Well i’m here to lift you up. I like your stuff
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Oh yeah I’ve watched that before. Not caught up on the new season though
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Nah not touchy. Just calling out something as plain as a rude comment. But go off lol. I think a lot of yall are honestly missing the point and not reading my comments. Everyone else EXCEPT that one guy who said AI slop is fine. He was the only problem. So no you may not have to support or uplift but comments like these are honestly a waste of time.
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I enjoyed the WiP, it’s nice to be able to play a monster again. The last Monster WiP had pretty lackluster writing, unfortunately, and seems to be dropped. But please, don’t use AI anymore. Don’t try to fool us. I did not want to believe this is AI, but it is. I know we’re not supposed to throw around accusations, and let’s be real, AI isn’t the worst thing in the world. I just want some genuine writing, and I believe you probably can write like that. You have to understand that AI has only one writing style, and it doesn’t really change. That’s why I was able to know. It’s not the em dashes, as you can actually get rid of that by explicitly asking it to avoid using them (for Claude), its just the writing, and the constant use of negative framing, and vague hyperboles.
I once made the mistake of writing AI stories in another platform, but once I started writing for real, it was a hundred fold more fun. Try it. We won’t care if you have grammar mistakes, that’s part of the process.
And if you really didn’t use AI, I’m sorry if that’s really the case. I’m just so frustrated it’s getting to my head.
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Exactly, I personally have used Claude for my YouTube so that’s why it felt familiar. Also as you said nothing’s wrong with using Ai as long as you don’t take the whole thing from there. It’s good for assistant.
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There has been some talk about AI usage which I just deleted, but I want to quickly remind everyone that this is not the appropriate place for it. If you have evidence of AI usage, the appropriate place to send it is to support AT choiceofgames DOT com, NOT discussing it here.
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I don’t even know what a Claude is. But I appreciate the knowledge.
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Evolution is fascinating, and I’d like to share some personal thoughts just for your reference - your ideas and setup are really interesting.
Won’t each chapter be a bit too short? Personally, I feel like chapters 1-5 and 6-10 could be combined into one - covering the period from before evolution to when selection started - that way it would feel more cohesive.
But it’s just an suggestion, don’t feel pressured. Your work is really interesting, keep going! Looking forward to more!
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Also. I have two voices. A polished one and a raw one. I never write final drafts with my raw one. Wanna see the difference?
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Polished VOICE:
“Absorption,” says the voice. “That is your gift. Everything you consume, you learn from. Everything you learn, you become. In time, you will replicate the properties of anything you absorb.”
Raw VOICE:
“Absorption,” the voice says, like it’s reading off a menu. “You eat something, you learn from it. Eat enough, you become it.”
You just ate a beetle. A dead beetle. And the voice is out here acting like that’s a flex.
“Everyone starts somewhere,” it adds, and you can’t tell if it’s being encouraging or if it’s laughing at you.
Which version are you more inclined to read?
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Personally I like the raw voice better, feels less… distant (?) in lack of a better term?
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Also for clarification, that’s also my polished writing vs my raw, rough draft writing. I just always feel like I have to polish everything up to be better but if the second one feels more real then I can definitely just write that way.
I’m of the opinion the tone should fit the characters and mood of a situation. At least that’s what I’m trying in my writing: Be more polished and sombre in serious situations or when a scene needs gravitas, and by a little more lackadaisical and tongue-in-cheek when not.
But ultimately you ought to use the style and tone you ferl is right for the story
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I think your raw voice is great as it is. In the example you gave us, it showed a lot of insight into the two characters in the interaction. The way the voice is speaking like ‘reading from a menu’ suggests a lack of sincere interest, almost giving it a bored tone in my mind, and the MC’s response shows their disbelief at the situation and how the voice is treating it, while following up with how the MC is unable to get a read on the voice and its intentions. The little details like that really help me connect as a reader to the characters, showing the relationship between the MC and the voice, and how they react to each other, in a way that I couldn’t pick up on the the polished version of the same event.
As the author it is your choice how to write your story, but I will say it was fun to read that small snippet of your raw voice.
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I truly appreciate it! I e always thought the way I write sounded just not up to par. So I appreciate you guys insight!
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Hi, I’ve removed some off topic posts.
This is a moderator reminder to focus on the WIP rather than arguing with other forum users. There’s no need to call people out. Please remind yourself of the forum guidelines and flag posts you think are breaking rules rather than derailing WIP threads.
Thank you.
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By all means, there is no ‘on par’ as long as the tone flows well. To go very slightly off-topic, but I’ve seen a number of authors that stumble over that, thinking their voice has to be aloof and refined. It doesn’t have to, and all too often it can come across as, well, aloof and talking-down to the reader. And in the worst cases it’s a mix of ‘talking down’ while acting as if the narrator is totally buddy-buddies with MC, bordering on gross and mildly abusive even at times.
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Right, the voice should match the story and the impression you’re aiming for.
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Ngl i enjoyed to have a read and i hope it’ll be continued. It reminds me about certain anime and manga about the certain slime which isn’t bad at all (Somewhat feels even more interesting especially since i personally picked dragon)
I do feel like chapters are a bit odd as if they are to common but then again it’s just perhaps preference of Author it doesn’t impact me in negative way that much.
Hopefully we’ll be able to take on humanoid (not human at least not fully unless you are slime that is) form since there is nothing more interesting then such ability.
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I uploaded to chapter 7 and updated in my raw voice
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