault vibe. Like if anyone’s gonna attack the MC for that then it’ll be them.

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