Finally decided to put my game up for good or ill. Right now it’s just the intro to the game and ends at first larger branch points.
You play as a recently awakened clone on an unknown world. Basically a moderate sci-fi setting with a focus on being a massively branching story, showing how the story can vary from perspective to perspective. The main goal is to make a game where anything is possible; from working as a property caretaker of an abandoned town to being a spy caught in a web of intrigue.
There is bound to be some grammatical issues but most of them have been stomped out. Those that haven’t are the result of me being too anxious to delay putting this up.
All feedback is appreciated as it will help me improve the game, from likes and dislikes to grammatical errors and issues.
Update status: The intro is mostly done but susceptible to minor tweaks. Currently working on adding gameplay content such as various ways to spend and gain money.
just had a short read-through. seems quit interesting.
Though I found some mistakes/bugs:
When you reach the end it loops, and “start” at where you go out of the car
When you are running away and turn left "*goto_scene character_creation " shows up in the text.
When you are waiting for lunch, it says you can "go outside, take a left, right or go straight. " while the choices are outside, east, west and wait for lunch just feels weird when it’s like that. Also similar if you choose west, you get a south north option, which feels weird or strange to me
When you have lunch, I choose eat first, instead of questions. The questions still came up with a lets eat, as the last choice
When I choose to work for the MICA, you have three choices "Name ", “Name” and “Doesn’t matter”. If I choose "Name " (with a space), it behaves like I have a last name, which I choose to not have.
As I said, I think it seems really interesting and most of thoose errors/bugs/inconsistencies/whatever I found on my second playthrough when I was looking for thoose.
Good luck with further writing Looking forward to more
There are some present vs. past tense issues at the beginning of the story. It seems as if you’re keeping in mostly present tense though, so Your vision finally cleared from a gray haze into a clear image of white floor tiles.
Should be “finally clears” Slowly, you made your way to the mirror and looking back at you was a…
“make your way” and “back at you is” All your hair seemed to be…
“hair seems to be” You ask, slightly surprised as you remembered that minutes ago you couldn’t speak a word but now it feels normal.
“as you remember”
Aside from that, it’s really good! The writing style and concept are unique, and the story definitely has a lot of potential! Good luck!
I’ve been writing for over 6 years now and it’s always been in the past tense. When I started it, it felt odd and unnatural. Now I’m getting into it but I still have to go over everything keeping an eye just for those errors.
Thanks for pointing those out for me, seems they slipped by, and thank you for sharing your opinion.
Tabula Rasa is the name of a now defunct MMORPG. I don’t know who owns the IP now, but it might be a good idea to change the name if you ever get to the point of selling it.
