Tempus Chronicles (Fantasy/WIP/Idea)


#1

The first thing to mention here, is that this will be my first interactive story and that while I’m working on this project, I’ll also be getting used to the script and how it works. The second thing to note, is that this is just in an idea stage, but an idea I’ve been working on for a while. I’m open to all manner of comments, suggestions, etc. However, if your comment is in the negative side of things, I would really appreciate constructive criticism rather than just saying “Your idea sucks”

Now that that’s out of the way, time to discuss my idea. Now from the title of the story, you might be thinking this is a Sci-Fi story (Tempus being Latin for time.), however that’s both true and false. The story is predominately fantasy with elements of Sci-Fi being present.

The Plot: The story idea for this is slightly convoluted, but I ask you to bear with me. The plot revolves around creature named Katran. He was once a child of two gods, but has fallen into darkness since then. After he tore the continent of Varen asunder, the gods cursed him, which caused him to turn into a demonic wolf, who was kept locked away on an island far to the north. However, as you might have guessed, he has escaped.

You will be able to create your character to a decent extent. Obviously you will be able to choose your gender, name, sexuality and backstory. However, whether there will be more than that will have to depend on whether or not I can figure out the script well enough.

If you have any questions that I haven’t answered, ask away, and perhaps you’ll learn about the world and the creatures the reside upon it. Sorry to keep it short, but I’m not going to be able to write everything I have planned at this moment, as I want to be sure I’m not spoiling anything of the story as it’s not fully planned yet.


#2

Okay what is the main character doing in this like us


#3

The main character will (eventually) hunt Katran. In the earlier stages it’s more about gathering allies (The elves, dwarves, various kingdoms/organizations, etc.), however it will all lead to a final confrontation with Katran that the players will need to think and plan their way through based on the skills they have chosen. i.e. rushing when you’ve played a mostly stealthy route is a good way to get yourself killed. The player will also be able to play the game in a negative light(turning away potential allies) which will result in an entirely different set of endings. In the end the players decisions will ultimately matter. At least that’s what I hope I can accomplish.


#4

I’m in to the story already. So will it just be human character or are you going to add different playable races? I.E. dwarfs, elves, orcs, cat people (just a thought) Tec.


#5

There will be multiple different playable races, including a few custom ones. I’ll be posting a rundown of the races tomorrow.


#6

So I put in a bit of thought, and I decided to provide a bit of excerpt. If it does make it into the final product it won’t be until the end or near the end, but either way, it might be a way to showcase my writing style to some extent. As for who these characters are in the excerpt, I won’t reveal the entirety of, but I’ll answer any and all questions to the best of my ability. Just be warned it ends abruptly, as I can’t spoil the shock value of some things for you, can I? So here’s the excerpts(If there are grammar mistakes or whatnot, let me know as I’m always looking to improve):

It was a dark and dreary night. Rain fell over the city of Karn. Located in the central region, Karn was a large, usually bustling with life type of city. Horse drawn carriages traveled along the dirt roads constantly. Centaurs frequently entered the city to trade wares in the main market. Dwarves resided in Karn as masons and as brightsmiths selling their silvers to the humans.

Yet this night the city was nearly deserted, except for the four dark ­cloaked figures near the end of the main street. Behind the group patches of grass, in the shape of footprints, lay dead as if blackened by the tendrils of death itself. The surrounding grasses, aside from these small blackened patches were untouched, healthy and alive. Behind these four still in the city, lay many piles of ash left haphazardly as they left the silence of the city. As the four walked on, one stood apart from the other three, this person was at the forefront of this band of dark figures, as if leading a pack of wolves. The leader took a quick, detailed glance around before removing the hood atop his head. The other four shortly followed unveiling themselves completely. The leader, a male, was on the tall side, lean, muscled but not overly so. In the light of the vibrant moon his black veins stood out from the pale ivory skin . He looked like death incarnate. His long ash black hair whipped back like a curtain as he turned to face his companions, his tar­like black eyes locked on to the three standing on the path. The man’s eyes were soulless as if he’d stopped caring long ago.
“Have you finished the tasks I set for you?” said the deathlike man, it was spoken in a rasp of a voice, as if the man was cursed with tuberculosis. The other three shared a glance of uncertainty before turning their gazes toward the speaker. Out of the three that stood before this man the middle figure stepped forward to speak," I am sorry Xerosis but I was unable to capture your intended target.” Xerosis narrowed his eyes at the speaker and slowly lifted his hand. The sleeve of his robe slid down to reveal a glove on his left hand. He took the part of the glove around his index finger and started tugging the fabric off. “So from what you are saying,” he tugged the fabric of his middle finger, “Is that you have failed me?” He had then pulled the cloth on his ring and pinky fingers off as well as he finished speaking, “Do you know what happens to those who fail me?” By now his glove was fully off. He flexed his fingers and looked at the man in front of him, and sneered. “Goodbye, Creed” Xerosis said as he lunged forward to grab the back of Creed’s neck and placed his, now ungloved, hand on Creeds face.

Creed struggled against Xerosis’ hands, fear striking into his heart, knowing he wouldn’t live past a half­-minute, if Xerosis’ hands weren’t removed from his face. But a few seconds had already gone by, and he could his feet getting a more crispier texture, until finally his feet crumbled away. Creed could feel his life slowly draining on me as his legs crumbled away. By this point creed stopped struggling, as he would rather die then live life without his legs. After all how could he be a bounty hunter without legs, but at this point Xerosis let go of creed’s face.


#7

Please note that these are only suggestions, I’m definitely not trying to force you to do anything or saying that my way is the best/correct way.

Here are a few things that might make the excerpt easier to read:

[details=I tried to bold the suggestions]It was a dark and dreary night. Rain fell over the city of Karn. Located in the central region, Karn was a large, usually-bustling-with-life type of city. Horse-drawn carriages constantly traveled along the dirt roads. Centaurs frequently entered the city to trade wares in the main market. Dwarves resided in Karn as masons and as brightsmiths, selling their silvers to the humans.

Yet this night, the city was nearly deserted, except for the four dark, ­cloaked figures near the end of the main street. Behind the group, patches of grass in the shape of footprints lay dead as if blackened by the tendrils of death itself. Behind these four, still in the city, lay many piles of ash left haphazardly. As the four walked on, one stood apart from the other three . This person was at the forefront of this band of dark figures, as if leading a pack of wolves. The leader took a quick, detailed glance around before removing the hood atop his head. The other four followed shortly, unveiling themselves completely.

The leader, a male, was on the tall side : lean and muscled , but not overly so. In the light of the vibrant moon , his black veins stood out from the pale ivory skin. He looked like death incarnate. His long , ash - black hair whipped back like a curtain as he turned to face his companions, his tar­like black eyes locked on to the three standing on the path. The man’s eyes were soulless , as if he’d stopped caring long ago.

“Have you finished the tasks I set for you?” said the deathlike man. It was spoken in a rasp of a voice, as if the man was cursed with tuberculosis. The other three shared a glance of uncertainty before turning their gazes toward the speaker. Out of the three that stood before this man, the middle figure stepped forward to speak.

"I am sorry, Xerosis, but I was unable to capture your intended target.”

Xerosis narrowed his eyes at the speaker and slowly lifted his hand. The sleeve of his robe slid down to reveal a glove on his left hand. He took the part of the glove around his index finger and started tugging the fabric off.

“So what you are saying,” he tugged the fabric of his middle finger, “is that you have failed me?”

He had then pulled the cloth on his ring and pinky fingers off as well as he finished speaking. “Do you know what happens to those who fail me?”

By now his glove was fully off. He flexed his fingers, looked at the man in front of him, and sneered. “Goodbye, Creed,” Xerosis said as he lunged forward to grab the back of Creed’s neck and placed his hand on Creeds face.

Creed struggled against Xerosis’ hands, fear striking into his heart, knowing he wouldn’t live past a half­-minute if Xerosis’ hands weren’t removed from his face. But a few seconds had already gone by, and he could feel his feet getting a more crispier texture (what does this mean?) , until, finally, his feet crumbled away. Creed could feel his life slowly draining as his legs crumbled away. By this point, Creed stopped struggling, as he would rather die then live life without his legs. After all, how could he be a bounty hunter without legs?[/details]

Good work!


#8

Thank you very much. I’m always open to suggestions as they help make the work better as I go. I’m always seeking to improve.


#9

@Writing_Fever had made a good suggestions on the sequences of the paragraphs.

Sometimes, giving a dialogue it’s own line makes a lot of difference for a reader, oppose to it being consumed into the a long stack of words. It will somehow get lost in transition and loses its impact or feeling. That’s my personal feeling so don’t worry about it if it’s not your style alright >www<

And don’t be afraid to separate your paragraphs into smaller sections ~ I understand sometimes separating them even though they’re meant to be a continuous thing doesn’t make sense but it does make reading a lot clearer~

And from experience, readers sometimes skip gigantic texts because it seemed daunting and hard to read through, so making them smaller will get the readers to ease in easier.

But ultimately, just follow what you’re more comfortable with! Don’t listen to my nonsense :blush: ahahhaahaha xD
Keep on going alright hehehe >w<


#10

Thank you as well. I’ll certainly be taking both of your tips into consideration. :slight_smile:


#11

the idea sounds great and it’s always amazing to hunt a monster and use it trophy and one may specialize in some type of weapon or power?


#12

Considering that if this goes well, I will be returning to the world, it is very much possible that you’ll be able to use an artifact made from Katran in a later adventure. Or you might get someone to join you on your adventure if you try to redeem Katran


#14

As I told @matt_smith, I would be posting a rundown of the races, but I’m going to do one better. If you don’t particularly care about the world, you can skip this post, or just choose a particular section to jump to. This will be basic descriptions for now, but will be expanded later. Feel free to ask questions about anything.

The world of this series is split into several different eras, but I’m going to be focusing on the first era.(Time and time travel is a feature of this, as I said it’s a fantasy with sci-fi elements) The first era is split into two continents. Varen and Kaven(working name)

[details=Varen]Varen is separated into several regions and one kingdom. Each region is vast, and ruled over by a particular species, or royal family.

The Norhajj Desert is a near endless region filled with creatures called the Friitan. The region’s only real building is the Salhal Temple where the Friitan go to worship their deity Salhal. The Friitan live in the many caves and caverns that dot the desert landscape. The desert rests in the north area of the continent.

The Caltraan Forests were once vast and covered nearly every inch of the continent that once was Varen. Although humans cutting down trees for their houses was a significant cause of the forests shrinking, the main cause was The Rift(Will be explained later). The forests rest on the western cliffs where the continent sharply drops into the ocean below. The forests are home to many hidden Elven cities(with buildings built inside the trees) and centaur gathering sites(which change as easily and as many times as the tides) The new capitol of the Elven lands is the city built around the Stellraan eth Ra tree(the largest tree in the forest, also the home to the leaders of the Elven lands)

The Daltron Mountains to the east is home to the Dwarves, goblins, etc. The mountains are by far the most difficult to traverse due to the large number of mountains and the avalanches that happen all too often(The Dwarves have nothing to do with these, or so they claim) The capitol of the Dwarven empire is Mt Zantrii, which they claim is the tallest mountain in the world. The safest way to get to the Dwarven cities, and the only safe way to get into the region, is the Saiine Passage

The Utra Plains is the largest region in Varen, and perhaps the most dangerous, given to the large number of barbarians that make their home here. It is in the southern-most areaSomething to note is the Toltris Ravine, which is the only source of a certain type of crystals(Unnamed as of now), which can absorb and emit a certain amount of magic, which will play a role for magic users who wish to use these crystals.

The Felkphine Kingdom is the central region which is run by and inhabited by humans. It is also home to the Order of the Knights, and the Sienti Unos Para(or the Seven Mages of Power. More details on this region will have to be given in game. You can however ask about the two organizations which are mostly free of spoilers.

There are also a few islands around this continent

Mortis Marsh is an island to the south of the continent which are home to two creatures who are constantly at war with each other, the Kovan and Salval.

Carcera is a collection of small islands around a larger islands. The large island is home to Trovadiar, which used to be a prison meant to hold the worst criminals, though now many black mages make this place their home. The smaller islands used to hold the homes of the cooks and other minor employees of the prison.

The most important island(which I can’t give many details about or, as Riversong says “Spoilers”) is Umbra Insula, which is the magically binding prison of Katran, the cursed demon wolf.[/details]

[details=Kaven]Instead of regions the second continent is separated into kingdoms. This section will not be so detailed right now, as there is still much to work on here, but I’ll let you know what there is.

Tor the longest time on Kaven, there ruled only two kingdoms. The Flinaar Kingdom ruled the east, led by the Straids. The Western kingdom of Gatel were ruled by humans. In the third year after The Rift, a race of cannibals invaded the City of Kani at the southwestern coast, and slowly began taking over as much as they could. Two hundred years after that, the Cannibals had control over most of the southern half of the continent and were officially recognized as the Tolek Kingdom.[/details]

I’m going to be giving basic descriptions on species, but I will answer most questions on them.

[details=Species]Human: They lived their lives in Varen expanding and populating. Humans live a maximum of 77 years.

Elves: Regarded as legends by most other Races, they spend their lives in the Forests of Calltraan. Elves are least likely to produce a half-elf as half-breeds are generally looked down upon. Only one or two elves a year leave these large forests and, disguised as humans venture the world. Elves live a maximum of 300 years

Dwarves: Dwarves are the main choice of other races as builders. Usually they live in or near mountains especially around the Daltron mountains. It is highly rumored that Dwarves fear magic, yet in truth most tend to steer clear of it because of as they say ‘Nothing beats the value of hard work.’ Dwarves live a maximum of 175 years

Possibly playable species:

Straid: A Straid is a children of two deities, though they are not deities themselves. The Straids were the first creatures to wield magic and through procreating, they passed this trait on to other species. However, they are the species with the lowest numbers, as Straids can only be born to two deities, or two Straids. If someone were born to A Straid and another species, than they would take the species of their non-Straid parent. Straids are near immortal, unless some outside force(Illness, combat, murder, etc.) kills them. Straids look mostly human except for two traits. They share pointed ears with the elves, and they have markings like tattoos on their body. Straids are born with entirely different marking designs with different colors, though the markings don’t cover the face.

Non-playable species:

Kovan: The Kovan look like a cross between a human and a frog. They have a human stature and similar way of walking, but with a frog-like skin, face, and webbed fingers.

Salval: The Salval are a cross between human and snake. Between each individual their appearance is varied(Some look completely human, some look entirely like a snake, and some are in between), however one constant is that they always have tell-tale silver eyes.

Friitan: The Friitan are centaur like, but instead of horse, scorpian.

I know there are some species I mentioned earlier that I missed, but there isn’t much to tell about them at this moment.[/details]

Again if you have questions about any of this, do not hesitate to ask.Or if you have suggestions, don’t hesitate to say them


#15

What will the stats for the main character be. For example will there be guns and will there stats for how good you can shoot, and how clever you can be in certain situations, etc. Things like that would be the biggest things to me and make or break the game. Also please make it where the back story chooses your stats. The overall story sounds great though.


#16

I’m not entirely sure at this moment. I do plan on the stats being extensive, however.

That however, I do know. There will not be guns, as this is predominately a fantasy work, with only elements of sci-fi. There will be an extensive amount of weapons to choose from, and your skill in those weapons, i.e. your weapon stats, will determine two things. First, whether or not your strike even hits. With a low skill in, lets say, archery, you will miss completely. What I have planned is the better your skill the more likely you are to hit, and the more likely you are to hit a vital location. For example, a good skill in swordsmanship will make it easier to win combat in a couple strokes, against a bandit. Obviously the more heavily armored an enemy is, the more difficult the fight will be. Obviously skills wouldn’t just apply to combat skills or scenarios, but I’m sure you get the idea.

[quote=“levi_raper01, post:15, topic:21153”]
Also please make it where the back story chooses your stats.[/quote]

This is something I had planned from the beginning, though it’s a bit more complex. What I hope to accomplish is a set of decisions that will set your backstory. I imagine this will be really difficult, but it’s something I hope to accomplish. The way I want to set it up is that you’ll choose several things these things would be:

Gender
Race
Locations based on the Race you chose. (For example a location only available to a dwarf would be Mt Zantrii, and a location available only to an elf would be the Caltraan Forests)
Parent’s Profession(Possibly)
Etc.

These choices would not be given to you right away, as I figure that would be a bit in your face, but they would be integrated into the story. And each choice you make would influence your base skills. I.e. being an elf would increase your archery skill among a couple other things. And being a noble would increase related skills like cunning and charm.

[quote=“levi_raper01, post:15, topic:21153”]
The overall story sounds great though.[/quote]

Thank you very much, and I hope I answered your questions adequately.


#17

I cannot wait to play this story and trust me you did answer my questions, it sounds awesome!


#18

Thank you, although it may be awhile before a demo is made, due to the complexity I want to achieve. I may even make a second game at the same time on a simpler scale to get used to ChoiceScript


#19

It’s been a few days, but I’ve been getting new flooring in my house, specifically the room my computer was in. Now that I’m back, I’m going to start working on a working demo. That might be a while, as I want to implement all the character creation bits I mentioned and more, but I hope to at least get the prologue and first couple chapters finished soon.


#20

While I’m working on the demo, are there any stats or customization options you guys would like to see? If it can be done, and if it fits the theme, I may add it in.


#21

As of now, the placement stats are set, as well as the first bit of customization. These stats are subject to change, so if you have suggestions, or even a stat or fighting style you’d like to see, let me know. Placement Stats Are:

Stealth: Percentage
Opposed Pair, Charisma and Stoic(?)
Opposed Pair: Compassion and Ruthlessness
Opposed Pair: Honor and Selfish
Magic: Percentage
Combat: Percentage
Opposed Pair: Good and Evil

Money: Numerical

Agility: Number
Endurance: Number
Perception: Number
Strength: Number
Intelligence: Number
Willpower: Number

Archery: Number
Traps: Number
Lockpicking: Number
Unarmed: Number
Daggers: Number
Alchemy: Number
Conjuration: Number
Scrying: Number
Healing: Number
Illusion: Number
Necromancy: Number
Summoning: Number
Transmutation: Number
Long Blades: N
Short Blades: N

Magical Corruption: Percentage
Magical Curse: An effect based on your highest magical skill. Only in effect at 100% Magical Corruption
Magical Boon: An effect based on your highest magical skill. Only in effect at 0% Magical Corruption

Magical Curses and Boons will only be granted to magic users, and Corruption will start at 50%. I have an idea on how to implement this, it will only be a matter of seeing if it works.