Hello Everyone. I am a writer/game designer from Brazil who just started. This is my first game and I hope you guys enjoy it. Any issues or problems with the game please tell me and I will correct it ASAP.

From the Game’s Introduction:

Twenty-three years after the Infection Day, the civilization had to reinvent itself to survive: While the old states and cities were decimated by the hordes of Infected new fortified cities have risen from old refuges and armed forces bases. Among them one gigantic city-state arose, creating an Infection-free area to the rich and wealthy of the society (NorthEden), while minor citites must struggle everyday to survive.

In order to maintain the structure of both NorthEden and the smaller cities and preserve the contact between them, it was established the service of Raptors, mercenary groups that act under contracts. A basic Raptor team is made of one Commander for the order and navigation of the group; one Sniper, who looks for the group’s defences; one Medic, who check the health and provisions of the team; and one Enginner, responsible for the equipments’ maintenance. Each city
indicates a Captain, one Commander whose excellence on service is acknowledged, to be in charge of organizing the Raptors service locally and to be responsible for the most profitable (and dangerous) contracts.

The Infected, however, have shown themselves as an even bigger threat in recent times. Not only the disease has been transmitted to wild animals, the coordinated attacks leave no doubts: someone or something is controlling them. Recent news appear of cities being destroyed by their attacks. More than never, the civilization is under risk. And the Raptors are a fundamental part in its protection, regardless of how dangerous the roads may be.

The people don’t need heroes. They need professionals. They need RAPTORS! Take command of your group and face monsters and madness to finish a contract.

To play it please go to:

Update 06/12/18

As promised, we bring with this update new features and corrections for the game:

  • New Combat Mode: Now the player can choose between Classic Mode (the original mode) and the Advanced Mode (with new strategy elements);
  • Inventory system updated to support the new Combat Mode;
  • Some dialogues were rewritten for more options;

As always, BE A RAPTOR!!!


First. Yes this does matter.

I get the feeling that this is like a Tabletop RPG? which I have no experience of.

Other than that, this has a lot of potentials. A bit of typos here and there, but all in all. IT’S DAMN GOOD.

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Thanks!!! I appreciate it!

Yes , it has some influence from tabletop RPGs. Did you get any issues with the programming? Was everything working fine?

The programming works fine, which I envy you for your patience.

I’m not sure if I’m the right dude to give you ways to improve this, like I said—I don’t have tabletop experience.

Dude, I appreciate any feedback I can get. Specially yours as the first one.

your game work fine…though I admit lol I cant give feedback beyond that .

the pictures ? did you do them yourself ? very nice art .

Homewhever , this game way to tell the story…

  • the roll dice . we all played D&D and such lol but it’s done automaticly . Honestly , if you wanna go this route…(and it will probably require more coding) , but just an idea…why not let peoples roll their own dice ? :stuck_out_tongue: and enter the number they got ? though I admit…I dont know how you would calculate vs AI…but…its an idea .

also the issue with that ? it really take away any choice . There is No ‘run away’ and ‘I don’t wanna fight’ .

I also haven’t seen any gender choice…

and the way the story is made…I dont even know who is my character .

So this game is not for me . I wish you luck though with your game .


Oh, I forgot. Dialogue Options. I think that’s what it lacks.

Alright, so I like the idea behind the story a lot. It has soild potential for a story, but this is defiantly a game, and as a matter of opinion and uninteresting one. The game feels too impersonal, really disconnected from the player. If your aiming for a game I would suggest adding in some more player choice in the combat and just in general. If you want this to be a story or at the least a combo of the two you need too make the main character into a pov perspective, and add a little customization. Then again this is your own work, you do what you feel best and take my suggestions with a grain of salt as I’m just a guy with far to much time on my hands who reads to many of these. :grinning:


I have just read the beginning btw, but here are my opinions so far.
I think is that the MC seems original, and that the artwork is really cool. It is interesting that you use 3rd person PoV.

I would like some way to influence combat. Dying because of bad rolls can really suck, compared to dying because of choices. Perhaps an option to choose where to aim could be implemented. Something like “aim for the head/legs/wheels/engine”?

I generally think the rolling mechanic is interesting, but it shouldn’t compensate too much for choices. In my opinion, dice determine too much of the game. I would suggest using fixed start values for Captain’s energy and ability points. Then, I won’t have to start the game over several times to get optimized starting stats.

i havent played the demo im going to do it now but is it just me or does the girl with blonde hair in the top right corner of the cover look alot like angelina jolie?

Your suggestion got me thinking here. Is it something like the old “fallout” games?

I can take a look about that later on.

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This was an excellent story/game ( even though I died a few times, okay a lot ). You did really well and I enjoyed it. I hope you create more like this.

I really can’t say I know much about those.

Hmm, the mechanics might have a lot going under the hood but from the player’s side it’s … pretty unsatisfying. You make zero choices during the fight. It’s 100% random. You just have to sit there and keep rolling dice until either your dice are better or your opponent’s dice are better.

It doesn’t really function as a game yet. If you get a good result on the RNG you can keep reading the story. It doesn’t quite take advantage of its medium.

First option: make the battles one click instead of however many. You have no choice but to keep clicking until you win or lose anyway so let’s streamline that.

Second option: You need to have multiple options in a fight. Give the player resources. Take inspiration from Pokemon and include items that give status effects. Instead of making an attack this turn, you chuck a flash bang and blind the enemy so they have a -5 on attacks for the rest of the encounter, or you throw a live chicken at the zombie to distract it and end the fight prematurely, or you activate a trap and instantly kill one combatant, or you recklessly attack to give yourself a bonus at the cost of being easier to hit next turn. Or you quaff a magical healing potion and regain some hit points. Anything so that the player doesn’t feel 100% helpless to fate.

I checked under the hood, so to speak, to see how your combat system works.

Basically you just set the enemy and their stats ahead of time, then the game goes through the dice rolls. It subtracts your roll from the enemy. If you beat their roll, you hurt them, and vice versa. Pretty basic combat system, nothing too complicated, which is good.

And you’ve also got a separate combat flow scene which seems to be primarily related to getting back to your original position. This one requires you to exhaustively list every combat scenario and include a host of if and elseif statements that covers every possibility.

I noticed that you have to have several different scenes for each combat, too. The combat.txt is accompanied by carcombat.txt and giantcombat.txt, which suggests that you couldn’t find a way to efficiently adjust the combat settings based on the scenario.

Well, have I got the solution for you! It will require a bit of extra homework, but you’re going to want to look into params (search the wiki and the forum). With params, you can use the same code but specify a different combatant and different stats based on the scenario they come from. You can also set the return location more easily. Try them out! Experiment!


do you have a game reference for that so I can take a look?

So far the feedback that I’m receiving has been great, From both people who liked the game and the people who didn’t, there is always something to learn. My aim with “Raptors” was to create a game with Third-person perspective, and more combat-focused, taking inspiration in tabletop RPGs and in “Fighting Fantasy” games. Taking notes on the comments further updates shall include:

  • More Dialog Options;
  • Work with the combat system in a way that the players might interact more. But I’m looking for something simple as well. I’m open to all suggestions you can give.

Considering the size and scope of the updates it might take a while to present something concrete,

As always, thanks for everything. BE A RAPTOR!!!

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I believe the second option might be better, but it will need the game’s interface to be changed and/or an inventory system that can be used on the go. I’ll try to see any examples of that on ChoiceScript. I liked the ideas about params you gave, but I would ask you also that further comments about what’s “under the hood” to be done privately before bringing it to the public. I can talk about the game’s programming, but it’s kinda uncomfortable to have these details revealed by someone else even when I haven’t said anything in the topic. I appreciate your attention and your understanding.

Oh if it’s on dashingdon anyone can take a look just by adding /scenes to the hyperlink. Unfortunately there isn’t really a way to keep it private. I don’t mind it so much, as opening it up to the forum is a good way to get feedback on the underlying code as well as the prose, but some people might prefer a bit of privacy regarding how they make the whole thing come together.