@Omega
Yes, the link does not work. I’ll try to put the first two chapters of the second game as soon as it’s possible. As I said dropbox did not allow to put this link and I do not know why. I’ll try to put it again.
Hi there! Just published one of my books on amazon. If you know russian you can download it for free.
Sorry forgot to put the link to the book.
https://www.amazon.com/x412-x43E-x437-x432-Russian-ebook/dp/B01H5KIESC?ie=UTF8&Version=1&entries=0
Hi there! Had no time to write even a phrase here. I think my english has much improved. What do you think about the text below? Do I have errors still? Could you show me them if you see? The game is finished a long time ago but I can’t publish it because of the grammar errors. Trying to improve it but there’re things that I do not understand. Mostly it concerns the tenses.
Chapter 1. The Keepers of the Sword.
The 24th of September, 1532, the Fifth Era. The world’s end.
*page_break
It seemed the beauty of the space could burn a gaze of gods themselves. It seemed it could burn their eyes and drain their powers, it could destroy their eternal and perpetual might. No one could endure the beauty of the space, no one could even look at it for there were no eyes that could endure an invisible power reigning here. But not you. You saw the most mysterious and ancient space with your eyes and you could endure the reigning power here. You felt no pain but the space that you saw could not be described entirely for its magnificence could be grasped by seeing only.
*page_break
Standing on the strange ground where were thousands of galaxies under your feet full of billions stars, you saw a path ahead that led forward where was dawn: a golden-crystal, azure and silver sun was rising from the unusual ground. However it wasn’t the ground. It was an unknown thing and the sun was brighter than all galaxies of any universe. Its light was unimaginable even for gods.
*page_break
Unwittingly you began going forward. Cold streams of unknown powers pierced you, strange streams stroke and burned you a little. Mysterious mists soared above the invisible ground in front of you and they were thicker than all mists of all worlds of the Universe. They were hot like suns and they hissed like snakes. But you felt no pain from them and only your warm tears rolled down your cheaks from your eyes when you looked at them.
*page_break
Having passed a few meters the mists had suddenly melted and you saw unseen beauty. It was so perfect and so unsurpassed, so fascinating and legendary that its magnificence would shock even the Greatest Darkness itself. Perhaps if it came here it would do nothing for the Power of its beauty cannot be overwhelmed. It was eternal like Eternity itself, it was great like Greatness itself and there were no words that could describe it entirely.
*page_break
You stood on an enormous, endless slope and a slippery and huge road ahead of you abruptly led somewhere down and down for uncountable miles. There was a crystal and transparent, azure and golden sky above you, full of strange and incomprehensible lights. Countless galaxies were slowly rotating in a form of waterfalls there. Instead of waters they were full of flows of billions of green and blue, silver and orange, golden and brown, crystal and violet stars whose shinings would spread even far beyond the borders of the Universe. These galaxies were located outside of this place and the place was illuminated by a small but very bright golden sun whose warm and visible rays pierced the air like water. It was possible to see them like streams of rivers.
*page_break
There lied an endless land far below you and the sky. It was full of marvelous and unknown things. At first you saw huge plants whose size was similiar to sizes of worlds. There were thousands and thousands of huge trees whose shining branches were full of spectral leaves and these trees would overshadow any sun. They shone like stars and their light seemed to be blessed by unimaginable creatures whose powers were greater than powers of gods.
*page_break
Unwittingly you went forward. The supernatural ground began changing under your feet. It was changing and you could see the endless universe with billions of galaxies of green and golden, silver and blue colors. Bright blue stars flashed and devoured a light of silver stars of another galaxy. Unthinkable azure light spread from there to all sides of the infinite Universe and you felt inexpressible feelings. It was hot and you felt water with your legs. It seemed colder than ice. The surface was sleek and soft.
*page_break
You looked under your feet and saw the flashes of the stars whose warm and clear light reached your feet forceing you to feel unknown senses. When you looked around you suddenly realized that you stood near to the hugest trees. It was impossible to see their tops for they were huger than any world and any sun. Wherever you looked you saw their enormous and endless trunks only. If they had roots they were near to the soundless galaxies full of stars. Their green and azure bark was flashing with a silver light and the light was brighter than shine of the Universe. But you felt no pain looking at the light. You stood near to a foundation of one of the trees and you felt destructable and unstoppable, eternal and perfect, burning power that they were emitting.
There were no paths ahead of you. It seemed impossible to pass this unimaginable wood of the hugest trees. What will you do?
*choice
#All is possible here, I’ll pass the wood.
You began to go forward. Instantly you reached the enormous trunk of the tree. When you approached it an invisible power began pulling you inside. You faced the tree’s trunk and lost your breath. Then you lost your other feelings, you couldn’t see, you couldn’t hear, all was in the darkness. Then you could not think, it seemed something devoured your mind. All finished.
*goto_scene ending_chapter1
#I will try to pass it from the left, thus I’ll find the Sword.
You went to the left. It seemed you were going on a water surface. It was fragile and transparent like air. You felt cold. It pierced your feet with invisible knives and you felt pain. In a few instants you suddenly realized you were in front of an unthinkable space. Three enormous galaxies in a shape of waterfalls were ahead. They were alive and streams of green, azure, scarlet, golden, silver, black stars were rushing down like flows of water. Billions and billions of them were rushing down to the countless round galaxies in the endless space, vanishing there and appearing again. It seemed there was no way and you would find the Emptiness only behind them for the darkness was there and no sounds could be heard there. What will you do?
*choice
#I’ll try to touch one of these galaxies, maybe if I touch it something necessary will occur and I’ll find the right path.
You began to go forward again. When you reached these galaxies you touched one of them and felt incomparable warm. Billions of stars surrounded you like drops of water in an endless ocean.
*goto the_hidden_place
#I’ll go through them, I do not believe that there is the Emptiness.
You began going forward to the galaxies. Reaching them you began feeling perfect warm and the shine of those galaxies became brighter. You reached them and saw that billions of golden stars surrounded you.
*goto the_hidden_place
#I’ll go to the right from them, for I think there is the way I’m looking for to find the Sword.
You turned to the right and the galaxies’ dazzling light was from your left. You went forward and your steps were soundless. The enormous trees could be seen from your right. Your way led you ahead to a dim scarlet light. It was alone in the darkness. It shone and its dim light was reflected on the unusual and transparent surface beneath you. When you approached it you suddenly realized that the huge trees and the bright galaxies were far behind you. The endless space was far under your feet and the scarlet light in front of you. It was small and round and you suddenly felt warm from it. You did not know what was that. What do you think to do?
*choice
#I guess that’s something necessary, I will touch it.
You touched it with your hand. You felt warm as if sun’s streams reached you in a peaceful world. Looking at this beautiful and dim scarlet light you suddenly heard strange sounds as if you were somewhere in deeps of an ocean. Then a flash of the scarlet light occurred and you blinked.
*goto The_Hidden_Place
#I will pass it. I think I do not need to touch it.
You tried to pass it. But when you moved a dazzling flash of a blue light occurred. It spread somewhere from the right of you but it quickly spread to all sides of this space.
*goto the_hidden_place
#Maybe I need to turn back.
You tried to turn back. When you turned back you heard strange sounds.
*goto the_hidden_place
#I've got no thoughts about it. I do not know what I have to do.
You did not know what you needed to do. You stood on the same place looking at the same scarlet light and then you began feeling that your mind left you. You did not know what to do and this place took your mind. All finished.
*goto_scene ending_chapter1
#I will go to the left for I guess that’s the right way to the Sword.
You began to move to this direction. You went on a transparent surface and you saw far under your feet thousands of bright galaxies whose light smoothly spread to everywhere.
*goto the_hidden_place
*label The_Hidden_Place
Then, suddenly all before you began changing. You saw how everything flickered and faded, having begun to change. The surface under your feet changed first. The galaxies vanished but a grey and silver, crystal floor, cold and very strange appeared. All was changing without any sound and you saw it, looking around, seeing how immense and silver-grey walls appeared from the right and from the left of you, appearing from nothing, as if from the air. Then you saw a dark ceiling far above the floor, perhaps in a hundred meters above it. And all what you knew about the last space was forgotten for you saw another one space, more mysterious and glorious, ancient and unknown.
*page_break
You were in the hugest and greatest, giant hall whose appearance was far beyond any imagination. Looking at the right you saw far ahead, perhaps in miles from you an immense grey, crystal wall, sparkling with golden and silver stars. It shone with these cold and lonely stars as well as a sky of a world in the night. But you couldn’t see where it ended for you even didn’t see the ceiling of this hall. There were strange, mysterious glows somewhere far above you, varicolored and dim glows as if an unknown light hid there, fearing to be found.
And the same endless wall, full of azure or green, scarlet or silver, dim and bright, huge and small stars towered from the left of you above the strange floor.
*page_break
And far ahead you saw something else. It was unclear to understand it exactly because you were quite far from there but you could examine that there were four enormous and humanoid statues. And that’s it. Having no other choices you were going forward and your paces sharply echoed in this cold and quiet, mysterious and ancient, unknown place. You heard your heart beating, you felt your own breath, you were alone and there was no one and nothing that could help you.
*page_break
Looking around and approaching the unknown statues, you suddenly began to feel that something else was here, something that was watching for you. And suddenly you heard a cold and loud voice from everywhere:
“What are you doing here, creature of unknown world?”
*choice
#Name yourself.
*goto named
#Keep silence.
You kept silence but the voice filled this place again:
*goto keeping_silence
*label keeping_silence
“You can go no further. Name yourself!”
You suddenly realized that you could not move your legs.
*choice
#Name yourself.
*goto named
#Do not name yourself, still keep silence.
*goto still_keeping
*label still_keeping
“I’ll not allow you to go further” - you heard the same voice. - “If you do not want to name yourself then you must to leave this place. Disappear from here!”
You felt an impulse that pushed you back and then you lost your consciousness. All finished.
*goto_scene ending_chapter1
*label named
“I’m ${name}, the First Warrior, the Carrier of the Divine Blood and I’m here to get what is belong to me! The Sword of the Twenty Three Elements!” - you answered.
Silence. At the next second you saw how a green, silver whirl soundlessly appeared before you. You felt its warm streams and then it vanished and instead there was already one unknown humanoid feagure.
*page_break
It was two meters in height at least. It was young and its clothes were flickering and green. It had long and beautiful white hairs and its eyes were blue. There was a long sword on its belt in his cold scabbards and its hilt was slightly shining with a dim and silver light. It seemed there was a man before you. Standing near to him you felt a strange and unknown power.
“So, you are the Carrier of the Divine Blood” - he said, looking at you. - “Then it means this day has come, the Greatest Darkness is coming to fulfill its great plans.”
“Who are you?” - you asked.
“I’m Aravel, one and the last Eternal Entity in the Universe” - he quickly replied you. - “Long ago I helped to Alaars and Alfeuls to find the Elements for the Sword, the mightiest Elements from universes and worlds, realities and spaces. They found me far from this place, when they were looking for the Elements. I learned about their purposes, and about the Greatest Darkness and decided to help. But it is not me who will tell you all that you want to know. I’m here for many thousands years. Come, they will tell you all.”
*page_break
He turned and went forward and his paces were soundless as if he even did not exist. You did not know of whom Aravel spoke. You hurried after him, still seeing the endless walls far from the left and the right.
“The universe in which your world exists” - Aravel told you, leading forward, - “is not alone but as far as I know it’s the main among all the others. There were always powers that resisted the Darkness, the First Evil that once came from places into your universe that I would never think. A space from which the Evil came is unknown for everyone, there are only guesses and even the Ancient Gods and other powerful entities don’t know whence such merciless enemy came to sow the chaos, but I think that Evil came here not just to sow the chaos, but to fulfill its plans, and these plans are unknown to us. However it’s clear, that Evil, the Dark Lords as you call them is older than your universe, older the Ancient Gods and all who try to resist them” - he stopped for awhile and then went on to go, having said: - “They came to your universe as if something finding, something that they couldn’t find somewhere else.”
*page_break
Aravel led you to those four statues that you saw when you appeared here. He stopped and you saw the statues entirely.
They were enormous, about six meters in height. They were stone and symbolized noble and wise, powerful and honorable men but they weren’t men. The statues towered above you, standing in a row. Their stone faces were young, there were no smiles at them and all of them held with their huge hands stone swords full of ancient and unknown letters. Their cold and stone clothes were matchless and made by gods themselves. They were a masterpiece of a maker of the past that vanished forever, having left these four statues as a memory about him. So it seemed when you looked at them. Also all of the four statues had a stone crown: huge and full of ancient letters as well.
*page_break
Suddenly you heard the powerful Aravel’s voice:
“Wake up from your eternal dream! Wake up, lords of the ancient times! Wake up and see the Carrier of the Divine Blood, the hope for a victory in the upcoming War with the mightiest darkness!”
At the next second you saw how all four statues shivered and cracked, some dust fell down from them. Then all their stone cover melted and vanished like a steam, having dissolved in the air. And now there were already huge and matchless creatures before you.
*page_break
They were alive and their pure and bright clothes shone with green and silver, azure light and light, varicolored sparks were falling down from them onto the floor, soundlessly melting. Their hairs were crystal, silver and their eyes were incomparable. Sometimes they seemed colorless, just pupils and nothing more. But then the pupils were changing from time to time, becoming dark-blue (it seemed you could see a star’s shining inside of them) or greenish-red (in this case inside of these pupils you saw strange tides of an unknown light, this light was neither silver, nor black, just it was light with unseen tints), changing and changing to other colors with mysterious lights inside of the pupils. Also their faces now seemed even younger and their gaze was even wiser as if they knew so many secrets regarding life’s existence and about universe and about all that you needed just to ask them and they’ll give you answers about all.
*page_break
Suddenly one of them that was in opposite of you saw you and began to approach you. The floor shivered under its weight, it stepped with its giant legs and you felt how the spac began to tremble, tides of silver light slipped on the endless walls from the right and the left of you and vanished. Then the shiver finished, a silence fell, an enormous creature was before you. It slightly bowed and examined you with its huge eyes full of wisdom.
“So” - it said. - “Has this time come? You are the Carrier of the Divine Blood, the First Warrior? You’re the hope for a victory of all races that fight against the Darkness?”
*choice
#Answer it.
“Yes, it’s me!” - you answered. - “And I have come here to take the Sword of the Twenty Three Elements!”
*goto Answered
#You couldn’t answer looking at it.
“It’s he” - suddenly said Aravel, standing from the left of you.
*goto Answered
*label Answered
The creature slightly went back, the other three looked only at you, keeping silence.
“So, the First Warrior” - said the same creature, - “you have come here to get the Sword of the Twenty Three Elements, the most powerful weapon in the Universe, the weapon that even the Ancient Gods that created it couldn’t use it. We are arthirians from the Arthir world and we are the keepers of the Sword. We’re here for many thousands years and we’re here because our race is such powerful that we can look at any sun and never blink, we can approach any sun and never be burned, we can see through realities and universes, penetrate the space itself with our gaze and see what we want to see. Because of our abilities the Ancient Gods chose us to keep the Sword and we, knowing how it’s necessary to all, agreed. We saw how one of them, Alfeuls sacraficed themselves to give their own power into the race of men, the race on which they could influence. And now I see their plan has fulfilled, you are here and their blood, their perpetual power is in your veins and it means you can take the Sword and use its power entirely.”
*page_break
“We all must to value their sacrafice” - he went on, - “for no one knows how to destroy the Evil forever, the Evil that always returns after it’s destroyed, when millions of free races in the Universe free themselves, free their worlds from its invasion, from its dark powers. I’m talking about the Dark Lords as you know, I’m speaking about them and about somebody that is mightier all of them. Many of Ancient Gods, many of races call it the First Evil. At the last time it was imprisoned and it’s still in its prison, waiting when the Dark Lords free him. You don’t know it but you’ll know, perhaps you’ll face with it in the future for the Dark Lords maybe will succeed and free it. But not now and ancient creatures of Malphur with Dakelnar won’t be free now… they won’t be free if you fight for good, fight against darkness, fight for all universe, saving it and all worlds together with other races from it. Now all of us have a hope, the hope to defeat enemies that once came to universe from unknown dark places. And I’m asking you, the First Warrior, will you lead all free races of the universe to drive the Evil away, to destroy it, to scatter the Darkness itself forever, holding the Sword to which you’ve come here, the Sword whose scorching and the brightest light will clear the entire universe from the filth and darkness, to save all from an inevitable destruction and bring the peace for those who fought, fight and will fight against the Evil?”
“Yes!” - you exclaimed. - “I will lead all free races against the evil to defeat it forever, holding with my hands the Sword of the Twenty Three Elements!”
*page_break
Silence. You saw all four arthirians looked at you as well as Aravel, still standing from the left.
“Then take it” - said the same arthirian.
Suddenly you saw how before you something began to materialize from the air. Flickering but soundlessly you saw how the air in about two meters from you shone with sunlight, warm and pure, bright but not dazzling. Then a bright flash of red light occurred and its waves spread to all sides, having slightly pushed you back with an impulse that you felt with your body. It was the bright, red light but you didn’t squint. When the red light faded you saw it, you saw the weapon to which you were going so many time, you saw the Sword of the Elements, the Sword of the Twenty Three Elements, the most powerful weapon, the weapon that has endless possibilities.
*page_break
You stood before this weapon. It was soaring above the floor. Long and beautiful in matchless scabbards. Its hilt was silver, slightly crystal, slightly black and at the same time azure. Its scabbards were full of light sparks and it was pure and black.
You came closer to it and took it, you took its hilt and an unknown, mighty power penetrated you, penetrated with invisible and hot streams, you could feel and hear your heartbeat but you didn’t cry.
suddenly the Sword seemed to you such heavy that you thought you held a mountain and then you couldn’t feel your arm, looking only at the Sword, seeing strange pulsations inside of itself. When you drew it out you saw its sleek and silver-light, perfect steel, ancient letters of unknown language were graven on it and sometimes pure waves of crystal-silver light slipped on it, slipped brightly, lightening the space with the clearest and the brightest light that it seemed could burn any gaze but not yours, the light that could overshadow the light of stars itself, the light of any sun. And holding this powerful weapon with your hands you felt its hot hilt, you felt mighty pulsations from it, the Sword seemed really heavy. You have gotten it, the Sword was in your hands.
*page_break
“Every Element of Twenty Three is graven on its steel” - said again the same arthirian. - “You’ll know about them, you’ll know their power. We don’t really know what you can do with this Sword but we can assume that in your powers to heal worlds and any life, to fill worlds with the life that are already desecrated and empty or even create something such perfect and glorious that there will be no minds that will be able to realize it.”
Suddenly the space shivered as if an earthquake happened. The endless walls from the right and the left of you began to vibrate and you saw their shiver, illusory stars were slowly fading and with them the light in this space was somewhere vanishing as if darkness devoured it.
*page_break
Then you saw how all four arthirians powerfully took their swords and they flashed with the brightest silver light. It seemed they burned all shadows somewhere in the distance.
“This space is under attack!” - exclaimed the same arthirian that spoke to you. - “The Evil has come! It has taken its impenetrable darkness to spread its hungry shadows to devour the light! The forces of the Dark Lords are invading into worlds! The greatest War has begun! Aravel, take the Carrier of the Divine Blood and return him back to Alfuria!”
Before you could tell something, Aravel had taken you quickly and then all melted before your eyes, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t hear, you saw the darkness only before your eyes and you felt nothing. But then you blinked and felt you fell onto something hard. It was cold, it was really cold here and you felt you laid on snow and there were grey clouds far above you in the sky and it snowed and snowed and cold wind blew. It seemed you returned to the Icy Mountains, to Alfuria. When you got up you saw you stood on a snowy mountain’s slope and thick mists were everywhere and because of it you could see nothing. You squinted because of the wind and the Sword of the Twenty Three Elements was in your hands: you held it and its silver shining healed this space, you saw ancient letters on its steel. You heard the words of the arthirian: the forces of the Dark Lords has begun to invade, the War has begun.
I need a person who knows English as his/her native language. Contact me please directly here to talk about the game’s grammar. I’ll pay you if you help me to finally improve the grammar.