This is a brief WIP and there are currently no stats. I have an idea of where to go with this but I’m happy to consider any requests or thoughts on the story.
Just ask yourself the question: What could happen?
If you have an interesting answer, I would really like to hear it.
As a side-note, the game is also sort of a showcase/proof-of-concept for using color in CS, which dashingdon.com now supports (link to details: Dashingdon: Free ChoiceScript Game Hosting - #99 by dashingdon). Let me know if the colors are bothersome or they detract from the story or anything of that sort. Thanks.
P.S. Some people have asked so just to clarify: Yes indeed I am still writing The Burden. I hope to have an update out by the end of the weekend. I know it’s been a long time, but the story of the naked nobody will indeed be continued.
it’s not brothersome, it just takes sometime for me to be getting used to it.
and as for the story, it really is interesting, there is something bugging me though, i guess i’ll PM you.
There’s a couple of really interesting concepts going on in this story, and I really enjoyed my quick look. Phobias deciding powers is something I haven’t seen before and has a lot of implications and interactions. Following the logic, an arachnophobe would gain the ability to control spiders? Or is it not always that straightforward? From what we saw, fear of darkness led to control over shadows and Dr Warner’s ability was directly linked to his fear as well. Another interesting thing was that Brangwen’s powers were sentient/had their own will. I have seen that before, but it’s always refreshing. Anyway, thanks for a good read.
Really cool concept and I actually like the colors they kind of break up the paragraphs so you can clearly tell which bits are dialogue and who’s talking.
Well, the colors aren’t annoying, they help you remember who is talking, so that’s a plus. I’m not really into having my surname picked for me though. Story seems interesting. Oh, you also kinda gave us our personalities too. I hate that. “He would always wait for you to finish speaking. He would never interrupt, regardless of the horrible things you said to him and the vulgar names you called him.” That’s also locked, it’s pretty much saying that you open up to him, but what if that’s not how my mind works? Maybe I didn’t tell him jackshit. You wanna make Julian friendly? Be my guest. But DO NOT make my MC friendly. You should focus on characterizing the personality of the MC. Anyway, I really look forward to see where this goes.
Fair point, thanks. I had thought the option of taking Julian’s hand or not would be enough to characterize your relationship with him but I did hard-set that he was looked upon as sort of a friend. In my mind, a nine year old child imprisoned in a strange place would look to someone for friendship but now that I think about it, that wouldn’t always be the case.
I don’t think I’m going to write it as straightforward as that. As I plan it, even the very same phobias will manifest in different ‘powers’ so to say.
That’s another idea I’m toying with and it will probably come up in the next update.
I actually enjoy the colors. A lot of times in these games, I sometimes loose track of who’s talking and the colors help. Also love the battle with your own demons theme.
@dashingdon oh my god I’m so happy I can’t execute the idea myself because of my studies but you, you did good, better even than what I could have done. Keep it up,gosh my heart was pumping hard while reading it.
So curious about the others phobia and Julian and that doctor who fears death I like them.
Thanks! If you have any ideas or requests, please let me know. I’m happy to do the writing if you want to consult on your idea. Good luck with your studies!
This good, this different than other games out there. A question if okay, what if someone gets over the phobia they getting? That mean no more special power? Or it mean something elze?
Overcoming a phobia is rather hard, but not impossible. It has some multiple ways to cure or treat? Not sure what proper word should go, but on regards to what if the person overcomes their phobia. I say it better to let their manifested powers to dwindle or disappear since trigger for said power was the phobia it has relation to it. Removing phobia will also remove the persons’ power since the trigger to manifest the said power is now non-existent. Am I make sense? I’m trying to say it in English and I hope it comes as something coherent.
I understand. It’s an interesting notion, to have ‘powers’ dwindle or disappear as someone gets over their fears. I will very likely use this somehow in the story. Thanks!
I think if they get over the fear they should gain control of it, the phobia gave them the power but now it is a part of them, it shouldn’t just disappear like a cold.
It would be cool to see how their phobias progress with their powers as well. The less afraid you are, the more control you have. The more afraid you are, the more control IT has over you.
I can’t execute the idea myself because of my studies but you, you did good, better even than what I could have done. Keep it up,gosh my heart was pumping hard while reading it.