Very TL;DR ramble-y mess ahead (it's midterms and I'm dying)
Replaying the game again, and out of curiosity does the mayor -- if you work as a scribe -- come back? Especially since he made a pass at the character? I'm basing the assumption on the Disney canon so is he the unwanted suitor :))
As to suggestions for pacing of the whisking away scene, I like the tenseness of it should you choose to run away (also very nice use of a tight action sequence)
Also I like that Yiana is the only one protesting your decision and actively protects you (if you choose to hide) :)) it makes the sibling dynamic so much more interesting and dynamic given their character introductions. Like is she freaking out because she cares about you or for practical/selfish reasons? Or both? I like that kind of ambiguity :>
[I feel she might be the one to launch a rescue attempt later on in the story -- for better or for worse]
Having said that though, I think the shortness comes from the transition of looking at the beast + sorcerer and deciding on going? Like if you choose to study/ask the beast/sorcerer a question or demand an answer, it feels short? Said shortness gets exacerbated if combined with choosing to go quietly.
Comparatively though to say shirking away -- because Yiana steps up and tries to defend you, which adds fuel to the tension in the room -- and choosing to run. That sequence is super fraught with tension :)) --> though even if you choose to shirk and go peacefully, it's still very charged (at least in comparison with other options)
I'm still thinking of what to add/take away as suggestions though to help with making sure all options carry the same weights?
also please forgive if I'm not very coherent/this isn't helpful, it might just be me nitpicking after been sleep deprived for month now