Thanks for your feedback I’ll just have to recreate it with something else. As per the division of text i’ll take care of it as well as of the other things you stated. My word count is 70.500 because my game is focused on replayability. Let me know if you find anything else and I’ll fix it!
Hello. I tried your demo a couple months back and thought it was a cute little game. But reading it again now, I’m sorry to say that I couldn’t finish it. It doesn’t seem like much has changed. Almost every choice leads to an abrupt The End, and rather than make me replay it, I just find myself losing interest.
Regarding the story, I know there is one, but most of it is told via introspection or the narrator commenting on what you chose. It’s not my cup of tea, but there are some who will like this style more.
As with my previous suggestions, I recommend dividing walls of texts into separate paragraphs to make it more readable. I know I definitely would give this another shot if it’s easier for me to read.
You should also capitalize the first letter of each sentence, especially with the choices. And I know you said there isn’t a stat screen, but maybe place something there, anything, maybe just a sentence would do, so it doesn’t turn up an error when somebody clicks on it. You could probably increase readability just by running your game through a spell checker or some word processor.
I wish you luck on your game! 
I’m willing to give it another try if it becomes more readable.
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Thanks for giving it another read! Your feedback is incredibly valuable, especially from someone who has already tried the demo. I’m taking all your points on board. I’ve made a lot of changes and added new scenes since your first play-through. I know it can still feel like a quick end, but there are now many more paths to explore. I’d be happy to give you a hint on how to access a specific new scene if you’re willing to try again. Thanks so much for the detailed notes on readability and capitalization—I’ll be sure to go through the whole manuscript with a fine-tooth comb.
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Hi Jacic, thanks so much for the feedback! You caught two really important things. I’ve already broken up the text walls and replaced the Bukowski poem with my own writing. I’d love it if you’d check out the latest version and let me know what you think!
Quick edit!
I realized after sending this that a few endings still have the old text. My apologies for that. I’m working on the final bug fixes and will upload the rest of the updated files with all the poems later today. Thanks for your patience!
The Creator’s Cut: My Quick Edit #2
Greetings, my loyal subjects. I, your humble creator/narrator, apologize for the slight delay. A storm of bugs raged through the labyrinth’s code, but I have vanquished them all. I have also rewoven the threads of the story, replacing the old verses with new ones.
The new build is now live. The tale continues, and your choices will define the path. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, as they are as valuable as a hero’s courage.
The Creator’s Cut: My Quick Edit #2
Greetings, my loyal subjects. I, your humble creator/narrator, apologize for the slight delay. A storm of bugs raged through the labyrinth’s code, but I have vanquished them all. I have also rewoven the threads of the story, replacing the old verses with new ones.
The new build is now live. The tale continues, and your choices will define the path. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, as they are as valuable as a hero’s courage.
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Cosmic Threads Maintenance: My Quick Edit #3
Greetings, my loyal subjects. I your humble creator/narrator, have an announcement to make: In an hour or so the cosmic threads of destiny will be somewhat severed, as inner maintenance is in order. The cosmic breath should remain intact and the scenes will only benefit for a renewal. So don’t be wary if code appears not working, just know a bigger plan is at works. Will tell you in another edit when the renewal is over and the scenes are now as they should be: bearing their own markings and motifs. The tale continues and your choices will define the path. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, as they are as valuable as a hero’s journey.
The Return Of Cosmic Pulse after a necessary break of order: My Quick Edit #4
Greetings, my loyal subjects. It’s me your humble creator/narrator announcing you the return of cosmic pulse and the full stop of maintenance of fatal weaving. The scenes are now uploaded, the code should now work. Thanks for joining me in this cosmic dance between conscious subconscious and id. The tale continues and your choices will define the path. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, as they are as valuable as as the inner monologue of a hero before the timeless dilemmas of choice.
Dialogue about the Cosmic Pause: My Quick Edit#5
Protagonist:Again with this? What is it like your second time in a row?
Creator/Narrator:Yeah so what? Bonsai trees require a lot of aftercare and so do the lines of code the stories and cosmic threads or do you think that the fates don’t rest every now or then?Even Sisyphus rested a bit from his torment when Orpheus visited Underworld and played his lyre.This thing I am doing is just more work. In fact in a way Kafka and Dostoyevsky would certainly get it can you?
Protagonist then looks at player that sits behind their screen waiting: You see? I tried. But this arguement is correct-more correct than I would like it to be- so take care and wait more. Good stuff is going on and you have every reason to feel happy about it.
Creator/Narrator with Protagonist: We thank you, awesome people for being here and swear that this update will be a good one. Shortly the threads will be inteerwined better and the cosmic tapestry even more well built and maintaned.
Beauty of Cosmic Tapestry: My Quick Edit#6
Creator/Narrator:See?Aren’t they better?
Protagonist:Yeah but still so much rework.Hopefully the players like them, as much work as they needed and as much as we both love them. At least tell me it’s the final?
Creator/Narrator:Define final?
Protagonist:Final like the end of this severing and renewal.
Creator/Narrator:Well then please don’t be disappointed but at least a couple more and we’re set.
Protagonist: Damn sounds like a big cosmic break. Hopefully Cosmos won’t need Carpa.
It won’t. Have faith. I find your lack of faith … disturbing
Protagonist. I have faith
Creator/Narrator oh okay. This is wonderful to know. Let me work in peace now
Distorted awakening My Quick Edit#7
After gazing upon cosmos creator/narrator and protagonist felt at ease.
Protagonist: Okay then I’m going to sleep now. What about you?
Creator/Narrator: I’ll just watch the pieces of Cosmos as beautiful as they are now.
Protagonist: Sounds good. Goodnight
Creator/Narrator: Yeah. Goodnight
Creator/Narrator gazes once more to the cosmos and falls asleep under the stars.
Next morning arrives and the situation is critical. A distorted voice from the beyond says repeatedly: Bug Found! Bug Found! like a Prophet of Apocalypse.
Protagonist: What is this?
Creator/Narrator: A bug, what else? They come like moths, trying their best to destroy the tapestry from within!
Protagonist: Sounds Ominous. What should we do?Do you require assistance fending it off? Answer! I can help! Just tell me! It is approaching!
Creator/Narrator wakes up abruptly looking at the fatal tapestry of Cosmos from within and outside, being omiscient and all.
Creator/Narrator: The Comsic Tapestry is even more beautiful today for some reason. No bugs just the cool breeze of dawn colored in a way no great artist could ever paint, no great poet could ever describe. Could swore that, what i saw was true, but thankfully it wasn’t. Tis was just a dream. A dream within a dream.
Kintsugi pottery and Cosmic Destruction My Quick Edit#8
Protagonist: Yeah the cosmic tapestry is beautiful. But what about Kintsugi pottery? Do you feel like it is as beautiful?
Creator/Narrator:Kintsugi is part of the cosmic tapestry. Don’t they teach anything in the schools? Did they just allow you to buy stars and black holes and name stars and planets only?No wonder why the stars get scarce. Some would say it’s just a natural phenomenon that happens because of light pollution in big cities, but we all know that even stars can’t bear it and do facepalms every once in a while. These facepalms are so strong they die out. Entering the Duat or be like Simpson gif of disappearing inside the grass
DISCLAIMER: Scientifically proven scientists facepalming join the sea of dead stars in the Duat. And because the amount of feathers is getting lower by the years kindly refrain from partaking in this dangerous sport while reading about cosmic cryptic language of judging you that no facts can talk about, but my simplest keenest observation. Scientists please leave your scientific method standby, because sometimes it’s not required. Enjoy the trip from Higgs Wormholes and refrain from telling grandpa jokes.
Protagonist:Calm down you old timer. It was just a question. And speaking of questions: When do you plan some cosmic maintenance? Previously you said something like at least two more times of cosmic maintenance.
Creator/Narrator:I did, didn’t I? Won’t tell you till it is this day because currently I am pretty happy with how things are and I am awaiting some scouts to tell me if there are bugs over there and their commentary of every piece of the cosmic tapestry.
Protagonist:I see. You’ve been busy! Hope your method helps in the short and long run!
Creator/Narrator:I hope so too. Let us hope this works. Anyway back to silently awaiting the news.
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(Un)Holy Inquisition My quick Edit #9
Creator/Narrator:There they stood two holy inquisitions instead of the one taking its place. No Jesuit monks this time only artists and scientists. I know what you thinking: How could these two happen at same time? How could this happen after the first one failing? How and why do I allow this instead of acting?
Creator/Narrator:Well too many questions and let’s answer each one. I guess fanatics have their way of destroying what’s separating them when they have to fight something. Perhaps we should learn from them just this one thing how to be united. As per why it is happening I guess necessity the darkest kind. As per me not partaking yet -and I underline yet-the reason is simple. In a bit there will be fireworks of sorts! And I am a romantic at heart I believe in dreams on first glance what about you?
Creator/Narrator:Artistic inquisition where artists claim artistic authorities like Michelangelo and Picasso defined the norms and actually support the “pure art” they talk about.
Scientific inquisition claiming inspiration from quotes life and active support from Marie Curie and Dimitri Mendeleev as well as Nikola Tesla.
They gathered in the central plaza by the sea having the rebels tied and awaiting their punishment perhaps their final one. A sophisticated final moment of character execution.
Anyway see you in a bit
Some cosmic seconds pass and all that could be heard was the drumming and the voices of the crowd before it becomes one voice.
Then as the executioners were about to do their well paid job:
Creator/Narrator: Fool mate everyone!
The inquisitors looked abruptly where the shout came from and their calm execution and parody of a trial turned into a moment of pure confusion and some part of existential terror that grew larger as they saw more of what they couldn’t guess by any means.
Creator/Narrator on top of a Norwegian Forest cat holding a keyboard and mouse like weapons along with some pencils and papers as ammunition.
Behind them Tesla on top of a black Norwegian Forest cat delivering lines like electric bolts: If your hate could be turned into electricity it would light up the whole world! Then he urged the cat forward
Onwards Macak!
Marie Curie holding lab equipment on top of an orange Norwegian cat came on through delivering quotes easily while marching riding her cat: Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Right next to Marie Curie, Dimitri Mendeleev rode on top of a silver Norwegian cat delivering a fundamental piece of their truth: It is the function of science to discover the existence of a general reign of order in nature and to find the causes governing this order
Then Michelangelo came along riding an Aegean cat of white and black delivering another punchline: If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem wonderful so at all
Michelangelo, Tesla, Marie Curie, Picasso, Mendeleev shouting in unison:The inquisitors falsely stated we support them we are here to rebel against them.
The battle was ferocious. It gathered the interest of Sumerian god Marduk who watched in awe thoughtful as ever considering if his win over Goddess Tiamat could ever be as chaotic absurd or even meaningful as this moment of humanity’s triumph over a corrupted purist inquisition that could have brought her back to a different darker side of medieval era but without the marginalia and drolleries on the manuscripts of said era.
Creator/Narrator: It’s an announced mate! They have to concede defeat! Look! The pawns escape the board!
Inquisitors fled the scene as fast as they could. Their reality was shattered into thousands of pieces. Humanity was victorious! For now and perhaps the future!
Dancing to the end or not My quick Edit #10
Then there came silence
The voices no more
No more battle sounds
Only silence everlasting one
Everything came to an end abruptly as sudden music echoed throughout the cosmos
Creator/Narrator: My bad. Thought I invested enough in soundproofing yet it’s not the case
Protagonist: Why making it soundproof and why the sudden music? Took me by surprise. The silence was deafening and the stillness so profound.
Creator/Narrator: Up for another flyting or perhaps a poetry night? And I told you quit reading Keating Hemingway and Shaekspeare. But no you had to read everything and make the library as chaotic as it could get!
Protagonist: Yeah sure but don’t elude me. I asked you something and would very much appreciate it if you could answer
Creator/Narrator: Well if you put it like that, I celebrate! This battle was ferocious and tiresome and some music can always alleviate the worry and pain as well as the suffering of all sorts. Even Sisyphus stopped rolling his boulder when Orpheus played his lyre!
Protagonist: True that. What are you listening? Caught a whimsical almost theatrical lyric something about king or a moonchild?
Creator/Narrator: Correct somehow. You should definitely check the lottery numbers today. I think the 13, 21 and 40 would prove quite profitable.
Protagonist:If it’s another of your pranks I swear…
Creator/Narrator: No prank this time. I swear on *whispers*
Protagonist: Well this is definitely a heavy oath. If you break it I will never trust you again!
Creator/Narrator: Fine come here. Here take the lottery tickets. And in 7 minutes the results will come. Here take my cosmic radio.
In exactly 7 minutes:
Voice from the radio: “Welcome everyone to our podcast on Sunday lottery. Without further ado as everyone got their job and the system won’t stop for any of us: The lucky numbers are 13,21,40!!!Winner gets 2.820.000 LDR”
Protagonist: I won!!! You were right after all!!!
Creator/Narrator: Should I just say: Told you so?
Protagonist: well you already did but given your foresight prove valuable I’ll allow it!
Creator/Narrator: Of course you will! In this case I told you so! Now did you want to ask something or you stopped my break for no apparent reason?
Protagonist: Was about asking what music did you listen to apart from King Crimson.
Creator/Narrator: Now or generally?
Protagonist: How about both?
Creator/Narrator: Now I listen to some psychedelic rock so King Crimson mostly especially the album the court of Crimson King.Also some Bauhaus, This Cold Night and some others.Apart from that depending on the mood and the playlist. Every music genre can be for different time or mood and you just have to find your jam you know?Kinda found mine and these are just some of the names in my list.
Protagonist: True I agree with everything you said right now! Can’t even remember the last time we agreed on something completely.
Creator/Narrator: It must have been the lottery win! But yeah whatever it is I’m glad for you winning and we agreeing this way! It’s liberating. I didn’t play the tickets because I had some work all day but I am glad for you! Really glad!Now wanna join? Or wanna go? I really value your opinion and you can choose whatever. Wouldn’t deprive you of your choice one way or the other!
Protagonist: Yeah I’ll stay!
Creator/Narrator: Great! Let’s relax for a bit!
King Crimson tracks echo in the vast space that the two call home, leaving both to hangout and enjoy their more than earned break.
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When the music is over but Cosmos still breaths My quick Edit #11
The music went on and on.
Playlist after playlist.
When it seemed like enough music stopped
By common decision.
Creator/Narrator: You know these moments of musical bliss really helped me rest a bit. The universe shrinks and expands like breathing. And about moments doesn’t it feel weird how it changed its meaning throughout centuries?
Creator/Narrator:A moment was a medieval unit of time, equivalent to about 90 seconds or 1.5 minutes, and it was defined as 1/40th of a solar hour. This system was based on the movement of a sundial’s shadow and was used before the standardization of time by mechanical clocks, which introduced a fixed 60-minute hour and 60-second minute. The length of a “solar hour” and thus a “moment” varied with the seasons, as it was a twelfth of the daylight period. But now? A moment is a brief unexpected version of time like an instant or few seconds which is highly subjective and context related.
Protagonist: Oh so it’s one of these times then?
Creator/Narrator: What times? What are you referring to? It’s highly unlikely you refer to the work Tale of Two cities right? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…
Protagonist: Honestly I didn’t. But when you put it like that we agree on the meaning. No I referred to the times you become a walking encyclopedia and say seemingly random stuff that connect somehow
Creator/Narrator: First of all thanks for the compliment but I am not living encyclopedia I just say something stuff that seemingly aren’t connected but they are because the truth hides in plain view quite often.
Protagonist: Yeah yeah whatever still you prove my point. You know more than you let on.
Creator/Narrator: I do know more than I let on, yet I don’t know as much as I would like to so it is what it is I guess? Anyway did you like the music break?
Protagonist: Yeah felt like elevator music sometimes or like watching a favourite movie more often than not.
Creator/Narrator: I know exactly what you talking about and it felt like this for me as well. Music though quite often used for different things I don’t know if she’s appropriate enough to describe what it meant or if music is more than appropriate in doing so?
Protagonist: Speaking in riddles again? Well I won’t blame you for it. After all I won the lottery thanks to you so you’re in the clear for quote some time!
Creator/Narrator: Kinda figured it out but thanks for making it official. I’ll hold on to it if you contradict yourself! And no riddles just a simple observation-one I wouldn’t like to trouble you with-
Protagonist: Yeah well I won’t contradict myself but thanks for being as honest as you are dramatic! It kinda adds to your charm! Now you may tell me what the reference is! Quit being all mysterious already!
Creator/Narrator: Fine. My point is this: How can music help inspire doom and manipulate simultaneously?
Protagonist: Is it a rhetorical question, a part of a dramatic monologue, or do you want my opinion on it?
Creator/Narrator: I want your answer basically so as to get what you make of it and see about it!
Protagonist: Fine then! The way I see it there are two sides of it:The human side and the cosmic side.
Protagonist:The human side makes of music what they want or need of it so as to convert music from its original external nature to something belonging to them. Immanuel Kant spoke extensively of it. His theory is called “the thing-in-itself” (Ding an sich).
The thing in itself is an object’s true nature or reality existing independently of Human perception or understanding.
Protagonist:For this reason it’s safe to assume we may not directly know it as we can only experience its manifestations as phenomena through subject cognitive ability tied in place with dimensions like space or time.
Protagonist:This concept also known as the noumeron, serves to remind us of the limits of human knowledge, distinguishing between the world we understand as being from what the world truly is objectively.
Protagonist:In simple terms a book we own and read a lot is more than the content and is perceived like its importance in our memories daily life and its role in how we associate it with other things subjectively and personally. A musical song as another example is more than the lyrics and the sound but the memories it awakens and the emotions behind it.
Protagonist:Cosmic side of it just is. You can’t ask why planets have their sound frequency. You can’t question the buzzing of a bee, the sound of waves. They just are. And this existence is sacred and brings a sort of cosmic balance
Creator/Narrator: Quite astute. Let’s discuss it more shall we?
Both discussed this thoroughly as well as other subjects replacing the earlier music with their voices presenting ideas and their application.
Is it a thesis on ideological warfare?Or a rhetorical question?My quick edit #12
After discussing thoroughly on a variety of things, Creator/Narrator said the following:
Creator/Narrator:So there you have it a pure moment of socratic dialogue-a dialogue that wants more than persuading seeking actually the truth-and the joke is on us because Socrates as well as other great thinkers is dead. The forensics said poisoning by conium, a death made inescapable because Socrates couldn’t have it other way.
Creator/Narrator:How many individuals can die so that the arts and philosophy can die with them? Thinkers stay alive because of ideas artists by their art authors by works yet even stones are broken by thunderstorms even planets are destroyed by comets and if you think about it we live in our bubble world forced to experience everything through a personal lense but we already talked about Kant and his philosophical concept of in-itself.
Protagonist: Yeah we did. Though was ancient Greece or any place ideal? Back then there were slaves women couldn’t vote and people in power or rich tried gaining more profits like today. In Ancient Egypt and in Alexandria the priests used machines and machinations so as to show to devout followers of pantheon they could communicate with gods.
Protagonist:And fanatics use this psychological warfare of a promise to divinity in every religion that can have fanatics so as these fanatics can commit atrocities or give their life in exchange of something divine like entering a paradise. But are fanatics the problem? Is the modern day or antiquity the issue or something else?
Creator/Narrator: Every era is ideal and not at same time. We can’t really talk about ancient Greece without judging it in modern terms and in that we do history a disservice. The modern day slavery for instance is minimum wage worker without labour rights. Women vote today but the voting system is not always for the people as in a way we have self destructive as society dilemmas where we have to choose between Scylla and Charybdis daily. The problems of today on their core are not born today except the over specific I guess?
Creator/Narrator:For instance dermatologist may treat skin of women because not all of cosmetics are bio or botanical and extensive use may create issues. Back in ancient Greece they put lead on cosmetics that women used for skin lightening and to cover blemishes. This use of lead is well documented in ancient Rome as well. The use of lead back then could have serious consequences often disfigurement as the lead could eat the skin and health problems that ancient medicine couldn’t yet explain.The priests at least some of them as we can’t judge all because of some rotten apples- as this judgement will occur to us and at least we have to be better than who judging us if for no other reason-will always try appearing as godlike as giving speeches and generally acting in a Goffman way. It’s about appearance and protocol and setting example.
Creator: Narrator:Can we blame fanatics? As society we are toxic and we have been toxic and we will be toxic no matter how advanced because we build more mousetraps than evolve.
Creator/Narrator: Let’s take debating for instance. Back then the rhetors used kereteion a sceptre that only the one speaking could hold and when they finished they gave it to other side. Was it flawless? No
Are we flawless? Of course not. We’re imperfectly perfect like Kitsugi pottery and maybe it’s better this way. Ancient Greece was full of demagogues and if you analyse it enough all human history is full of people abusing their authority and not always for the better.
Protagonist:So it’s about psychological ideological warfare? Schopenhauer Machiavelli even Saint Thomas Aquinas spoke of it albeit differently. Saint Thomas Aquinas spoke of divine kingdom. Machiavelli warned us of bad rulers while also making them appear as good as the mass requires in a somewhat cynical way. Schopenhauer spoke about fallacies and tricks of how to win a debate. Things that happened happen and will happen as tricks. Then why debating? What is the concept of modern debate if everything is rotten?
Creator/Narrator: I agree somewhat with you but on the debate thing I have to disagree. You don’t need a justification to debate or discuss but if you do let it be this: Freedom in doing so. If you can’t discuss and say your opinion then it’s New Oceania and 1984 Everywhere and Animal Farm. The best of protecting peace and the wisest won’t be Aristoi but benevolent rulers that think for you chat about your issues and you are free not to think about it.
Creator/Narrator:Modern day debating isn’t always about think tank but we can’t completely blame it as it does sone good here and there.
Creator/Narrator:The worst thing modern debate does though is a new forum of martyrdom and the creation of impressions through an artistic almost delicate and marvellous somewhat form of propaganda. It happened before where killing an individual wasn’t enough or killing their character was more than enough to obliterate and ostracize them. And new individuals will be killed and ostracized new martyrs or every side. Just to have the moral high ground and the killing of character will be done in fine lettering and speeches.
Creator/Narrator: As bloodless as it will get sometimes almost like the silk noose in royalty killing-from individuals sharing the same blood- This form of execution is just an example. Examples of this exist throughout humanity throughout the world and historical eras. So the way I see it is if finally we will self destruct or despite our flaws -or maybe because of them- we will evolve and bloom like sunflowers giving life to barren radioactive soil.
Protagonist: Is this a thesis on ideological warfare or a rhetorical question?
Creator/Narrator: Why can’t it be both?
Protagonist: Yeah both sounds good
Creator/Narrator: Agreed!
Protagonist: I guess we both made good points maybe because we search more for the truth and less for being right. Let’s chat some more!
Creator/Narrator: I agree! Let’s!
And so both continued debating and discussing with passion and an unyielding love for wisdom truth and justice.
Identity theft and other social crimes My quick Edit#13
Protagonist: These debates are beautiful and thematic correct but could have been so tiresome have I not been interested in this.So what happens next?
Creator/Narrator: Everything can be tiring. Living a full life and living a mediocre life or in between can be tiring and difficult at same time. You choose your tiring difficult part. You will experience so many things in life. So that when you grow older you may advise the next generations that will not listen to you as much as you would have wanted and this fact would only be natural as you may have never listened to the elders as much as they would have wanted as well but now you think you are a figure of authority. Think again. You can share your experience but there’s no absolutes and only ways. All of us are somewhat confused in a crossroads and if you feel too certain you’ll go down easily. If you feel too confused you are already threading the path to your damnation. So I guess what is next is chatting on this theme
Protagonist: So more discussion then? Is there anything else we may try?
Creator/Narrator: I don’t feel like resting right now but if you are feel free to. Perhaps we may talk on other stuff if it got too heavy? Like flowers in our cosmic garden? Your choice. I’ll be here awaiting. Maybe being too serious while doing so pondering what I told you. Perhaps you can ponder on it too without being too serious about it though!
Protagonist: It’s not just about it being heavy. It’s just not what I’d love right now. Perhaps because it resonated too much and I have no words or answers right now. My mind is a mess thinking of stuff so maybe grounding me and grounding us with something else may help? I know how much you worked on this and I think resting is in order in between.
Creator/Narrator: I agree with you on rest in between. We may talk on flowers then other stuff or just be or all of them. I think we may begin all of them.
Protagonist: Good so what do you think of scientific names on plants and plant family? Do they serve their purpose make scientists feel like sages of tomorrow or both?
Creator/Narrator:What is the identity of a flower? Maybe far more than a scientific name and this scientific name is good for botanists and not so good for general use? Making the scientists something like sages who overcomplicated stuff or because they are already complicated.But a flower’s identity protection is different from a person’s identity.
Protagonist: You are correct in that.Persons create change somewhat or completely identity and then have to defend it. As Carl Jung said: The world will ask you who you are and if you can’t tell them the world will tell you.Still official documents can be lost or stolen and then said person will explore a Kafkaesque world from within having the system treat them as just another person with bureaucratic procedures that serve the interests of both maybe more the system but the system helps if it stays in power right?
Creator/Narrator: So long as nobody can or want to correct the system it will remain in power. And it’s not the worker’s fault more like public’s fault or the fault of private sector. The fault of the high ranking officers and the fault of an idea on rules and laws still existing.
Protagonist: I agree with you! It’s just that I had this realisation of sorts and I’m really relieved this identity crisis won’t happen to me in the long or short run because it isn’t defined by documents but from other factors.Max Weber be damned!
Creator/Narrator: Exactly! Something absurd like a “playthrough”, my writing style and your apparent acceptance of it. We still have ways of communicating with eachother so the plot will move on respectfully
Protagonist: I know and these make me be at ease!
So they talked some more and rested more than that having a great time no matter what!
Silphium: No more, because I loved you so… My quick edit#14
Creator/Narrator:So these are pretty interesting but what about flowers in general? We talked briefly about their identity but I think lots of things could be said!
Protagonist:True that. Do you plan on identifying a favourite flower? A garden? A name? A species name in latin?
Creator/Narrator: Too many questions but no. I plan on speaking of manuscripts and forgotten herbs one in particular. Any idea which one?
Protagonist: I have some ideas. Is it the Glossopteris? The largest and best known genus of extinct Permian order of seed plants: Glossopteridales(also known as Ottokariales, Arberiales, Dictyopteridiales) Species of Glossopterus were the dominant trees if middle to high-lattitude lowland vegetation often in swamp habitats across Gondwana (the remnants of Gondwana make the two thirds of today’s continental area including South America, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, Zealand, Arabia and Indian sub continent) The glossopteris forest ecosystems became extinct as part of end Permian mass extinction event approximately 252 million years ago by abrupt temperature rise produced by eruption of Siberian traps.
Protagonist:Is it Franklinia ? Franklinia was native to the Altamaha River valley in Georgia in the southeastern United States. It has been extinct in the wild since 19th century but survives as a cultivated ornamental tree. Why it came extinct is unknown but there are strong theories for a combination of factors like habitat loss from land clearing for cotton farms, over collection by early botanists, a fungal disease introduced by cotton industry that the tree’s small genetically limited population couldn’t withstand. Some other factors may have been floods fires and the species inability to adapt to changing conditions.
Protagonist:All known Franklin trees today are descendants of seeds collected by botanists John and William Bartram in the late 18th century. By bringing the seeds into cultivation in Philadelphia the Bartrams saved the species from complete extinction ensuring its survival in gardens and arboretums worldwide. But because it still exists nowadays I don’t think you meant that.
Protagonist:Or is it toromiro tree? Toromiro tree or sophora toromiro a species of flowering trees in the legume family Fabaceae endemic to Easter Island. Sophora toromiro is extinct in the wild due to over harvesting and overgrazing but some individuals survive in botanical and private collections. It holds significant cultural importance to the Rapa Nui People known for its statues and ceremonial objects as well as tools made from the tree.
The list I have in mind is a large one.
Creator/Narrator: Really good and educated guesses but no the plant in my mind is actually silphium.
Protagonist: Oh so this is the answer you were looking for? Well go on I’m eager to learn about it!
Creator/Narrator: Well silphium also known as laserwort or laser in ancient greek σίλφιον silphium is an unidentified plan used on classical antiquity as a seasoning, perfume, aphrodisiac and medicine. It originated in Cyrene the ancient nort African city and was broadly used in trade and was fundamental for Cyrenian economy in such a way that most of the coins bore an image of the plant. The plant’s resin also known as laserpicium or laser. The exact identity of plant is unclear but two possible relatives have been identified: the giant fennel in the genus Ferula and the extinct plant Thapsia gummifera. Another possible origin story may be that silphium may have been a high quality of asafoetida a common spice in Roman Empire (asafoetida: the dried latex exuded from the rhizome or taproot of various Ferula species, perennial herbs of carrot family. Produced in Afghanistan, Central Asia Southern India and Northwest China: Xinjiang) Silphium and asafoetida were considered same by many Romans including Strabo a famous geographer. The plant was sung by poets and singers considered it equivalent to its weight in gold. Theophrastus mentioned silphium as having thick roots covered in black Bart 48 cm long with hollow stalk similar to fennel and golden leaves like the ones of celery. Silphium had a remarkable narrow native range (201 by 56km) in southern stepped of Cyrenaica (present day Libya). It went extinct perhaps due to its narrow range or more factors like overgrazing, over harvesting but a main factor that lead to its extinction perhaps have been the desertification in ancient Cyrenaica. It was used to cure cough sore throat fever ingestion aches and pains warts and all kinds of maladies. The plant may also have been used as contraceptive and abortifacient. Silphium was used in Graeco-Roman recipes mainly ones written by Apiicus.
Protagonist: Okay this is some great information and thanks for sharing it with me! I sometimes thank the writers that went into such detail writing about things we’ll never get to know. For instance the botanical manuscripts that were written serve as great guides in botany for the curious the hobbyists and professionals alike. Dioscorides’ De Materia Medica , Hortus Sanitatis in 15th century, Tactatus de Hebris. And let us not forget about Basilius Besler’s Florilegium in 17th century, the Georg Dionysus Ehret in 18th century and Jane Colden’s Botanical Manuscript. However the issue is in the rarity of them in the sample pages available and that each book may seem too heavy for the audience.
Creator/Narrator: I agree with you but what about Voynich Manuscript? Why haven’t you included it?
Protagonist: Because sadly it’s not demonstrably deciphered and none of the proposed hypotheses have been independently verified. There in the hypotheses is one I kinda like: That it was written by Leonardo Da Vinci as a private diary in his youth to record observations in plants in his grandfather’s garden herbal plants and recipes human reproduction and astronomy. It’s a human explanation of a witty individual and I like it. Voynich Manuscript has 240 vellum pages but some pages that appear to be missing. Voynich Manuscript is the most mysterious book currently and is owned by Yale University and it is housed in Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library in New Haven Connecticut. The Manuscript was acquired by the library in 1969 after being sold by Wilfrid Voynich’s widow to a bookseller. Wilfrid Voynich bought it in 1912. Currently everyone can see the Voynich Manuscript by looking at high resolution images of the entire manuscript made available for research in the digital library of Yale by Beinecke Library.
Creator/Narrator: I see. Your justification is a great one! But in your knowledge and Manuscripts I didn’t see any mention of Versuche über Pflanzenhybriden(Experiments on Plant Hybridization) written by the great Austrian monk and scientist Gregor Mendel who studied physics, chemistry mathematics, zoology and botany in 1851. Gregor Mendel is the father of genetics and DNA with experiments he made with peas in the garden of St Thomas Abbey Brno. I think his work would have been a wonderful addition to your list and maybe an addition to your mind palace!
Protagonist: You’re right! This should be along the greatest of manuscripts in my list and mind palace! His contribution was fundamental and his work should be a centerpiece for enthusiasts hobbyists and professionals alike! He was a pioneer and has more than earned his place in the greatest humans scientists artists etc ever existed!
And so this discussion came to a thematic end as both went to rest a bit happy for another beautiful discussion and ready to explore the wonders of tomorrow!
Silphium and sea cows. Do you spot the difference/similarity?#15
Creator/Narrator: The extinction of toromiro tree and silphium are directly attributed to human impact. Or human impact is a major factor for their extinction. Whatever the case may be and forgive me my wordplay but fact remains. If humans try limiting their destructive nature perhaps the ecosystem will not only survive but thrive!
Protagonist: I agree! There’s common ground between humans and sharks because both hunt down animals and have a large footprint on environment. But given our evolution we are the only species destroying so much and help so little.Non government associations may have helped in fulfilling their mission and volunteers work well in association. and networking with like minded individuals but they sacrifice some of their individuality and their work may be used to promote the general act of organisation. You lose some win some it’s all about perspective I guess.
Protagonist:If today we don’t fight then tomorrow we and the next generations will be doomed to suffer our indifference.
Creator/Narrator: Your words are truly inspired! But speaking of evolution your canine teeth evolved to be more brittle because the food now is cooked. We’re no longer hunters. We’re consumers. Carnivores vegetarians pescararians whatever each and every one wants! The system will meet your needs in order for you to exist in it. If you plan on going against then with much needed pleasantries and procedures that will act on “your interests” you may become a target. Won’t be a target but just a gaijin, a burakumin.
Protagonist: Yeah the system needs cogs to function, strict formulas, hierarchy, bureaucracy. It’s not the only way but it’s our current way. Our safe zone predetermined our own damnation and we just sit around waiting for the fireworks in our personal apocalypse. The end of our world in micro explosion that still allows the Cosmos to breath without caring.
Protagonist:The Cosmos won’t care about a star going dark. Or will it? I think it will. It sheds a tear of stardust to mourn the loss of another star in solemn near sacred silence and in the most epic funeral possible where stars go dark silently the cosmos falls like a curtain on the Vienna opera after the overture has been played. And about evolution? How many species of human did modern day human come from? We see modern human and we think the evolution was linear but it wasn’t. The characteristics have been changed and the survival instinct helped a lot with several mutations. Different colour in different location, heterochromia, different height, weight, and specifics.
Creator/Narrator: Exactly! Take the cruelty from instance that we masked it in finesse and tailored suits and dresses and politeness and Savoir Vivre! Speeches on parliament, on social media, on public venues, things need addressing while moments pass till you forget what your day had in it. We are unjust towards others and ourselves. And as a cherry on top we killed one of the friendliest if not the friendliest species on planet earth just for profit: the sea cows.
Creator/Narrator:And then near the end you see a sunset, a sunrise, you feel the breeze of the sea, you smell gasoline under a cloudy sky pouring rain of lead and you just wish your last minutes won’t be the last. Because you had just something more to live love and create and then you have it the cruelty: Cruelty of not living our life properly and cruelty to others perhaps as a way to cope with the former type.
Creator/Narrator: So what do you propose? Eliminate anything from planet earth on cosmic reboot of sorts what will it be?
Protagonist: Difficult question. Perhaps our (self )destructive nature? If the planet is balanced and our life is balanced with no pollution no big corps no big factories perhaps we may have a chance? But factories and big corps serve a necessity or a desire. A desire can be masked as necessity and a necessity can be masked as desire.
Protagonist:The system changes but our nature is the same. We look backwards to be inspired but even the ones before us did the same. The grandeur we look for in antiquity was nonexistent at the scale we imagine it without saying that these weren’t glorious times. But I think the best quote for this specific case could be something from “A tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens” : It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.
Protagonist:As each era has its symbols we have our own to celebrate, mourn and fuel our positive and negative views feelings and thoughts. So perhaps instead of despairing over the upcoming apocalypse that won’t await as in clocks of apocalypse or in media news the best we could do would be to resurrect silphium anthemion and sea cows. Metaphorically and literally. These symbols would act as a guide to something better our own version of ambrosia in our labyrinth to be closer to something better than our mortal nature something the religious would even call divine!
Creator/Narrator: Finally glad to see some hope when all things seemed lost!But in order to hope, dream, and apply everything… we need to change our mentality to a greener, more respectful one! Else we may destroy the planet and the other planets we may colonise will suffer the same cruel fate! A buried dream of surviving dug into by our self destructive nature. The example of this being a theory and perhaps a foresight can be discussed to be each and every one from Asimov’s books to others. But I think one of the best is found on Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. So in order for it not happening let’s try to be our best versions. At least we may look in our damnation this way and just be glad we tried.
Protagonist: Exactly! So lets try making a difference by becoming something we as children may have looked towards being (and I’m not just talking about jobs we thought were cool back then but about being happy and just where we need to be).
Protagonist and narrator then discussed some more on these themes changing the theme to interior design at times or stuff they found interesting having necessary breaks here and then so as to breathe properly!
Still life on Cosmic Canvas My quick Edit #16.
Creator/Narrator: Given everything we talked about in our previous discussion perhaps it’s time to address a specific topic: Art but with some tweaks.
Protagonist: Interesting kind of change but what tweaks would these be?
Creator/Narrator: First tweak would be something I deem quite proper given the state of being we both experiencing right now. The art that we will address will be on cosmic scale. First of all what is art? Is it just the result? Is it a canvas on a crowded or not room in a gallery? Is it something more or less?
Protagonist: I believe art just is. If we analyse each school based on the use of colour shadow and light it’s like analysing poetry just from the metrics and rhythm and not from its meaning and this doesn’t help us feel the lyrics. It’s like mathematics. The answers to calculations and questions need more than the numbers after the equal sign. And poetry isn’t destined to be something over something else. If something can bring in discussions while being respectful is art. I don’t mean to sound puritan perfectionist but art needs to be respectful to its time, to its theme, to our collective conscious subconscious and id.
Creator/Narrator: I see. Interesting wording. I have a weird sense of deja vu but it must have been the theme or something I can’t point my finger on… Moving on. I think it’s completely unsafe to proceed without paying homage to a certain school of art and it’s absurd to just speak of Dadaism modernism baroque and other art movements or periods interconnected so let’s just do the latter! Let’s start with the art caring enough to showcase the form.
Creator/Narrator:We can be more formal and say about the artistic periods on time and place like prehistoric art antiquity medieval Byzantine islamic Baroque gothic and renaissance surrealism and modernism post modernism but I think it’s too much to unpack and it’s better to just name drop the movements and artists. This is no trivia and perhaps what an audience would love listening to would be the merge of everything to express reality or something else along the way. Do you agree?
Protagonist: Damn I wanted to see how you would make those centuries of art look like in a short discussion but it’s better plotwise to continue as you said. But no simple name dropping I don’t think the audience you talked about would prefer a simple name dropping and your simple name dropping I already know it’s a clever tactic of factual surprise attack so go on! I’m pretty interested in how you’ll present it already!
Creator/Narrator:A spoiler warning should have been added. Or isn’t the modern cinema and audiovisual presentation like that? Guess this is no normal presentation so you’re excused this time. But given our shared history I got my eyes on you. No sudden plot reveals or behind the scenes commentary until it serves us,the plot, or something creative that doesn’t hinder us from what we have.
Protagonist stands into attention taking all the gravity holiness and purity of the moment at heart before saying the following:
Protagonist: I solemnly swear on*whispers* that I’ll uphold the plot as it was is and is developing without destroying it by unceremoniously revealing it so long as you don’t jeopardize our position out relationship and the creation of it all.
Creator/Narrator: I took solemnly swear on*whispers* that I’ll uphold the plot and not sacrifice part of it or the entirety of it to a gimmick or out of a trick fallacy or otherwise any action inaction that would irrevocably break what we both hold sacred.
They delivered these lines in full seriousness and their oaths that only they listened to had immense gravity because of the holiness of what they swore upon. After this emotionally deep and felt moment it was time to push the plot forward!
Creator/Narrator: So the first ever artists can not be addressed as formally as their later counterparts as these individuals painted the caves and created the concept of prehistoric art. The art before history becomes a hot thing with all the documentation necessary to create a sense of social, spiritual, generational belonging. The importance of prehistoric art is found in the profound way that it tied up human existence with art, making it a desire as primal and pivotal as the survival instinct. Centerpieces of this period include Venus figurines especially the Venus of Hohlen Fels and Venus of Willendorf found in Germany and Austria.
Creator/Narrator:Most have small heads, wide hips, and legs that taper to a point. Arms and feet are often absent, and the head is usually small and faceless.
Creator/Narrator:The Venus of Hohle Fels is one of the numerous objects found at the Caves and Ice Age Art in the Swabian Jura UNESCO World Heritage Site, where the oldest non-stationary works of human art yet discovered were found, in the form of carved animal and humanoid figurines, in addition to the oldest musical instruments unearthed so far, with the artifacts dating between 43,000 and 35,000 BC.
Creator/Narrator:The best-known prehistoric artworks are the large Paleolithic cave paintings that depict animals in continental Europe, particularly the ones at Lascaux in the Dordogne region of France. Several hundred decorated caves are known, spanning the Upper Paleolithic period (c. 38,000–12,000 BC). There are examples in Ukraine, Italy and Great Britain, but most of them are in France and Spain. Many theories have been suggested about the art’s purpose, the most possible one is that it was part of religious rituals, possibly to ensure hunting success.
Creator/Narrator:Notable mentions that bridge the gap and broaden the horizon include oceanic art native art procolombian art.
Creator/Narrator:In antiquity there were many civilisations that appeared and produced beautiful complicated and thematic art. The Mesopotamia with Sumerian and Babylonian civilizations as well as the Assyrian figures, The Chinese civilization, the Hittite Empire, The Ancient Greek civilization the ancient Roman civilization the Hindus Valley civilization the Persian civilization and the lost goes on and on.
Creator/Narrator:What we need to get is the way all these connect to each other or are separate from eachother. For instance Egyptian art in antiquity had impeccable grandeur celebrating Pharaoh as reincarnated divine.
Creator/Narrator:In Egypt there was a hierarchy on the core of the state so most worked for the Pharaoh delivering marvels like the Sphinx the three pyramids and the valley of kings. Ancient Egyptian art Ancient Greek art and Ancient Roman art connect in the depiction of forms -however in the mythological religious part the ancient Egyptian art is a marvel of its own with how it depicts gods like Anubis osiris sekmet for instance with the unison of humane and animalistic characteristics for each god.
Creator/Narrator:Ancient Greek art,ancient Roman art were connected as the pantheon was similar but the ancient religions had a similar pantheon either if we see it through a Jungian archetype lens or through ancient religious mysteries and ceremonies or through the different depictions of staff god as archaeologists love to call it a figure of god or godess holding two symbolic items with their hands.
Creator/Narrator:Ancient Greek and ancient Egyptian art was further connected in Hellenistic period with hybrid gods like apofis Serapis. Ancient Greek ancient Roman art pushed forward to medieval period and to islamic and Byzantine art. Islamic art is characterized by the depiction of nature motifs and a religious part. Islamic art is about religion as is Byzantine art. The portrayed God and stories from ancient text as well as nature in mosques, in churches and icons. Egypt for instance due to changes occuring in the state has the ancient art celebrating Pharaoh the Christian art of Coptic Christianity and the Muslim characteristics of Islamic religion.
Creator/Narrator:All these pushed forward to other artistic periods to later medieval times: Holy Inquisition and burning of witches in Salem and other places. What should be addressed however is that we didn’t just arrive in dark medieval times and medieval times were not just about sickness war crusades and cruelty. Amidst the tragedies and the apocalypse that was considered to arrive and beautifully depicted by Albrecht Durer there was an effort to make fun of times with the marginalia on scriptorium or create beautifully ornamental letters in manuscripts with flowers or other designs that could be pegi 16.
Creator/Narrator:The renaissance wasn’t all about light as medieval times weren’t all about darkness. Same as ancient Greece that despite the grandeur in the artwork in Parthenon and in other ideas core to Western civilization they were pretty grounded as comedy was not just the antithesis of tragedy but served to highlight the wrongdoings of the era as well as the many tragedies still occuring like the great famine of Athens were Pericles died the Peloponnesian War the campaign to Sicily or the Roman occupation.
Creator/Narrator:The darkness of renaissance was mainly expressed by Caravaggio and Hams Memling. Some notable figures include Leonardo Da Vinci , Michelangelo Rebrandt. A quite notable figure is Raphael and was so notable that there were the Raphaelites and the Pre-Raphaelite artists same as the distinction Plato made the presocratic, socrates and the philsophers after Socrates.
Creator/Narrator:And a notable painter of renaissance was Artemisia Gentileschi that took her own real life pain and made it into art rebelling against a rotten system of the specific era something like the artistic predecessor of Frida Kahlo and the Mexican Revolution. And perhaps in the grand scope of things Artemisia inspired both the artist Frida Kahlo and the intellectual thinker Simon de Beauvoir.
Creator/Narrator:Now before dwelling on the waters of modernity Bauhaus movement dadaism and others just a little tiny fact. Speaking of Plato we should also address the Rene Magritte elephant in the room. Rene Magritte an intellectual artist made a thesis against Plato’s portrayal of perfect society without artists -as he deemed artists not sincere enough saying they portray real stuff in a fake way because the appearance of a table in a painting isn’t as real as a real table etc obviously he didn’t consider other arts like painting or sculpting or woodworking metalworking that go hand in hand in two artworks: Reproduction Interdite (Not to be reproduced) and Trahison des Images (The illusion of images).
Creator/Narrator:Moving on, the celebration of form however comes a full circle till the beginning of surrealism Cubism and geometric art with inclusion of the parenthesis few talk about the Soviet school of art mainly because it was communist and at this time the western world had this cold war till soviet union started crumbling and falling under Gorbachev. The art deco and art nouveau perhaps were the last standing of form versus its deconstructing.
Creator/Narrator: So what is art? I think it’s best to find out own definition because if we only leave the experts do the talking we never search inside and as Carl Jung once said : He who looks outside dreams he who looks inside awakens.
And there they were building mind palaces with combining pieces of artwork of different eras like art deco with statuettes of cycladic civilization or renaissance paintings or frescoes from capella sixtina with Kandinsky artworks and mayakovski poems on the frames of walls careful not to break anything. After some cosmic moments they finished tired yet ecstatic about their finished endeavour.
But was it really finished or was an expert required to make their dream a wonderful reality?