Reflections Beta Testers Wanted


#1

Hi folks, finished up a Choicescript game and I’m looking for beta testing if anyone is interested. The game should be complete and functional with, hopefully, only cosmetic changes needed at this point. Feel free to let me know if you see things that need more extensive work, though.

Also, Reflections does share a setting with my books, but it’s meant to be accessible to people who haven’t read them as well. If something isn’t explained well enough let me know and I can fix it.

Edit: Due to similarities with another game this project will not be published. Thank you to everyone who provided feedback.


#2

I’m getting an address is invalid error when trying to open the link.


#3

Weird, I got an option to download the game instead of playing it, but that worked.


#4

Hi, try to replace “www” by “dl” and add “usercontent” right after “dropbox” :wink:


#5

@emrys I took the liberty of changing your link to a direct one, since most people don’t like having to download something in order to be able to play the beta of a game.


#6

I haven’t gone that far in yet, but the beginning seems a lot like the Choice Of Deathless one. Where you perhaps inspired by it?


#7
Wow, what does it take to stay in one's court, I've played multiple times so

far and no luck.

When finding the old woman trapped in her house, why not just confront the
doppelganger right there, instead of killing her or taking her with us?

Why not an option to reveal what you got out of your friend if you can talk them
into spilling the beans? The MC would get credit, and their friend could live.

Why not an option to help your friend escape after you get them to reveal the
secret entrance?

Keeping the notes didn't really seem to go anywhere, storywise.

#8

@emrys First of all, while the story itself is vastly different in the details several major plot-points seem to be exact copies of Choice of the Deathless. It even feels like the whole story might have been built around the same code, but I’d have to take a peek at that directly to know for sure. I don’t know about the company’s policy regarding the matter, but I feel that if it is indeed built on that that the author of the original should at the very least be given some credit for that.

And now on to the actual feedback.

I very much dislike the way in which you specify in people of which gender your MC is interested in. Can’t that be handled in a way that doesn’t imply they’re pretty much directly jumping into bed with random people? Maybe hinting at previous relationships of a more serious kind, or something?

The Midnight soldiers scramble over it, trying to put the fire out, and succeeding only in setting themselves on aflame.
Either on fire or aflame.

You expect to have to fight your way there, but the route Glass plotted for you gets you to your destination without your seeing a single Midnight soldier.
The first half of the sentence is in present tense, and the second half in the past tense. Change expect to expected. you

As the minutes drag by without your seeing anyone else in the field, you start to wonder whether this assignment is just a pretext.
you

His is even and brisk, with a marked British accent.
His what? Voice? Tone?

And then, finally, it comes to Aoife. “” Her voice is perfectly even and terribly remote.
I get the feeling that whatever Aoife is supposed to be saying here is missing.


#9

Hello, I don’t know if this is allowed here but can you please drop some hints on how to unlock all the other choices at the end? I’ve played the game for almost nine times and I only got the wolfs to rescue me. Each time I played, I made sure to choose and explore the other choices. Thanks, Author. Great game by the way :slight_smile:


#10

I have to echo what a few others have said. This reminded me instantly, and often of Choice of the Deathless. To the point that I thought it was the same author deliberately telling a new story with the same format.

I liked the backdrop of the grim unending war between the fae. I would have enjoyed more about it too I think.

I also liked some of the side characters Glass, Charlie, and Bismuth leap to mind, but I think their relationship with the MC could have been developed a little more to make me care more about them, and the MC at the same time.

Sorry if this isn’t the kind of feedback you’re looking for. I found a few typos too, but screen shots are a pain on my phone I’ll read it again tomorrow morning and post any that I find.


#11

Going off on what @Cecilia_Rosewood said, I just have to add that the structure of the game seems almost identical to Choice of the Deathless which made me feel the whole time like ‘wait, haven’t I played this before?’ I’m afraid it was hard to concentrate on much else with that feeling lingering but the writing is good, just some typos as there always are.


#12

Opps wrong post sorry stupid phone.


#13

Thank you. This was entirely an error on my part and I appreciate your help with it.[quote=“stsword, post:7, topic:17449, full:true”]
Wow, what does it take to stay in one’s court, I’ve played multiple times so

far and no luck.

When finding the old woman trapped in her house, why not just confront thedoppelganger right there, instead of killing her or taking her with us?

Why not an option to reveal what you got out of your friend if you can talk theminto spilling the beans? The MC would get credit, and their friend could live.

Why not an option to help your friend escape after you get them to reveal the secret entrance?

Keeping the notes didn’t really seem to go anywhere, storywise.
[/quote]

The option to stay with your court at the end is based on them approving of you and wanting to keep you on as an employee. That’s mostly affected by being effective at serving their interests and following orders.

The option to let your friend live by explaining what you did doesn’t make much sense to me. They might know other useful information and, all else aside, they’re still part of the enemy court. I’m not seeing much of a reason for your side to let them go. The other choices here could probably be worked in fairly simply.[quote=“Cecilia_Rosewood, post:8, topic:17449”]
First of all, while the story itself is vastly different in the details several major plot-points seem to be exact copies of Choice of the Deathless. It even feels like the whole story might have been built around the same code, but I’d have to take a peek at that directly to know for sure. I don’t know about the company’s policy regarding the matter, but I feel that if it is indeed built on that that the author of the original should at the very least be given some credit for that.
[/quote]

Choice of the Deathless was a game that I thought effectively got at a similar aesthetic to what I wanted to do, and I used some of the story elements that I thought made that game work. The game code wasn’t used, except in the sense that I looked at the code samples which are available for several games in order to get a sense of how to use the scripting language to do what I wanted. No code was copied directly from any game. I would be happy to give credit to all of the authors whose code I used as a reference while learning how the language functioned.

Your issue with the orientation selection is easily fixed and now that I look at it does seem poorly handled. The other errors are easily fixed. Thanks for pointing them out.[quote=“Jesse, post:9, topic:17449”]
Hello, I don’t know if this is allowed here but can you please drop some hints on how to unlock all the other choices at the end? I’ve played the game for almost nine times and I only got the wolfs to rescue me. Each time I played, I made sure to choose and explore the other choices.
[/quote]

The ending in which you stay with your court is based on being an effective soldier, following orders, and generally doing your job. The ending in which you transfer to the other court is based on them seeing you positively and being willing to regard you as a professional rather than personal enemy; this is generally influenced by being merciful when the option is presented. This ending also requires that in the second research section, when you’re assigned to protect Miles from the other court, you work to undermine his research instead. It sounds like you’re getting the werewolf ending already, but for the sake of completeness that one is mostly based on taking the opportunity to help them when possible. The concerned citizens ending is probably the least intuitive to get and is based largely on presenting yourself well in public and undermining Miles when possible.

Okay, so the parallels to Choice of the Deathless are obviously excessive at this point. If they’re getting in the way of people seeing this as its own work then that’s definitely a problem. I don’t see how I could really strip off the resemblance entirely; the games are telling stories that involve similar themes, and I couldn’t really change that without rewriting Reflections almost from scratch. That said, are there specific things people are finding too similar which I could change without that kind of ground-up rewrite?


#14
  • A reason for your court to keep your friend alive? Ransom, hostage exchange, actual
    tangible benefits rather than the possibility that the tortured person won’t just spew crap,
    since there is a reason that torture is considered all but useless for information extraction.

    Or you know, a tricksy PC could pull a reason out of thin air, since
    that’s the point of being deceptive. :slight_smile:

As for feeling similar to Deathless, the major things are the "let's start 

the game at the end fighting an invincible opponent and then work our way back" and “our friends ride to our rescue at the end.”

 The second would require some reworking, but I would think the beginning 

could be altered without too much work. For example, how about having the beginning be the PC
blacking out after fighting the Queen’s champion, as it is getting pwned by the Champion is rather
anticlimatic anyway.


#15

Oh that’s was awesome loved I really did


#16

@emrys thanks for clearing that up!!!


#18

Aw, man. I’m still playing through this and I’ll try and get you some feedback soon, but I just had to take a pause and let you know that I absolutely adore Charlie. He’s won my heart, he has. I’m a sucker for werewolves, and then he went and came to me for help when he had no one else to turn to. How could I not agree to help him and smooch him? :persevere:


#19

Ok, firstly I’d have to say I did really enjoy this. Any critisism and comments are what I’d do for any beta test so no offense intended. It kind of reminded me of a cross between the deathless, dresden files and general mythology. I’m going to agree that the very beginning in particular is very similar to deathless. Although the story stands on its own (yes some of the plots are similar but still different enough in most places) the opening and closing sequences and the mirror pieces concept did very strongly remind me of the deathless story. Could it be tweaked slightly? Different imagery for the mirror pieces (which is important to the story I see) and maybe some different choices at the beginning as well. Also could possibly drop the repayments for your tuition which features quite prominently in deathless but doesn’t go anywhere in this story despite the repeated options to pay off the loan. (That I saw anyway). To be honest, failing in your job with the courts seem to have much more dire consequences, the academy is barely mentioned at all except in the start and end. Using your funds to get better equipment and paying just enough to keep the academy off your back would seem to be the way to go, but I couldn’t see any benefit or disadvantage in doing this. Anyway I can see this is your own work with some inspiration coming from COTD but to avoid comparisons a few changes could probably deal with it.

Onto some more comments and bugs :slight_smile:

So you kill it. It isn’t terribly difficult; the strange, odd-looking thing is strong, and those claws aren’t just for show, but it isn’t nearly as quick or clever as you.

That accomplished, you wipe away the circle. Then, just for completeness’s sake, you torch the entire meadow. You feel a little guilt at the scale of the destruction, but that’s the nice thing about working for the army. You can pretty much set fire to anything you want, and everybody’s too scared to tell you off for it.

*This seemed to brief and easy to me. You’ve got some sort of ritual to bring something obviously important to your enemy over but you “just kill it” with no explanation or difficulty.


The walls need repaired. There’s not much room for debate on that point. So you set your people to fixing them, repairing the damage done in the previous day’s attack. It isn’t great, but the defenses are a lot more solid than they were before you started. Now if you can just manage to hold them, you might be in business.

*repairing


Why would the daylight court be getting unofficially involved with werewolves? Or is it their champion who would be getting involved without permission? Are they being compensated somehow? Or is it personal interest since there might be other species involved? He also indicates you’ll be compensated for co-operating but I haven’t seen any evidence of that yet (quite the opposite).


Suddenly a goblin runs up to you and salutes, panting. “Firethorn sent me,” he gasps. “The enemy tunneled under the fortress. A group just came up under our position, and he’s not sure how long we’re going to last.” The goblin collapses, exhausted.

*Curious to what a goblin is doing in the daylight court? (I would have thought they’d be midnight?)


It’d be nice to know how much is remaining on your debt and how much spare cash you have. (It keeps asking you how much you want to pay but the choices don’t seem to matter much?) ie you don’t get extra gear for not paying it straight away or get benefits from reducing the debt early?


That does seem strange. You know werewolves have some odd abilities, sure, and it’s not like you’ve researched exactly what those abilities might be. But you’re fairly sure they don’t extend to sending messages between worlds, even leaving aside the question of how $[charlie_he} knew where to send it.

*code


“Exactly,” Charlie says. "There aren’t very many of them, and normally I’d feel okay about taking them on, but these people are specialists. They’re good at what they do.

*To me they didn’t seem good at what they’re doing from the example in the park. They had the advantage of numbers and weapons but jut rushed him allowing him to run away and didn’t seem particularly disappointed he escaped?


You remind yourself to bring some back with you to the Courts; they don’t keep any of the stuff on hand, since their metabolisms are too inhuman to respond to the stimulant.
*I like the little bits like this dropped in to remind the reader that even with their position, the MC is still something a bit different, not quite of either world and of both.


The meeting’s supposed to take place at a small tavern on the outskirts of town. There don’t seem to be any employees or patrons there as you approach, which you suppose makes sense. This isn’t the sort of meeting that you want to turn into a public spectacle, after all.
*There doesn’t


And, astonishingly enough, it works. The two of you proceed into the tavern, where three werewolf hunters are waiting for you at one of the tables. There are a few tense moments trying to get Charlie to sit peacefully with so many armed enemies nearby, but in the end you sort it all out.

*Not sure you could simply “sort it all out” so easily IMO. You’ve got two very hostile groups, one of which is pretty intent on killing the other at the moment and they both know it. Maybe something more like “…in the end you convince him to stay. The tension in the air is palpable and Charlie looks as if he might get up and run/reach for a weapon at any moment.”


Then the older one, who you realize must be the leader of this group, pulls out a knife and cuts the younger man’s throat. He says something you can’t understand, and the werewolf hunters start to file out of the tavern.

*Maybe a bit more description here to amplify how ruthless the hunter group is? It just seems a little flat for something that brutal. (ie Then the older one, who you realize must be the leader of this group, pulls out a knife and cuts the younger man’s throat in one swift movement. He says something you can’t understand as he lets the lifeless body drop to the floor in a growing pool of blood. With barely a glance at their former comrade, the werewolf hunters file out of the tavern. - or something like that)


Why would they choose you to protect the magician after you failed the first time? Maybe give a reason for this apart from the location (as they would have more than just yourself from the academy). Perhaps have the magician request you? He could have alterior motives for wanting you there in revenge for failing last time, or some other reason? (It’s not a big thing, I just couldn’t understand why they’d choose you again and the magician would be happy about it).


“Well enough,” she says. “Better than you do, probably. I know enough to know that this probably won’t end well. I’ve been trying to keep it from coming to this, but it seems I’ve failed. Good luck dealing with the consequences.”

*I’m surprised she’s not a bit more helpful after offering help at the conference. She seems to be keeping you in the dark, without a word of advice, even though it’s in her interests to stop the person you’re protecting, which you’ve shown yourself willing to do before. Instead it’s more of a “good luck cleaning up the consequences of something I know lots about but you know nothing about. Bye.”


You don’t have the chance to recover much. The mage is next to you, and he doesn’t seem to be feeling the aftereffects of the trip at all. He strides briskly past you, and you force yourself into motion behind him, stumbling a little until you hit your stride again.

  • after effects

“I have my Court.”
“I have the Midnight Court. They won’t be happy about this.”
“I have an army of werewolves that don’t like being used as test subjects.”
“I have a few of your colleagues who really don’t approve of what you’re doing here.”
“I have friends.”

*Are all these options meant to be blanked out? I’m guessing it would be on purpose given you’ve just been asked who you really are but I would have thought I would have at least had the werewolves (Shut down lab, helped charlie, helped the werewolves instead of returning in the first instance) and colleagues (Was given a card saying they’d help) given my choices. Possibly the midnight court (helped them get into the magician’s lab and helped the half banchee escape) and my own court as well unless the queen was in on the whole thing before hand which seems unlikely given how Mile’s talks about it and her reaction after the battle. (approached by the queen at the dinner, working for the daylight army etc).


Why were you suddenly able to channel that much daylight power? A consequence of the balance being disrupted by miles? Or something else?


Why does the Queen’s champion try to speak in your defense for staying (not that it helps much) since it sounds like you’d be getting his job? Where would he go- sounds like that’s a high ranking position he holds. Also bringing up that you helped him in the unofficial assignment isn’t exactly helpful since you defied direct orders to stay and help I would have thought.

Edit- just saw the note about the endings. Still not sure why I didn’t get the werewolves (I thought I helped them out whenever possible) and the citizens available (thought I had a good personal presence (ie presented well at the conference etc) and did get an offer of help from her). If other people are getting those endings though may be something I’ve missed.

Also just a thought, but might be good to flag the werewolf investigation as only having time to do a few things before you have to stop. (ie you will only have time to investigate a few options before dark or something like that). I was thinking I could continue to investigate for a while but suddenly got cut off. I probably would have considered by choices more if I had have realised this.


#20

Not the author, Jacic, but didn’t you succeed in disrupting the ritual, so why would you expect the
result of a failed ritual to be all that impressive?

As for a goblin in the daylight court, considering the MC can get offers

from both courts despite their heritage, the courts obviously have equal opportunity hiring
policies.

And you aren't being offered the position of Queen's champion, 

you’re being offered your boss’s job because he’s being promoted.


#21

Not the author, Jacic, but didn’t you succeed in disrupting the ritual, so why would you expect the
result of a failed ritual to be all that impressive?

I thought it had been pretty well summoned? It seems like it was corporal enough that you could go in and kill it (and be worried about it’s claws).

from both courts despite their heritage, the courts obviously have equal opportunity hiring
policies.

I guess. I thought it was biased given they wouldn’t hire your friend given she was 1/2 banchee and the comment was made it was because she belonged more to the dark court (or something to that effect) but you’re right they could still be around.

you’re being offered your boss’s job because he’s being promoted.

To what? I would have thought her champion would have been one of the highest ranks you could hope for in the court? I could be getting my stories mixed up but often the champion of the sidhe queens was considered to be about as high as a mortal/half mortal could rise in the courts and they had more influence than even many of the nobles etc.