Constructive criticism, I take it? The questions aren’t meant to be accusatory, but genuine questions about what’s happening.
The introduction:
-Why is humanity split into clans, as opposed to federations, republics, monarchies, etc.?
-Why is someone from a neutral clan able to be accepted by other clans who are vying for control? How is the clan able to remain neutral (Most powerful, has control of everyone’s money)?
-Mechs are replacing conventional armored vehicles, which begs the question (a) “Why are there so many kinds of mechs if they’re a recent battlefield innovation?”
The, uh, prologue thing:
-Why are rebels attacking in a neutral clan? How and why are they barbaric?
-Why is the first “moral choice” up to me? Isn’t your father responsible for his own household?
To answer your first question the clans are federations, dictatorships, democracies and other governments, basically the clans are “nations”, some more organized than others. I may change this later to be easier to understand.
You’re character is not from a neutral clan, he is from neutral space, a section of space owned by wealthy families, who control a very large amount of money. No clan would dare attack them for fear of the retaliation that would happen. You can join any clan because they are all desperate for soldiers, or in your case pilots, it also helps you come from a rich family.
The large variety of mechs is just from the different factions experimenting with all the new designs, armors, and weapons. Such as when tanks were invented, many designs existed and all were subject to constant revision and battle testing.
As for the rebels they are more like bandits coming to rob the wealthy. They are much like modern day pirates, robbing, killing, and taking hostages.
I didn’t think about that issue until you just brought it to my attention, I will most likely revise that scene to make more sense.
Thanks for your criticism, and I hope I answered all your questions thoroughly.
Yes; thank you for responding so quickly instead of waiting for a week (ha ha).
Perhaps you should replace “clans” with “factions”? Most people will probably think clan=tribe (at least, I did), and faction is a more overarching term to describe what you mean.
That makes a lot of sense; it could also explain why someone is attacking your home in the prologue.
So why are mechs replacing tanks? Are they better in urban/rural combat, are multifunctional (the Swiss Army Knife of armored combat)? Also, are some designs better than others?
If I may be so bold to suggest, in the intro you should focus more on the why than the what: Why are mechs becoming favored combat units? What makes them better?
The audience is already aware about how tanks are used, and they know mechs are awesome and amazing because of popular culture.
Basically, we know mechs are better. We want to know why.
Mechs are able to hold much more weaponry and armor for their speeds. They truly are versatile. You can have tiny mechs traveling at 170MPH with jump jets as well, who can scout the territory for larger mechs. The medium mechs are the most used being moderately fast and some can pack some serious heat. Assault class mechs are the largest mechs available, “If you want a mech that can level a city, but take a week to get there, Assault Class is for you.” - MWO.
Mechs only require one crew member, the pilot, unlike tanks. Mechs are easier to parachute into combat as they’re legs can absorb shock. Mechs are much faster than tanks for the armor the carry. Mechs can also absorb much more damage than tanks. If a tank loses an engine, or even if it’s main body is pierced, it’s done for. While a mech can lose basically everything except the center torso and head, which happen to be the hardest to hit, and most armored. A mech is superior to a tank in almost every way. Also I’m pretty sure I can edit this and add it to the intro.
@Awsome You need to chill with the longer demo stuff you keep posting plz. People post demos this early when they’re excited and need some tangible feedack. Not everyone is going to have a super long demo for you to play, like vendetta. They’ll write at their own pace, just be patient
Yeah but i believe he started with like all of chapter 1 pretty much, and he edited it and finished it up later. My point was if they only have a little, then they’re working on it and posting “more” everywhere doesnt help or speed up work
