Silver Cross Inc

Pretty bare bones. Would be more interesting if each training session had a vignette of specifics of you training with Arthur or whoever, like:

“So, how much do you think you can lift?” Arthur asks.

“I dunno, maybe 150 pounds?” you answer.

Arthur smirks. “Great, we’ll start you with 170!”

“What?!” you yelp.

“Relax, I’ll show you the techniques we use to augment our strength with supernatural abilities.” Arthur slaps you on the back, then pushes open the door, holding it for you. “After you, princess,” he says.

That night you stumble into your new quarters and down two aspirin before you collapse on the small bed. It’s another three hours before the pain in your muscles and joints subsides enough to let you sleep.

By the end of the month, though, you are looking pretty darn cut, and you can press 200 without even breaking a sweat. Your abs have never looked this good.


You could include specifics about the abilities and training where the “…” are. Granted, this is a lot of writing, but it allows you to characterize the player, Arthur or other trainers, the abilities, and Silver Cross, Inc. and is a whole lot more interesting than what you’ve got now.

Yeah I know what you mean. I tried to get the basics of the episode down then I intended to go back and flesh it out with help of early opinions. It may be a lot of writing but is important to bringing the characters and the world to life.

Thanks for the honesty critiques are important :slight_smile:

Okay I’ve reuploaded a revised version of the game.

So far only the first month of physical training will work. But I would like to know what people think of this one before I start the others.

A word of warning at one point the physical instructor calls the MC either a ‘Princess’ if they are male or a ‘Flower’ if they are female. This is meant as a name to try and annoy your character (if anyone can suggest a better name I would be most grateful)

here is an actual link to the game without going onto the website

http://nocturnalstillnesscog.webs.com/Silver%20Cross%20Inc/my%20game/index.html

Implying feminity as a weakness is pretty sexist. Would I at least get to punch the instructor?

I like Princess for male. Maybe Babycakes for female? I dunno… I guess that sounds more like a bad attempt at a pick-up line…? I no good at insults. Might be better to make it Princess regardless of gender. Also, could make it clearer by capitalizing the insult-name and putting a comma before it.

Also: excuuuuse me, Princess.

Seriously though, can we get non-gendered insults?

Why not use Jelly for both? It implies weakness and isn’t gendered.

@scarletgeisha sorry was not intended to be sexist Horacetorys used it in his example and thought it suited the scene . I’d be happy to give you an option to hit/beat up the instructor or I could change that bit as the last thing I want is to offend.

Well, a lot of sexist behaviour is not unintended (because of the world we live in and such) and it’s good you recognise that.

But yeah, there are plenty of insults you can use. Something squishy like putty or a worm or blob.

In all fariness, I think most people would want to hit an asshole instructor :stuck_out_tongue: It’s up to you.

I’m going to keep it like it portray the instructor as sexist and let players either ignore him or deck him :slight_smile:

As long as you make it clear that his behaviour is unacceptable.

I will his behavior isn’t acceptable and the player can show him how wrong he is.

How about “Buttercup”? It is a cup you put butter in. Well, it’s actually several completely unrelated plants, but you can put butter on them. It is also a Powerpuff Girl. Also seems like the instructor is trying to get under the player’s skin - the instructor doesn’t have to be sexist to know that sexist comments tend to be aggravating. And it seems like you are trying to make a somewhat badass organization where the good guys aren’t always moral.

Buttercup also happens to be the toughest one of the Powerpuff Girls.

Also, if someone uses sexist comments, they most certainly are sexist. This thing has layers, like onions and ogres.

I think what peglegpenguin is saying is that someone is saying a comment to get a reaction without being sexist.

For example say you have two people fighting. Fighter A is more skilled/talented than Fighter B. Fighter B knows in against a calm and collected Fighter A they have no chance, so they insult them (either race, gender, parentage etc) in an attempt to get A angry and lose composure so they are (hopefully)more likely to make mistakes.

The initial idea of the princess/flower insult was not to be sexist but to make the player’s character react. However I am going to reword the scene to try and show it better.

I’ve decided to change the game a bit.

It is now called “Unnatural” and it starts differently to the last version.

There isn’t much yet just the first part of the character creation.

Opinions what I’ve got so far would be appreciated.

If you feel the need to insult someone based on race or gender or orientation or whatever, then you are contributing to the discrimination. Doesn’t matter if you intended it or not.

So point being, the instructor is definitely sexist if he feels the need to use those words.

He insults players to get them to work themselves harder physically. Aggravated people pump more iron.

I’m sorry, Geisha, but you do not get to define the English language for everyone else. “Sexist” as applied to a person means actually holding the belief that one sex is superior to the other, because that is what it is understood to mean by practically everyone who speaks the English language. Defining anyone who ever makes a comment that could be interpreted as sexist as being sexist themselves is a uselessly broad definition anyway.

Everyone, including you (Geisha could easily be interpreted as a sexist role, given that their only job is to entertain others, usually men, and combining it with “scarlet” could also give it overtones of prostitution, since Geisha are frequently fetishized in that way, sometimes even by their own culture), could be defined as sexist under that definition. That’s handy for winning arguments, but it doesn’t do much for clear communication.

Which is all moot, because “flower” just isn’t much of an insult to begin with. Particularly when directed at a woman, it comes off more like complimenting good looks than insulting them for fragility. Is there any particular reason “princess” doesn’t work for both of them? It implies being pampered, spoiled, and helpless regardless.

And I put it to you that sexism can come in both overt and subtle forms. Gendered insults have always held the connotation of either “feminity = weakness” or “women speaking out = hysterical” and I think it is pretty clear that it stems from a belief that women are inferior because they are weak. By the definition you have given, that is sexism right there.

And calling a woman a flower in the context of Western culture is an insult (with the exception of the term “wallflower”). Flowers are seen as beautiful and frail. Women are expected to be beautiful and frail. Why is this an insult? Two reasons: It is implying that women are fragile, obviously; It echoes the attitude of valuing women only for their looks. When applied to a male-identifying person, it basically amounts ot calling them women AKA “pretty things that crumbles” in their minds.

Now, is there a reason why “princess” instead of “prince” is always implied to being pampered, spoiled, and helpless?

And I have no idea what you meant to do by picking apart my username. Were you trying to call slut-shame me? I don’t get it. In any case, saying that all geisha do is to entertain men is a very simplifying view on the trade.

Geisha, I can’t escape the feeling that you are being disingenuous in your response, considering that you clearly did not actually read and comprehend the entirety of my post. As an example:

"And I have no idea what you meant to do by picking apart my username. Were you trying to call slut-shame me? I don’t get it. "

“Everyone, including you (Geisha could easily be interpreted as a sexist role, given that their only job is to entertain others, usually men, and combining it with “scarlet” could also give it overtones of prostitution, since Geisha are frequently fetishized in that way, sometimes even by their own culture), could be defined as sexist under [your] definition.”

Please actually read my posts before accusing me of slut-shaming.

Just to be perfectly clear, I will reiterate my point (again).

  1. According to you, anyone who says anything that could be interpreted as being sexist is themselves sexist, regardless of context or motive.

  2. Your own username could be interpreted as a symbol of patriarchal oppression.

  3. Therefore, you are a sexist by your own argument.

  4. Thus, your definition of sexist and sexism is obviously way too broad, because you are clearly not a sexist (or if you are, so is basically everyone else in the history of forever, and “sexist” and “human” are practically interchangeable, making the word “sexist” totally unnecessary cruft to the language).