Remnants WIP (26 000 words in demo)

Alright, here we go.

First of all, I am NOT the main author or creator of Remnants. That is my partner, Aleph Craven. However, he is also not one much for social media, so I am handling the feedback bit. My role in this is co-creator, coding support, structure, and a hint of additional writing. Don’t worry. This is just a small side project for me; it won’t take any time from FH. This is just my system brain getting a workout.

Some facts:

  • Remnants was born from our shared love of giant robots, and weird esoterica. That’s pretty much all you need to know.

  • It’s rather mature, and there are a bunch of trigger warnings, mostly about depression, intrusive thoughts, and vomiting.

  • Nordic mythology yay! It is set in Sweden.

  • This is going to be a done-in-one story, not a series. The world is being built as we write, so if you have any questions about that, feel free to ask. That way, we will know what you want to know.

  • There is no update schedule because life is life.

  • There will be romance, with three RO’s, but that’s not the focus.

  • You can choose your male/female/nonbinary, but that’s not the focus.

  • You will probably not get a super detailed character description.

  • This is as always, the first draft. Things might change.

The plan is to have the first part of the game setting the stats, and the next part of the game using them. So far, we are in the statsetting part.

Current word count: 26 167 words including code.
Average playthrough: 14 400 words

So what kind of feedback do we want?

Honestly, at this point, just your thoughts if you have any. We have an idea, but we want to see if what we want out there rhymes with how you read it. As always, spelling and grammar are erratic at this point. You know how it is.

Here is the Dashingdon link: Have fun!

151 Likes

Hello Aleph and Malin!
Premiss sounds really good, and though I haven’t read the whole demo yet, it looks really interesting. The narrative reminds me a lot of Fallen Hero, and I love that Aleph and yours writing are alike — it’s obvious you work well together. The “stream of conscience” kind of narrative fits the story, it’s clear what kind of person the MC is from the very start.

Also, I’m a big fan of it being set in Scandinavia with nordic mythology, feel right at home tbh. If I remember correct, there hasn’t been any games set in the north before, except maybe those Viking games, so cheers for that. And giANT ROBOTS OMG

16 Likes

Hello it was really interesting but quite confusing.Good work,!

Haha yeah, I am know. We are still not sure where to do the background info dump. It is coming, I promise.

2 Likes

What’s with the line the companions think they’re my MC ex?

And yes I did choose to date both the companions because come on how could I not when given the opportunity for that kind of drama? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like

Hmm. Because you are exes. We might have to make that clearer then. Thank you!

2 Likes

It’s totally a Evangelion, right? Not something I’ve seen but I know enough, I think, to see the influence. Regardless of that, the background lore feels decidedly anime (in a good way) with all the terminology and kinda unspoken background info and shit. I really enjoy it :slight_smile:
Oh, might as well ask, is the save system gonna be added at some point?

And I guess while I’m here, the first half looked good but towards the end there was a lot of issues with the gender of our companions. Lot of incorrect pronouns (I played with both as women, if it’s useful info)

6 Likes

At the start I was picturing piloting the Jotun was like the old Battletech table top game I played back in the 90’s. By the end I’m pretty sure I was piloting godzilla from inside his stomach. That’s pretty awsome, seriously awsome.

Was a bit disorienting at times. Some of that I’m sure is purposeful but might need a bit more info. I seriously have no idea what any of the stats mean. My young and old selves were basically opposite, is that on purpose? The fighting stats were all in the 700s. Is that good? Bad? No idea.

In short you’ve got an amazing story starting here and I’m desperate to know more.

That’s the interesting and challenge part to a writer :smiling_imp::smiling_imp::smiling_imp:.

This is an odd writing but definitely interesting.

This was so good to read. Hooked me instantly. I’m liking how it switches from past to present often. Although I’m a little confused about why exactly all the pilots are (seemingly) mentally unstable children. Is it simply more effective to use them as pilots? Are they the only people that are able to be pilots?

i am confused but im into it

I’m hooked.

1 Like

Got me at “set in Sweden”. Also I don’t know if I’m just projecting, but I’m getting some Simon Stålenhag vibes.

I want more.

I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would. I watched a lot of Gundum Seed as a kid. Also, Eureka. And others like those. Does remind me of that, so that was cool.

Interesting, so far.

Only thing I do want to say is this: when going back to the childhood segments after being an adult, making that a bit cleaer would be lovely. I didn’t realize that it happened the first few times until a few paragraphs in, and I was confused.

I’ll be happy to reread again later :slight_smile:

1 Like

I’m definitely interested so far! I’ve always loved a good angsty hero/anti-hero adventure! And even if it’s not the focus, romance is a fun addition. I cannot wait to see how this develops!