Project Legends: The Battlemage (WIP)

Quite an overhaul last time I’ve played through this, and definitely for the better. It may just be a draft but it’s already well-polished, and a joy to read. The choices for your unique magic skillset are also things that are not especially common, but still not rare enough to seem overpowered. A nice balance.

I didn’t encounter any errors on my playthrough. I was going for a jack-of-all-trades sort of build.

Now, I want to get some of the elephants out of the room first:

Is the appearance of the MC’s nightmares and Max/xie’s arrival related at all? It would be nice to know why the parents are gone for a month and they suddenly bring along this child who is vague about how they came about, all while the poor MC keeps waking up in nightmares. Sheesh, they’re circadian rhythm is even worse than mine. :cold_sweat:

Will Max/xie be able to go with the MC to the academy? Do they have any magical talents they kept hidden away from us?

Will there be a chance at all in the story to live out what the MC wants to do with the Val’Shuun in their first dream? Like fighting or examining them? I think it’d be interesting. (No pun intended)

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Grr… It’s probably a typo or something on my part that screws the coding up.

I have a love for making people suffer with cliffhangers. No. I am not a nice person in case you were wondering. I am Heartless after all. :wink:

Thank you! I still have the old version somewhere, and when looking at it before I thought to myself “I’m going about this the wrong way. Must. Change.”

I want to try to balance magic. Yes, balance magic. That sounds crazy since magic is essentially an OP force of mayhem, but I want to do it as well as possible, but only as long as I don’t compromise the game and magic system.

I could tell you, but I’d prefer that you think of a whole bunch of different ideas and become paranoid over what’s true and false until I reveal the truth. :wink:

Possibly. All I’ll say is that it depends on their impression of you, if you really want them to go, and that they won’t be a student (at least a full fledged one). As for magical ability. It’s very faint. Not strong enough to be considered a mage, but strong enough to where they could utilize it should (s)he find proper training for it.

All I’ll say is that the Val’Shuun and you will be seeing a lot of each other. Whether that’s good or bad is up to you.

I hope you don’t mind, but I looked in your code, and I think the problem is that:

*if mgen = male

should be:

*if mgen = “male”

Yep, already fixed and corrected in my version. Thanks.

Also how did you see my code through this site? I know only the way to do so when it’s through dropbox.

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Stick “/scenes/startup.txt” at the end of the address. From there you can access the startup file, and find the names of the other files.

More info on how to view game code is on this thread How To See Other Games’ Code
Game

Thanks for that link. I used it before. Just when I tried it on the dashingdon site it didn’t work for me. I most likely just typed it in wrong.

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OMG. Maxxxxx :sob: Max is so cute :triumph: So. Cute.

I like the reworked intro. Admittedly it’s a bit hard yet to know what sort of focus all the studying should have given that it’s a rather early juncture in the game. I like the idea though hope you stick with it so we find out where you are going with this.

After eating and resting you’re back outside the practice room. You have an entire weak to practice, until you join the academy.

You wanted week there :stuck_out_tongue:

Opening your eyes, you see darkness once more, but before you can panic you realize you’re back in your room. You feel that your body is soaked in sweat, but at least your alive.

You wanted “you’re” there.

Embaressed your father let you go and gave you a warm smile.

You want “embarrassed” there.

After practicing you saw that Maxxie was just silently watching you. For now you could let it be, or you could confront she.

Wants to be “her”.

It looks like some of the servants gave Maxxie a thorough cleaning. Hers hair was washed and combed, a fresh pair of clothes, and hers face seemed to glow after being watched.

Just wants to be “her”.

I’ll edit this post if I spot any more typos/potential edits.

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Really enjoyed this (that cliffhanger tho!!!) i am so looking forward to seeing where it’ll go!! i love the different reactions you can have and the combinations that can gave a unique character, it seems that you’ll also have some focus on npc characters/companions as well? (crosses fingers!) I also love the prophetic dreams aspect… along with the arrival of this mysterious stranger which may or may not be connected… v intriguing…

Aside from some spelling errors I do have a few things to point out that might be helpful:

On the ground your priestess laid, resting. He was exhausted from communing with the Gods, and would be of no more use in this fight.

*priestess usually implies female so you could use “priest” or “they” rather than “he” (unless this was intentional)

Striding forward, it commanded the other Val’Shuun to withdraw.

*the next paragraph suggests they’ve advanced to attack rather than withdraw?

“Time to wake up now, young master” Rosalie said sternly

*later she calls you “mistress” if female so you should probably take this out or change it to a gender-neutral term

You felt magic at work. Your brain was flooded with a magical presence, and it was the most uncomfortable feeling you ever felt.

*comfortable ?? or if you did intend it to be an uncomfortable feeling i’m curious for an explanation! as this would contradict that MC felt it had “always belonged” on their arm

Not some rich merchants child, or even those non-magical “Nobles”. Though the distinction is not new to you, seeing it clearly displayed on your codex, made you feel giddy like a little kid again.

*being giddy implies that you enjoy the distinction of your rank even tho u can contradict this in next choice

I almost never left, unless my parents or some trusted guardians were with me.

*inconsistent pov

wrinkle-free suit and bowtie

*period accurate? i read you mentioned this takes place resembling medieval times, so a bowtie and suit would be out of place, unless that style of clothing is an intentional choice?

On the outside you were smiling, and on the inside you were

*this would flow more naturally if you cut out the “on the inside you were”; for example instead “you were smiling and/but you felt ___” depending on the previous choice.

One more suggestion, maybe you might think about including part of the expanded choice in the initial choice selection? for example, rather than just one-word answers you could include a clarification of what that choice entails. one good example of this is in your reaction to your parents’ trip, choosing “concern” results in later stating that you were never close to your parents while we have no way of knowing that’s what the “concern” choice entails. TLDR; make it clearer to know what the intention behind each choice is before rather than after choosing it.

Also… i like how you worked in the choices for determining MC’s orientation but i also hope that MC’s initial reaction to Max/Maxxie wont determine the availability of a later possible romance?? :3 bc i can see alot of storytelling potential for the relationship; childhood enemies but becoming friends/lovers later, a mutual/one sided crush on either/both, initial best friends who drift apart, enemies who stay enemies, etc… i know that’s a lot of variables just for one character but interesting to think about!

edit: also!! im wondering if we can go against or refuse to use our Housr magic… even though it seems to be the strongest stat maybe there can be ingame opportunities to express that you actually despise the magic of your family and take every opportunity to avoid using it… except in cases of extreme danger and even then we may feel guilty about it? so many possibilities…

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@LckyLrkr

Welcome to the forum, as I see you are a new user :wink:

Just wanted to advise you to read the rules, as one part is specifically about not asking the authors for updates, as it could put unnecessary pressure on them.

https://forum.choiceofgames.com/guidelines

On this, have a nice day :wink:

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Sorry about that! guess i missed that part of the rules! edited my post. thanks for the welcome!

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Just a quick question to people. Considering this is a fantasy world and no doubt there is going to be a lot of new technology, phrases, slang, etc etc.

How do you want new concepts/items to be introduced? Would you prefer there be a reference page that you can look at, or for the in-game text to give a description of the item? Or some mix of it all?

  • Reference Page Only
  • Reference Page and Brief Description when first introduced
  • Brief Description Only
  • Other

0 voters

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Thanks to everyone that voted. Looks like I’m going with a reference page alongside a brief description.

@LordOfLA
Your skill at spotting my typos is always valuable, so thank again thank you!

@LckyLrkr Thanks for pointing out those errors. Some of the gender mishaps is because of my coding. I didn’t properly code certain things so sometimes it gives the female or male gender descriptor rather than the one you actually chose.

Never thought about going against your house magic. Maybe that can tie into some certain plotlines I have in mind Cue schemeing manical laugh- Oh wait that’s not my thing.

I am going to flesh our Max/Maxxie more. He/She will have their own side plot, quests, etc, and will play a part of the main story. No whether that role is beneficial or detrimental for you… shrugs

As for the scene with the Val’Shuun it’s meant for the “common” Val’Shuun to retreat, because the Val’Shuun leader basically decided “I’m just gonna beat all of them up by myself. The rest of you retreat and witness my glory”

@chrisbat True it’s hard to know what to study, but I plan on having all options be viable (maybe be the ultimate pacifist? Now that’d be something considering the amount of things I have planned…)
I wanted that to be a little pre-academy study time. You choose what you deem important or useful to yourself, and if the academy lecturers say you’re wrong, you don’t have to follow their rules (granted they’ll probably fail you. Or not depending on certain choices…)

In the academy you’ll have a more structured form of studying and classes that you attend that will increase skills, and give a better knowledge of the world and it’s inhabitants. Now whether or not you try to study or ogle at the guys and gals in your class is up to you…

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In the academy you’ll have a more structured form of studying and classes that you attend that will increase skills, and give a better knowledge of the world and it’s inhabitants. Now whether or not you try to study or ogle at the guys and gals in your class is up to you…

how will you train your house magic in the academy ? because is house magic not magic that only your family can use or is more a magic that is inherited and that multiple families have the same one?

You have the option to train now, and your parents are going to show you some more advanced training practices for it, because spoilers.

Just wanted to point out that Across the Skies and Seas a project I am working as a member of Team SNK which also includes @KnightStrike and @Snowpanther has gotten it’s prologue up.

Thread of Across

Demo of Across

While you’re waiting for the next update of The Legend of the Battle Mage you can play the demo of Across as well!

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I love it so far :slight_smile: I’m excited to see how Max’s character develops alongside my own. Also excited to see the consequences of the dreams my MC has been having…

I’ve been expanding on Max/Maxxie’s story quite a bit, so now he/she will have his/her own side quests. Quite a few of them too. Not sure how many I’ll have in the first book though. Maybe 2 tops.

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