Hi everyone, I’m very new to CoG and have started working on a story and would love feedback and critique.
Cosmic Proportions is the working title for now.
You begin the game as an element inside of a star, bouncing against all of your “neighbors” until you reach the state of becoming an element of iron. Almost instantly, your surroundings collapse around you and your home becomes a supernova. The initial stages of being inside the star are brief, essentially choosing who to bump into or who you are trying to avoid. The real adventure begins once you are blasted free from your “infernal” jailer.
Once you are emancipated, you’re still prohibited from doing too much, as you are traveling at blinding speeds. However, you can move a tiny bit to influence what you want to run into or with what you wish to combine, as that will allow for you to truly push the story-line to new adventures. Though you are an element, you still have the ability to see (a little bit), which effects your choice on how to move. You also have the ability to calculate a turn based off of gravitational force from a heavenly body in your path.
Eventually, you will be given very different choices on directions, which will lead you to either begin life on an asteroid; find another planet that already has life; enter the gravitational pull of another star; find a different landing point; or simply collect more and more “neighbors” to create your own planet.
I will be getting the story ready for testing soon, but before I dive too deeply, I was hoping for feedback.
Thanks so much!
Soooo…this game is starting to take on a life of its own, which is very exciting, however, I am hoping to get a little help. This is my first game for this kind of a platform and I am uncertain as to how far to take this. I could go on for a long while, but I was wondering if anyone had a suggestion as to what the appropriate length of game time should be for a CoG story.
I’m a sucker for any documentary that has to do with the origins of the universe and I recently re-watched the Mike Rowe Narration of How the Universe Works. After that, I just thought of how fun it would be to be an element of iron that causes a supernova!
@davidaberner This sounds vaguely similar to the game I’m working on, called Celestial, although yours starts earlier in the creation process, so I’m interested to see what direction you take this.
I don’t know how long the game is going to be, as I really want to explore a few ideas and possible endings.
@fantom I just read your idea called Celestial and it sounds awesome! Yeah, it will be interesting to see where you and I are similar and are different, as the ideas do resemble each other a little bit
It’s funny that you bring that up, as I got into a debate with one of my friends about the difference between element and molecule. For now, since the beginning of the story is from the perspective of a single element of Iron, I’m going to stick with element. However, I will probably utilize molecule when he combines himself with other elements to make compounds…we’ll see Thanks, though for asking for clarification!
That’s a good question…
There is the possibility I have to change it to atom, if it’s being fused from one element to another inside of a star. If I’m thinking correctly, an element can’t change, as it’s in its purest form, but if it does change due to fusion/fission, the proper term should be atom and not element…is that right?
An element is not an individual singular object or unit of measurement. It’s a concept. Element is the term used to refer to things like iron or oxygen on a general level. Like you and I are both human, but we aren’t a human of me or a human of you. The atom is the smallest measurement of any particular element. Any smaller and it’s no longer recognizable as iron or oxygen or whatever element. Atoms then stick together to form molecules.
Wow, thanks very much for the clarification and to be honest, probably the best description I’ve seen in a while to describe an atom to an element. I will make sure to keep the wording correct for the story.
Obviously, as there is humor in the story, I will keep some things light, but this has been very helpful, and I really appreciate your input. Thanks!
“I just thought of how fun it would be to be an element of iron that causes a supernova”
I love the concept. However from my personal experience, there’s going to be a world of difference between laying out a storyline like this, and patching together a game that has choices that make sense and hold the player’s attention.
You seem to recognize this, saying that the early part will be brief and that Fe – that’s what I’m calling the main character – will have limited options. Even when the star goes supernova and you’re released out into space, however, what will you choose to do beyond just “being” one thing or another? Will you just play the game over and over and over to see what different paths you can take? If you can visualize the game, I’m picturing a single desert stream that runs briefly down the side of a hill then dramatically fans out into dozens of tiny rivulets, none of which go very far. It’s not like iron atoms are sentient.
(Personally, I’d love to see Fe wind up as a tool in some Iron-Age settlement somewhere, thanks to your decision to create an iron-rich planet like, oh, Earth.)
It will be done thanks distracteddad for the suggestion, I’ll be sure to give you credit!
So, the story is two-fold. Even though the perspective of the narration is from the point of view of the Fe atom, the game is meant to give the player the option of choosing what happens to it. It’s proving to be rather difficult, but I am enjoying the challenge.
Essentially, you, as the player, gets to choose what happens to Fe. There are some things that you can do that causes certain events to succeed others, but for the most part, the game is choosing a path and watching what happens to the Fe atom as a result of your actions.
I have a couple of distinct endings so far:
You ultimately become part of creature that notices chucks of iron on the ground of your planet throughout your adventures and can’t help but to feel a connection with them.
You become part of an asteroid that’s bound for planet earth (the one that killed off the dinos)
You get pulled back into another star and realize that you’re caught in a cycle of supernovas.
In the end, I want to have several conclusions.
On a side note, I have to say that using InDesign to keep track of all the possibilities is a god send!
