Beta Testing for a new game by Allen Gies; a free roaming digital adventure set in a lone house out in the wilderness. Expect dread, suspense, and drama. At least, that is what I am trying for.
First up, a link to the drop box index so that people can playtest the game:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/89217689/web/mygame/index.html
Second, I know it will need a lot of work, so if there is a typo or error, please include a chunk of text and the scene in which it occurs (Sun-up, Sun-Down, Nightfall, etc) as this will greatly speed my efforts to fix the problem.
Lastly, if you have any thoughts on how to make the game better, or just observations in general, those are always welcome.
vairable18 invalid vairable
Iām not sure what the reason for bumping your Marine Raider thread for a link to this is for, especially since this is still on the first page.
Just a small thing, the nearby town is spelled out as āHollyHockā, shouldnāt that be āHollyhockā or did you intend it to be āHolly Hockā?
@RagEgnite
Itās not really considered bumping, as Allen was the author of the discussion, and he wasnāt posting something useless like āwhen is the next update?ā Plus, there is a lot more than a page here.
Allen:
Great work on this. The writing is really good as always, and I do find myself a little creeped out by the story. I only got up to the white stones before other things indisposed me, but I do quite like it so far, and Iām excited to see another CS novel by you 
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@vampierkid222 - A critical error out of the gate? That isnāt good. Do you recall where it popped up? A sentence fragment would also do as the 18ās I searched for all seem to be correct. Glad to have your input by the way.
@Bloodwyche - Yep. Bad capitalization. Rather obvious now that you point it out. Thanks.
@Samuel_H_Young -Iām glad you like it thus far. Iāll certainly be interested in your opinion of the tone as the story develops. Pacing can be a hard thing to judge and I expect that I wonāt get it right the first time, especially in a horror piece.
I always make sure it passes quicktest before posting an update 
just a bit of advice
And Iāll read it all the way through in a few hours and give you some more in depth feedback then!
I found the same error vampierkid222 did after I left the desk in the study
Okay, I gave it another read, though I havenāt read all the way through. One thing I would really like to see are more stats.
Also, here are some typos: āThat is especially true when combined with your tire_iron.ā
āThe timbers reek of long decay, rest piled one atopā
Error: line 18: Invalid variable name: ārun_goad 0ā
Scene: sundown
Error: line 3484: Non-existent variable
I still donāt see the reason for it, though.
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@RagEgnite itās like commercials, you donāt want them but they are there 
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The opening seemed stuttered. I have options to explore the glove compartment, find a backpack in the backseat, and leave the car. Realistically, thereās no choice, itās a choice-driven way to show me possible inventory. And then I leave the car.
So at this point, I was like, āthis is not the Allen Gies of Marine Raiders or Tin Star. Who is this impostor!ā
Then I saw the narrative system at work and thought, āwow, this is unique.ā
I would consider one thing thoughāthis could be a realistic 3rd person IF. Maybe make it open with narrative and tell people at the onset how horror movies always play out certain tropes. Give more impetus upfront. It was fun to discover the narrative but it happens fast enough, so it may do better to introduce it first and build it up in the intro.
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Hi @AllenGies
Iām excited about your new game and will take a closer look at it to provide feedback. For now I found these for your review. 
Basement - Chose to hook chain to lower myself down. Got this error: āLine 3484 non existent variable how did i get down the broken stairsā
Examine closet, creating fire in the stove, reading index card about buying more batteries and examine wallpaper all generated this error: āline 18 invalid variable name run goad 0ā
@Samuel_H_Young - O, I ran quick-test alright. But apparently I then copied the file from my dropbox to my testing folder instead of the reverse. Ack! Fixing that now.
@vampierkid222 and @that1german -Okay, I found the bad temp value hiding in the sundown file. Havenāt located the line 3484 error yet and it isnāt showing up on Autotestā¦ sigh.
@JimD -Thatās a good point. I spent a lot of time trying to be innovative with the arrangement of code and apparently forgot to polish up the beginning prose.
And as you said, at least mentioning the horror tropes and such might be a good way to go because your car is breaking down on the side of a lonely stretch of road. Indeed, I might as well not hide the presence of the backpack and notepad. I mean, you know it is in the car. An option not to take either would be a way to gain narrative points.
Hmm.
@piggleywinks -Glad to have you here. Things arenāt going according to plan, but what fun would it be if they were?
The files are updated, but Iām not certain about the line 3484 error. Working.
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Okay, I couldnāt figure out exactly what was wrong with the variable the game couldnāt see even though I certainly could. But since the code worked fine from my personal archive, I copied that over to the drop box and ran it. The error just magically disappeared. Perhaps it had something to do with the very old files I had on dropbox.
Regardless, weāll use this link from now on.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/89217689/dfabulich-choicescript-e14aa48/web/mygame/index.html
As for more statsā¦ would an opposed pair of Cautious/Audacious, Inventive/Wise or Practical/Abstract be interesting? As it stands, the stats are indeed pretty vanilla. I could code in some additional choices and descriptions to reflect those, at least early on when those little things might matter. Later, well, there is a lot of running and terror.
These added stats would also add some initial flavor to be beginning as character choices are made and thus be more in keeping with my previous gamesā style.
The archetypes that come to mind for a horror story are the jock, the nerd. the outsider, the ordinary, and the innocent. All of whom would have different reasons for driving out on the lonely stretches, different equipment to start, etc.
With your latest version, no matter what choices I pick, once I click āNextā after getting out of the car, the game freezes and Firefox gives me an āunresponsive scriptā alert and I have to stop the script (which makes the next page blank except for the title and buttons). Apparently itās stuck in a loop.
same here