I keep getting a 404 error after they sent you back home going into the next chapter?
Me too
The art is a bit. . .iffy in my opinion, although it could arguably contribute to the mysterious otherworldly tone. The stats screen seems a bit spoilery when accessed towards the beginning, although I can’t quite see how that could be avoided. I’m enjoying the subtle tongue-in-cheekiness of it, I do hope the symbolic blanket pops up again. I do like that that you’ve given us the option to ask questions while still maintaining an aura of mystery about the aliens. Your writing is lovely, as usual, and really helps set the tone.
I would very much like to see more, but I’m afraid when loading the second chapter a 404 error appears. Nice work, I look forward to more.
Thanks, @13ventrm. I really appreciate the feedback. The 404 error is intentional. There’s simply not more written, lol. But thank you.
@Farside @13ventrm
If you want to make the stat screen give away fewer spoilers, you can use *if commands in it. For example:
\*if (abductedbyaliens)
----\*stat_chart
--------text blah
--------percent bleugh
----\*goto statchart2
\*else
----\*gotostatchart2
\*labelstatchart2
\*stat_chart
----text abracadabra
----percent magic@Farside May I suggest that instead of having demo end on a 404 error, you put a temporary *finish command in? Encountering a 404 error, even in a demo, can be annoying and makes it seem like something went wrong when it shouldn’t have. Adding a *finish command will let the player know that the abrupt ending is intentional.
I enjoyed the story so far. It’s an interesting mystery. I liked that I wasn’t forced into asking stupid questions when I already knew the answer and that I could conform quite happily with everything that was going on. I liked how at the start you have a retail job and how for a brief moment I thought that was what the title referred to, since people often treat retail workers as if they were Subhuman. I think it was a clever juxtaposition.
I noticed one spelling mistake. It Should be blearily not bleerily. And that blearily followed by a shakily jumped out at me a bit. While it’s probably just because the typo broke the flow of my reading, I’d suggest that you reword the passage to remove one of the adverbs.
Thank you. I really wasn’t sure how to use if commands in a stat chart, but this is really helpful.
Much better idea.
Thank you for the compliments. And I’ll go back to those adverbs and do some editing.
At the end I got an error message, and it was really late at night, and the coyotes were howling, making a super-creepy experience…
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No post/update in 2 years?
Pretty sure it’s dead, friend. 