Hey! Glad to see a new update. I took a quick look through the routes, so here’s my random commentary on all that. Good luck and have fun with the next part!
words about things
Personally, I think the scenario presented justifies only being able to spend time with one person, so I’m fine with not getting to see all paths in one go. It can be frustrating if it’s a case where I feel like the situation should allow me to talk to more people than I can, but I think this example is fine. Of course, if you can find a way to make visiting every character work, then that’s also cool.
I liked all three paths, Arlen’s in particular. I struggle a lot with balancing characterization and exposition with characters that are naturally in a good position to be expositors, and I felt like you struck a good balance with him. That said, I asked Arlen if he would be comfortable answering some personal questions and he seemed okay with that, but then I didn’t get any new personal questions to ask – were there supposed to be?
I like the chapter banners, but I think the quote on the prologue one is pretty off-putting considering this is an interactive fiction game. It makes sense given the character and their situation, but it also kind of opens the game with a message of “Don’t expect your choices to matter in this game about making choices”, if you see what I mean.
Game crashed when I tried to reject the duel with Ezra a second time. Replaying and accepting the duel the first time didn’t cause any problems.
I found several places where I saw the word “his” when it should have been “him.” I assume this is a multireplace error or some such? Here are the ones I caught.
When walking with Nikolas to the library towards the end of ch1, the crushing options say I have a crush on “his”
Later, right at the beginning of Nik’s path, it happened again. “Nikolas beams at you as you follow his out”
Also at the beginning of Arlen’s path. “…only beckoning for you to follow his”
And not the same error, but possibly also a multireplace issue… “he hesitates briefly before continuing”, he should be capitalized.
This isn’t a typo per se, but with the passage “You make to nod, but realize that he can’t hear you…” The first bit sounds odd to me (maybe just “You nod”?), and hear should probably be changed to see – he can hear me, but he can’t see my nod.