Sunset: a character-driven, pre-apocolyptic WIP


#1

Hi everyone, I’m back with a new and (in my opinion) exciting project.
Sunset is a character driven game set in a pre-apocalyptic world, i.e. the very near future. However the sun is perhaps setting on the care-free, easy-going life of today’s young generation as war is on the horizon, war of a scale and ferocity not seen for nearly a century.

The story starts in present day (nearly) London as you begin your new job at the Home Office (UK interior ministry). You meet a group of people of your age (fresh out of university) and begin to get to know them. Approx. half of the game will take place before the war breaks out, the point being you should only care if a world collapses and people suffer if you have lived in that world and you know the people. There will be less combat that Divided We Fall as I fell like I sort of did infantry combat writing in DWF.

Anyway, I don’t want to say too much other than please try out the first chapter below, any and all feedback is as always not only welcomed but encouraged!

WARNING: Contains quite a lot of v strong language and some quite unpleasant scenes, may offend the easily offended (and btw I am in no way endorsing the behaviour or language of some of the characters) Other than that, enjoy!
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/93073517/Sunset/dfabulich-choicescript-ce4cbfb/web/mygame/index.html


#2

I really enjoyed the demo. <3


#3

looks like a great game so far


#4

I REALLY enjoyed this. The characters are all very interesting and seem real. Can’t wait to see where this goes!


#5

So far I am enjoying myself. I haven’t quite finished reading through it but I did see something that you may like to know.

During the scene where you are confronting the man on the train by using your I.D this happened;

The backslash should be before the “i” , just a simple slip there.

Anyway I will continue reading and see if I see anything else. It is a good read though so far.

Oh… And I rather wear Oxfords than Brogues, but that’s a personal thing Lol.

Edit: Found another one of those italicized code with the backslash put after the “i” when speaking with charlie


#6

Looks awesome. Any idea how long it will be in the end?


#7

Seems like its going to be awesome :smiley:


#8

There are a lot of formatting and grammatical errors. I suggest you clean those up.


#9

What’s a brogue? What’s an Oxford??


#10

“Hey, hey,” Tom interjects, “David was just trying to . Him doesn’t know better, Him’s never had to… deal with him before.”

I think there is an error here with you variable you use for gender pronouns.  It should be "He doesn't know better, he's never..."

#11

Hi all, thanks for the replies, especially for the encouragement from many of you!
@CazzCity thanks for pointing this out, will get it fixed. Ha, maybe I’ll give you the chance to wear some oxfords in a later scene!
@Shawnheatherly thanks, I envisage it as 8 chapters, this is the first so I guess pretty long…
@Crotale could you give a bit more detail re grammatical errors (please)
@KitsuneGoto types of men’s shoes
@markamadeo ah yep, thanks for pointing this out


#12

Ok just finished it. I have to say that it was very fun. I started really well and I thoroughly enjoyed kneeing the perv jaja. I’m not English so I didn’t get all the regional words and I didn’t know anything about those schools, but I definitely look forward to seeing where you go with the game/story.


#13

You really make the world and characters come alive. I’m excited to see where you’re taking it.


#14

enjoyed the game so far ,but do we have any achievements in the game?


#15

Good demo, like it so far, keep up the good work!


#16

Oh, this is fantastic. I laughed out loud at multiple points. I like Cunningham, I hope there’s more of him.

It’s been a really long time since I played a game that was so… English. I forgot how much I liked it.


#17

There’s someone called Clive =D amazing.

I really like it, very very British too, in a good way!

Is Cunningham based after Malcolm Tucker?


#18

@Captaincharisma_Ezhi thanks, there will be achievements, I haven’t put any in yet

@Zanite thank you very much! And well done, 10 points, first one to notice that, Cunningham is definitely inspired by Malcolm Tucker, for those of you who don’t know, he’s a character from the British political comedy The Thick of It and the film In the Loop. I think there’s an American version called Veep but I’ve never seen it


#19

You use instead of sometimes showing things like something something blah blah [i/] rest of the paragraph.

There are things like “Aren’t you going to say hello to Him?” that shouldn’t be capitalized. Some others, I don’t remember them and it would take like 15min to go find them again.


#20

@Crotale thanks mate!