This story is currently an idea, a small sprout fighting through the cracks to receive criticism. Of course, compliments are just as welcome - but compliments won’t help the story improve. I first thought of this story last week while making a chart of themes for youtube; a personal dream of mine. I began thinking about Japanese culture, and began thinking about the base aspects of why I loved certain things within that culture.
Samurai are servants, disciplined and ready to combat the threats of their lord head on.
Ninja are similar, but they are not as headstrong in their attempts. In fact, they were so skilled that they could blend into families they were placed in for months or even years before getting their job done. Effortlessly, it seems. These two historical figures began the long list of ideas that popped into my head.
What if there was a world, a Utopia if you will, where people were born in a pair. There was the servant, the samurai, the submissive even - if you will, - whom’ exists to handle the problems of the Lord. The dominant partner, the one who’s life they live. The submissive pair will not have a direct life. They will live through the other, and help them through tough decisions and experiences. Because a person is born with a secondary consciousness, certain things in the world do not exist.
Things such as crime; sure, it exists, but the rate of it is so low that it’s not at all common. For the submissive consciousness - the “sub” conscious - is taught to keep themselves, both selves, free from harm and struggle as much as possible. They know how to prevent most decisions from happening by playing on their other half’s desires or personality. Each pair is unique, each is “perfect”, and because we as humans now have a pair to help us with our lives, each has contributed to the perfect world we know now.
Sympathy exists, and empathy rules, but…we all know Utopia’s are just distorted Dystopia. I won’t give too much away, partially because I’m a writer and partially because it is after all still just an idea. I can promise something will happen, and it has to do with subterfuge.
My questions are as follows:
What do you think would make this idea better?
Should I make this story for adults or for a general audience?
Would you rather this story be from the point of view of the Dominant or Submissive?
Do you think this idea is worth writing a story about, or is it too internal to have a very exciting effect?
I will be linking the rough draft of the first three chapters below here once they are fully edited. Feel free to give your ideas, criticisms, compliments, doughnuts, coffee, and whatever else you feel like sharing.
Side note: I apologize if I put this topic in the wrong area. I originally thought of putting it in General but I thought putting it in WIP - especially when I planned on linking a draft - would make more sense. Please forgive me if I misunderstood the purpose!