Thank you. I was really confused why it says her. And the use of third person perspective is great because without reader would be confused.
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It was an interesting demo. Too short for me to give detailed feedback, though I must say I enjoy the species and disability choices. I always had a thing for mute characters, so yeah.
I didn’t spot any mistakes, but English isn’t my language, so it’s easy for me to miss things.
I’ll be waiting for future updates, and I’ll probably write more detailed feedback then.
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Update time!
Hello! Hope everyone’s doing fine. Anyway…I updated!!! The rest of chapter 1 has been implanted along with a stats update and X’s portraits have also been added (I’m not the happiest with them).
I had hoped and even planned to get this update out somewhere in late July, but due to many unwanted and frankly, unpleasant surprises, things didn’t go as well as I had hoped. Writing came to a standstill somewhere in mid-July because someone (glares at a certain ravenette) wasn’t helping me write their scene, along with my friend having to have surgery (she’s okay now!) so I had to put everything off for a while.
Now, regarding future updates. I will try to update at least once a month. The keyword being try because September’s reaching out its claws and unless internet school doesn’t start up again, I’m forced to leave the house.
But, that’s it for now so I hope you all the best and most importantly:
Stay safe! 
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Hi, does the demo end after choosing the character height?
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No, it should not end there. 
Are you perhaps getting a long time loading? If so, it could be either Dashingdon’s problem.
EDIT: My apologies! It seemed that the angel route had not been updated with the correct file (in case you chose the angel descent). It should be fixed now.
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Yup I initially went for the Angel route 
. Okay imma try again, thnx for the fast reply.
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Awesome hopefully everything is all well now and happy for new updates whenever.
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It’s good things are all right now!
I’ll be playing the update soon then, thanks!
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Whenever you’re being escorted from the prison and you’re choosing to go along or retreat back to your cell there should be an option to…Scrabble for their hand to ensure they’ve got you/Beg them to get you out/or some other option that isn’t just accepting the rescue but imploring it… at least in my opinion.
Also I forgot to snag a picture but the introductory page for the angel has a little gaff just before the page break with their gender.
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Thank you for spotting the error. And I’ll think about adding in your suggestions once I open the files up again.
You had me in the prologue
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Nice piece of work so far, it s a great challenge you choose by doing multiple senses deprivation.
Juste a little info:
Someone already told you about the (x_gender) of the angel but there is also:
I choose to be mute and told to my rescuers out loud (since i m being hold and dragged by hand) about two guards coming.
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Thank you for that! Will fix it along with the other things in the morning.
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This is absolutely amazing!! I’m highly intrigued and I can’t wait for further updates on the Demo and the final game itself!
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This might be a bit to nit picky so apologies in advance but playing as a mute mc im not sure if it should be “voice your command”.
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Interesting WIP! The disability of losing one of your senses is very unique and is what intrigued me the most. I see a ton of potential there! I can’t even fathom how difficult it will be to write your story differently with the lost sense the reader choose. I went with my MC being blind, but there were a few paragraphs in the story that had my MC looking or describing things they see. Example is like the helicopter scene where the MC was looking and pointing things out inside the helicopter. I hate to admit it (and very sorry to),but I lost a bit of immersion when I read over these paragraphs and I said to myself “My MC is is blind! She is not supposed to see things except souls!”
Again, sorry for nick picking things. However, I do believe that if you can write each lost sense path in your story correctly and accordingly to the lost sense the reader chose, your WIP would be VERY unique because it would change the perspective/point of view of the story and MC to the readers. By doing this, each lost sense the reader chooses would be different from one another, encourage many replays allowing us to enjoy your game further, and make us want to read instead of just bum rushing through to choices on replays. Your writing and story would have a lot more impact on readers like this. Of course, this would be long and difficult to accomplish, but if you can pull it off, it would be amazing! All of this is my opinion, so write and do as you want and please! I’m just offering my thoughts. Best of luck!!!
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Thank you for expressing your opinion, I really appreciate it! I understand that such things can throw someone off the tracks and I’m trying to be careful with such scenes. I admit it is sometimes harder than I’d like to show and sometimes it gets the better of me. I will go through stuff from the beginning at some point and try to correct many things.
I don’t envy you. Trying to make prose work for every single disability sounds like a nightmare. If you gotta remove a few options for the sake of your own sanity, I don’t think anyone would blame you.
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Hi, I really like the demo!! I’ve always wanted to be able to play a deaf character although I myself am not deaf, but just some things I noticed when I played through the demo yesterday, with the deaf route:
- I think when they’re talking to Prentiss just mentioning that she’s using sign language would help it to be more immersive, or maybe just using italics for the dialogue to signify that? Because although I chose deaf there isn’t a lot of indication of that further on
- I feel like a lot of Aare’s dialogue would be missed, like when he’s behind the mc before taking them to the shower, or when he shoves them in the cell beforehand
- xin is looking at the demon’s back when he says “take care of them” so I don’t think the mc would be able to lip read that
- I think the dragi also turns away before speaking, and then I think the Dylan does too
- the mc mentions Faustiano being completely quiet which felt a little odd, and then after he coughs to get the mc’s attention, maybe he should wave or something? idk
Not to say I think you need to modify these situations to make sure the mc understands everything being said, but on the contrary I think having them not always knowing what people are saying would be good, ex I don’t need to know Xin says “take them out” to figure out why the guards are subsequently dead, it can just be mentioned that he says something to the demon
but again I am not deaf, I’ve just read a lot of deaf characters and these are small things that I noticed
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